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Corrupt a Wish

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Granted, but climates are thrown off all over the world making your country the only habitable place. Everyone else in the world tries to move there, making your country disastrously overcrowded.

 

I wish for a plate of pancakes.

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You are given a pan of platecakes instead. It hurts to eat them.

 

I wish to be able to understand and speak in any language.

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In due time you start muddling up the languages and speak to people in the wrong language, leading to massive confusion.

 

I wish I could cook well.

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Granted, but your cooking will only ever come out right if you make twice as much as you need, and any leftovers spoil before you can eat them. Therefore, half of it always goes to waste.

 

I wish I had the money I need to have my name and gender marker changed on my legal documents.

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Sadly they will mess up your new name’s spelling so badly that the country decides to ban it.

 

I wish I could always be wrapped in a blanket.

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You are always wrapped in a blanket... but it's always a thin & scratchy one when you're freezing cold and a fluffy & bulky one when you're overheating.

 

I wish I could whistle.

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You can whistle but it's always obnoxiously loud and it irritates people.

 

I wish I had the money to travel.

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Granted! Your money will travel all over the world, but you don’t get to go with it.

 

I wish it wasn’t raining.

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It will still rain, but sadly you will never be able to see or hear it. You’ll have to check the weather everyday, otherwise you might just get rained on while going for a walk.

 

I wish I could sing

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You sing beautifully but you will never stop singing. It's 24/7 for the rest of your life.

 

I wish I could skip college and just have a degree and career already.

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You are always happy - painfully so. The horror that you call a smile has long since frozen in place, the muscles atrophied and painful. But the pain only serves make you happier. You live out your days in a blur, one day more blissful than the last but ultimately meaningless.

I wish people would respect boundaries.

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Posted (edited)

No one ever crosses property boundaries. For two weeks that is a good thing as it stops the coronavirus from spreading, but even after the virus is fully contained, everyone continues to act like they are on lockdown and the world never goes back to normal.

I wish the coronavirus didn't exist.

Edited by DavidMS703

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Granted! But your cat is now the only cat left on Earth!

I wish I would be a dragon

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You get killed by an angry saint.

I wish all the code I use at work was well commented

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Granted! But it is full of bugs and for every bug you solve, two new comes.

I wish aphobes would cease to exist.

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No one is afraid of anything involving the letter A anymore. Therefore, when a giant letter A falls off a sign right above you, you're not afraid and don't run so it lands on you and injures you.

I wish for this wish not to come true.

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Your wish for the wish to not come true doesn't come true. But also. It does come true. And it splits reality into two parallel realities that also split into two realities and those two realities split into two realities and it goes on forever! And in all of these realities your favorite band doesn't exist. 

I wish for massive cup of frozen yogurt with all kinds of delicious toppings and but somehow it all has zero calories. 

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Granted! But it is super poisonous and you dies at once when you tastes it.

I wish to be in a qpr.

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