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Thoughts and amatonormativity


mewix
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https://theaceandaroadvocacyproject.tumblr.com/

I think this has some good Aro stuff. Although I do not agree with everything or the sort of authoritative tone it tries to give.

I was reading this one I was pondering.

 

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To me the first one more just sexism rather than strictly aro.

I guess I can't expect a small information packet to elaborate and like there is intersectionality with everything but I feel like with point number 1 is more about sexism of sorts perpatuated by "romantic ideals".

Whereas the other two points below are more closely related to aro. Sure all is linked to Aro but then there are plenty of romance stories without harassing and stalking and it still gives off certain messaging. But I guess there is a interplay with all.

 

I feel the very last point, celebrity culture always disgusted me tbh but I guess the speculation and that made it more so.

Although I don't think all of that was centered purely romantic.

For some people they were attracted to wealth and lifestyles and how a celeb lives or sometimes their actual talents too ofc haha. But a lot of it was very materialistic and fake to me.

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I was reading the compulsory sexuality one as well and even this one I as allosexual I feel like the first point using sexuality to sell things is more of an issue relating to other things such as dehumanisation, objectification etc. But still ofc linked back. Over sexualisation is a big issue on its own, I don't think that is healthy for anyone with the oversaturation of this in particular, it's making things into a product to consume. 

Edited by mewix
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6 hours ago, mewix said:

To me the first one more just sexism rather than strictly aro.

I think it is both. I do believe people forgive easier to male character that stalks or insist a lot than to female characters. However, I also think that people also forgive a lot more what people do because they are "in love" than they do with any other reasons. Even in feminism. I saw a lot of debates about "sexual harrassment" between men and women that goes like this : men saying "but she could be my future wife" and women answering "come on, we all know you only want my body"... and none of them never challenge the fact that looking for romance is not an excuse.

But that's true it does not only affect aromantic people. It affects everybody, sadly.

7 hours ago, mewix said:

I feel the very last point, celebrity culture always disgusted me tbh but I guess the speculation and that made it more so.

Oh yeah, I'll never get shipping real life people. Or worst, people being angry or even threatening when there real ship doesn't happen. Because sadly, that happens. I still remember this guy in middle school who tried to kiss me because he wanted to show "how to do it" to the boy he and the rest of the class ship me with... While the boy in question completely respected my choice to not date him even if he really had a crush on me. That's crazy!

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50 minutes ago, nonmerci said:

I do believe people forgive easier to male character that stalks or insist a lot than to female characters.

I can think of a female character that stalks a lot and that Miraculous Ladybug when she is Marinette xP When you look into it is kinda creepy she goes round stalking someone so much.

Yea it is true a lot of things are accepted in the name of romance. Things like public proposals don't make a lot of sense unless I guess you were already planning to with the person, it puts a lot of pressure on someone, though it also has that expectation the man/masculine person does everything. 

54 minutes ago, nonmerci said:

worst, people being angry or even threatening when there real ship doesn't happen. Because sadly, that happens. I still remember this guy in middle school who tried to kiss me because he wanted to show "how to do it" to the boy he and the rest of the class ship me with...

I didn't know people took shipping that seriously :/ that kind of pushing behaviour is pretty scary tbh

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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11 hours ago, mewix said:

To me the first one more just sexism rather than strictly aro.

 

My thought was that as this was a quick guide to amatonormativity, that was possibly a good idea.  Push for more general things which affect people who are not aro, mixed in with the aro activism. I suppose this is difficult because of the quick format used but it would be good to have a piece that pointed out that putting romance on a pedestal is going to be linked to sexism.

similar sort of thing with compulsory sexuality. Setting out that compulsary sexuality is always going to  be linked to objectification would be an interesting leaflet.

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6 hours ago, mewix said:

I can think of a female character that stalks a lot and that Miraculous Ladybug when she is Marinette xP When you look into it is kinda creepy she goes round stalking someone so much.

Funny because I wrote that with this example in mind. A lot of people complain about how creepy the stalking is (and about how the creator dismisses the creepiness by saying "it is just a kid show" and "it is just for the joke"). I sometimes see people complain about Cat Noir harassing Ladybg, but less often because a lot of people think Ladybug is too hard on him for no reason (except, you know, keeping the flirt when she expressed multiple times she is not interested 😡).

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22 minutes ago, nonmerci said:

Funny because I wrote that with this example in mind. A lot of people complain about how creepy the stalking is (and about how the creator dismisses the creepiness by saying "it is just a kid show" and "it is just for the joke"). I sometimes see people complain about Cat Noir harassing Ladybg, but less often because a lot of people think Ladybug is too hard on him for no reason (except, you know, keeping the flirt when she expressed multiple times she is not interested 😡).

 

Yea he does get annoying and harassing, but I guess he doesn't result to stalking as he is already around xP following so he didnt need too. I guess the idea of the story was they do the whole role swap thing when they transform and act almost opposite to their personalities. Ye to think if that happened in real life would be urgh. I guess both are acting as the pursurer but in different contexts and ways.

Honestly I only really thought about these things after people made those commentary videos on them xP I probably thought more about how weird cat noir was being but I mostly focussed on the other parts of the show.

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