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hi, I'm new, I would really appreciate it if someone could help me out :)


_pc_
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Hi! I'm new here. This is a bit of a rant I'm sorry, but I need help.

I always knew I was aroace to some degree (meaning I knew I didn't like people romantically, but didn't have the labels to tell me what I was.) I'm still fairly young, which is one of the reasons this is so confusing. I'm not comfortable sharing a ton about myself, but I can say that I am over 13 and under 18. Because I'm so young, I don't know if I'm just a late bloomer, in denial, too young to know, or if I'm actually aroace. For so many years as a child, I grew up thinking I was broken. Why couldn't I be like other kids? Why don't I like people? What if I do like them but don't know? I don't know what a crush even feels like, so how would I know if I get one? I was so confused, (still am tbh) and thought that there was actually something wrong with me, and that it would never be fixed. I only found out about the term aromantic/aroace a year ago. (december 2020 to be exact.) It's sad that it's such an unknown term that I hadn't heard about it until about a year ago. People surrounding me always had crushes, even in elementary. Usually, people start feeling real attraction around age ten. I never felt that attraction. I have only ever faked a crush once, but I knew it was never true feelings. Everyone surrounding me has crushes, lovers/gf/bf/etc, and for the most part know their sexuality, meanwhile I'm just over here having a crisis about this every single day. And then theres the other thing; how am I supposed to know for sure if I've never been in a relationship? I feel like that's the only way I'll ever be able to convince myself, and yet I never want to be in a romantic relationship. Ever. It makes me uncomfortable just to think about it. Anyway, I found this place through reddit, I hope it's helpful, I'll appreciate any insight I get. I just wish things were easier.

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7 hours ago, _pc_ said:

I don't know what a crush even feels like, so how would I know if I get one? 

Allo people usually say that you just know when you have a crush in someone... The typical things like racing heart, butterflies, thinking about them 24/7, wanting to do 'romantic' things with them... 

7 hours ago, _pc_ said:

Because I'm so young, I don't know if I'm just a late bloomer, in denial, too young to know, or if I'm actually aroace.

As you have said, people start getting crushes about the age of ten. They think about meeting someone they love, maybe getting married... I would say that you are never 'too young to know', there are things that you just know, and if you feel that using the term aroace helps you to define yourself, then you are free to use it. Remember that labels can change, and that if for some reason someday you start feeling romantic/ sexual attraction then you can change your labels into something you are more comfortable with. If at the moment you feel that the term aroace fits you, then use it. 

In this forum you will be able to meet people who has had similar experiences to you, ask questions and feeling a part of a community. I hope that you find the answers you need.

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Some people know for sure they're aro really young. And some never really know for sure no matter how old they get. If you want to try dating someone you can do it, there's no rule that you have to know for sure before you try it out. But if you don't want to it's probably not gonna help for you to push yourself.

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13 hours ago, _pc_ said:

Because I'm so young, I don't know if I'm just a late bloomer, in denial, too young to know, or if I'm actually aroace.

So, I'm 14, and I did think for a while that I was a late bloomer or that I was "broken" but then I did more digging into aromanticism and I found out that I'm aroflux and asexual!

I tried dating someone and it just didn't work out, therefore confirming I'm aro-spec. And Now I'm in a QPR with an a w e s o m e person!

Also I love your picture _pc_

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15 hours ago, _pc_ said:

Because I'm so young, I don't know if I'm just a late bloomer, in denial, too young to know, or if I'm actually aroace

I'm in middle school so I understand that 

and my friends called me sexually dysfunctional so it took me longer to accept that and like bee I'm i a qpr with the coolest person ever 

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Hi

One thing that might be useful is that you don't have to try something in order to realise it isn't something you want to do.

Your parents might say, like mine always did when talking about food, 'How do you know you don't like it if you've never tried it'. But they are wrong and I have a large number of recommendations as to what people who say that can go do. (I won't repeat them here though, let's keep this pg).

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10 hours ago, Bumble_Bee- said:

So, I'm 14, and I did think for a while that I was a late bloomer or that I was "broken" but then I did more digging into aromanticism and I found out that I'm aroflux and asexual!

I tried dating someone and it just didn't work out, therefore confirming I'm aro-spec. And Now I'm in a QPR with an a w e s o m e person!

Also I love your picture _pc_

I'm not sure how this website works yet but I think I'm doing this right

Good to know that there are other people around my age group here lol

From what I've seen online we all used to love the word "broken" to describe ourselves before we started figuring things out XD

Also tyy, I was going to use the same picrew you did but went with kirishima instead

8 hours ago, Jackson_Glass said:

I'm in middle school so I understand that 

and my friends called me sexually dysfunctional so it took me longer to accept that and like bee I'm i a qpr with the coolest person ever 

brooo I've had so many people not believe me and tell me I'm lying when I tell them I've never liked anyone, seems to be a common theme XD

glad to know that you and bee are in happy qpr's!

7 hours ago, roboticanary said:

Your parents might say, like mine always did when talking about food, 'How do you know you don't like it if you've never tried it'. But they are wrong and I have a large number of recommendations as to what people who say that can go do. (I won't repeat them here though, let's keep this pg).

This is such a good comparison, this actually helped so much, thank you!

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