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What is your experience with cuddling? Does it make you uncomfortable, how many of you do it? other thoughts?


Ikarus
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I just thought it would be interesting to discuss cuddling. It's something I have never done, and I don’t know if I would ever feel comfortable doing it. There is the idea of cuddling and the reality, if my idea is no where close to reality then I would probably hate cuddling. That would mean I loved the idea of cuddling more than cuddling. 

One of the things about cuddling I like is its not sexual, at least how I see it. The intention behind cuddling would also be important with me. If there are any romantic or sexual intentions, I would feel uncomfortable.

Also I don’t think most guy are into cuddling, at least my straight friends would not at all feel comfortable lmao.... Its a social stigma I suppose, and dudes usually like competing with video games, and the like and not being intimate like this. 

More dudes should cuddle in my opinion, its cool, and it’s alright. It would help the whole male problem with appearing hyper stoic, and emotionless. Feeling is seen as a weakness a lot, and I think its a sign of toxic masculinity. But if your just not comfortable with cuddling as a dude, that’s your thing, do what you wanna do right... But no need to feel awkward by wanting to cuddle with your bro because of social stigmas. 

Anyway, those are my thoughts how about you people. 

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I've cuddled with friends.

I once had a really great cuddle experience with a former platonic partner.  It was everything that people usually assume sex would be.

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🤗Oh my gosh, I love cuddling! I cuddle with my mom a lot and hope to find a QPP(s) to cuddle with someday. I'm fine with just one, but I'm pretty sure I'm also polyaffectionate so cuddles for everyone! 

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I love cuddling with (most of) my friends!! There’s one group I have where we love piling up on top of each other and it’s a super great time (especially for me who’s often on the bottom, one of my comfort stims is pressure and that’s the best kind lmao). I don’t like sleeping with them though (like spooning and stuff, not sex)

There’s also my best friend who I absolutely love love cuddling with so much, and I love sleeping with her so much. Her bed is super comfy, first of all, and she just. Fits perfectly in my arms? It’s great and wonderful and I love her so much. (/p)

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I don't think I "like" cudding per se, but it is something that I can do for sure! and I like touch, so I do get something out of it, even thought cuddling definitely isn't desired by me, I still get something out of it. 

 

I think as long as you're comfortable cuddling, it can definitely be an okay thing! the thing is it is a kind of intimacy, and intimacy in relationships is imporant and normal. So, I believe as long as there is no objection to cuddling, cuddling can have importance if you feel some type of attraction or liking to the person you're doing it with, especially if they get someting out of it!

 

but on the other hand, I''d definitely consider it normal (and valid) if someone just wasn't that into cuddling, and got nothing out of it. I like intimacy in general, so that's sprobably why I get somethinig out of cudling! especially if it's something my partner desires. 

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I love cuddles. My best friend hates them so I don't cuddle with them, but I can do it woth just about anyone else of my friends. With family I do it sometimes when watching movies, but when theres a sleepover, my friends and I just mess with cuddles. I would love to enjoy spooning but I like to sleep alone, I wake up easily so having someone else makes it harder for me to sleep well.

Cuddling and spooning have no romantic nor sexual meaning for me, and my friends think the same, its just something we do that makes us feel good and close.

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I do enjoy cuddling. But like you, the intention behind it is important- if it's romantic, then I'm like nope! So usually I cuddle with people I know well and feel comfortable with. I need to be able to trust them, essentially, in order to enjoy it fully. 

On 9/27/2021 at 9:41 PM, Ikarus said:

More dudes should cuddle in my opinion, its cool, and it’s alright. It would help the whole male problem with appearing hyper stoic, and emotionless. Feeling is seen as a weakness a lot, and I think its a sign of toxic masculinity. But if your just not comfortable with cuddling as a dude, that’s your thing, do what you wanna do right... But no need to feel awkward by wanting to cuddle with your bro because of social stigmas. 

Also totally agree with you here!

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On 9/27/2021 at 9:41 PM, Ikarus said:

Also I don’t think most guy are into cuddling, at least my straight friends would not at all feel comfortable lmao.... Its a social stigma I suppose, and dudes usually like competing with video games, and the like and not being intimate like this. 

I would cuddle with my male friends if there wasn't this massive, massive social stigma about it. I mean in the way straight women are “allowed” to do it.

Funny that it’s regarded as less weird to get physically close to female friends… of course, you hit the limit very soon… but considering that everything is instantly assumed to be motivated by sexual attraction here, there is – for whatever reason – still more leeway than with male friends.

Edited by DeltaV
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Depends on the sort of cuddle it is. There is a sort of, almost formal hug which I am comfortable having with basically anyone.

Shoulder infront of their shoulder, each person hugs with one arm around the other, and is quite brief. (I'm not sure if that made sense)

This is very different to me than cuddling up on a sofa lasting for quite a while, which in my head is a very romantic thing and I don't feel comfortable with it. Although I can put up with it in for a short time if it is in a sexual context.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I don't have a lot of experience, but I think it depends.

I can definitely relate to liking the idea of cuddling more than the reality. I'm a selfshipper and I love thinking about cuddling my comfort characters, so I assumed I'd be into cuddling irl but... meh? I'm pretty touch-neutral and it turns out that cuddling/hugging doesn't do much for me. I've cuddled with hookups and felt Nothing, and it was weird and awkward because it seemed like the other person was enjoying it. I've talked to people online wanted to see me irl for cuddles (or "cuddles" idk lol), which ended up being uncomfortable and confusing.

Being close with very good friends is nice but I haven't cuddled them so I can't say how it would feel. If I had a partner/qpp I think I'd like to cuddle them- maybe not for the tactile feelings, but for the knowledge that we're there for each-other?

Quote

Also I don’t think most guy are into cuddling, at least my straight friends would not at all feel comfortable lmao.... Its a social stigma I suppose, and dudes usually like competing with video games, and the like and not being intimate like this. 

Everyone is different and societal pressure & stereotypes definitely play a role. There are a lot of guys who enjoy cuddling, they just don't get as many opportunities.

Edited by Apex
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don't like it.  if the other person sees it as romantic, like with my ex-bf, it's very uncomfortable for me.  as for platonic, it just doesn't do anything for me; physical touch isn't one of my love languages or whatever.  i like my space.  or if i do want physical (non-sexual) contact, it would be hugging.  my former fwb liked to cuddle in bed so i would, i didn't mind.  (tmi: especially since he did so much of what i wanted.)  but i wouldn't want to when we were just like hanging out in the living room.  so yeah, it ranges from neutral to strongly dislike.

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14 hours ago, aro_elise said:

don't like it.  if the other person sees it as romantic, like with my ex-bf, it's very uncomfortable for me.

This, too. Cuddling becomes way more uncomfortable for me if the other person is viewing it as romantic. Or if they don't know I'm aro, because then they might be expecting some mutual "spark" which isn't gonna happen

Edited by Apex
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  • 4 weeks later...

Personally I love cuddling my friends and sometimes certain members of my family, such as my mom, but outside of that idk.. I think if I had like a queerplatonic partner or something like that I think I’d like cuddling them too, though 

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As a kid, I used to enjoy cuddling. It was how I showed affection, but after some trauma through my early life, I don't enjoy touch anymore. My family love to cuddle each other, but I am the one to sit on the other couch, away from them. The idea does not seem to be bad, to be honest, but the reality always makes me uncomfortable.

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When I used to be in romantic relationships the guy would always want to cuddle and I'd find it super boring. You don't even do anything, just lay there.

But in recent years after being solo for a long time I've started to feel like I'd enjoy cuddling. I do a kind of meditation sometime where I imagine the sensation of physical touch and it's very calming. Of anyone would be interested in reading about that let me know. 

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I love cuddling I'm just always too scared to be intimate with friends in the case that they might take it the wrong way. Fortunately I've gotten more friends recently that are very touchy (lots of hugs and all that) and I've been over the moon. I get to play with their hair or lay my head on their shoulder. The other day I just got to sit behind one of them and we fully cuddled for a while it was great and platonic and all I want.

I've never tried cuddling romantically but I just know it would make me immensely uncomfortable.

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