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What issues effect you the most as an aro person?

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6 hours ago, Mark said:

But the moment you indicate you are interested in something outside the romantic/platonic binary you tend to get this kind of response. (Or something along the lines of "keep your options open", with the implication that you really should only be looking for something romantic.)

Yeah, I know. But it really hurts and feels completely insulting to hear that my choice of going into a untraditional non-romantic and non-sexual relationship, and even be open to the consideration of being single for good and/or thinking/considering being a single parent by choice is deemed wrong in modern society. Not everyone wants either romance and/or sex and/or a relationship and/or kids.


Even if I ever do blurt out someday that me and my potential distant future platonic companionate partner could consider living together under the same roof but sleep in separate bedrooms and bathe and shower in separate bathrooms, I can still be called out for the fact that living together outside of marriage is a sin in my religion (though I'm leaning more into the spiritual side than religious).


Marriage is something to even have second-thoughts of. Most times, I'd prefer to be in a civil and/or domestic partnership with my partner (I await the day civil partnership for both straight and LGBT couples and gay marriage will be legal to do so here). If we're open to either of the three, it'll still be untraditional as I'd rather keep things simple, private and secretive as opposed to a publicized and grand one.

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On 21/03/2017 at 8:17 AM, Dodecahedron314 said:

Honestly, I didn't really have any issues with my parents' divorce, but I'm staying with my mom this week and it appears as though she has a...boyfriend-type creature????...and seeing them interact in a way that parses as romantic enough to trigger my romance repulsion is really throwing me off, in a big way. This is, to be perfectly honest, the one thing that's bothered me the most about their entire divorce, is the fact that now I have to deal with my mom doing the romance thing with people.

My dad is in the same situation (albeit with a girl of course), and while I don't have any romance repulsion to speak of the whole thing wonderfully brings to mind that as an aro I'll likely never have a platonic life partner. Also, irritability.

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The fact that all too many people refuse to understand that being in love with someone is a different thing from loving them (the fact the the latter can emerge from the former in certain cases is true, but the two things are NOT the same!!!). It makes me want to rant with frustration that so many people say "I love you" to each other without knowing what these words really mean. 


If I don't experience crushes and don't fall in love, I need a strating point for the (queerplatonic) relationship I've been dreaming of, too. Being best friends with that person in the first place is my starting point. Which takes time. Considering it all has to happen naturally, and that I can't take the pressure of having someone I barely know crushing on me, and all the misunderstandings and the myths that are being upheld by a whole army of ignorami, the probability of my finding a queerplatonic partner is slight. 

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