Jump to content

Recommended Posts

I'm not good at these introductory posts... I never know what to say.

 

I'm asexual, agender, apothisexual, atheist, and autistic... I guess that covers the As pretty well.  

 

I'm on AVEN too, but even though there are a lot of aros there, sometimes I get the feeling that we're kind of second class... with a lot of the focus there being on romantic aces and on 'normalizing' asexuality by statements like "But aces still want relationships/can still have sex!'.  I want neither of those things (especially that second one!), so that kind of statement feels kind of invalidating and erasing for me.  I suppose I joined here in hopes of finding a place where that part of my identity is just as accepted as the ace part of my identity. 

 

I live in southwestern Ontario, Canada.  I work in private security.  My elderly mother lives with me, and we have a cat (Artie) and a dog (Rikki).  I like reading, audiobooks, spooky stories, horror movies, making crafts, drawing, graphic novels, musical theatre, animals, documentaries, word-play, and researching esoteric topics late into the night.

 

  • Like 11

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi! Welcome to the dark side. :icecream:

 

I get the same feel from AVEN. That normalising statement you quoted there is probably my biggest pet peeve about romantic aces. As if we're somehow lesser for not wanting them?

 

I'm Baam over on AVEN, I've seen you around. :P

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey there, welcome to Arocalpyse! I've fled Aven for the same reason, though I wasn't there for long anyway *g*

So far I'm feeling very welcome here. I hope you will, too! :D:icecream:

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Welcome! :icecream:

I find aromanticism to be a day to day focus because you only have sex when you have sex but romance is an airborne virus so knowing there's an escape from it (this website) is great.

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

welcome to the dark side :)

large.jpg

 

  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

hello and wellcome.

I also love to draw, and read graphic novels, and draw those as well^^

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi, I've seen you on AVEN before. Personally I prefer Arocalypse over AVEN, since my aromanticism is a bigger issue in my life than my asexuality. But anyway, welcome to Arocalypse!:icecream:

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Welcome to Arocolypse Uncommon :icecream::icecream::icecream:

I think you will like it here :)

I haven;t so much run away from AVEN, as expanded my online life to include arocolypse. I still feel welcome in both places, but I do feel that there are vastly different experiences and challenges for alloromantic and aromantic aces. In particular I feel like I have to limit the number of rants I have on aven about being happily single. 

Anyway, welcome, I hope you find what you are looking for here.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Welcome to Arocalypse! Have some ice cream! :icecream::softserve: 

 

I also started on AVEN and came here to discuss aromanticism more. It seems like the aro community is just getting started, and is mostly within the ace community, but the ace community still doesn't talk about it much. 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Welcome to Arocalypse! :icecream::softserve: 

 

I feel the same way about AVEN, people seem to talk a lot about romance.. 

Hope you enjoy being here :) 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks, everyone! 

I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels conflicted about AVEN.. I thought I was just being too touchy, but I guess I'm not.

 

And I kind of feel guilty for that... I mean, AVEN gave me the vocabulary I so desperately needed to define myself.  Pre-AVEN, I felt freakish, wrong, damaged, alone, alien in this sex/romance-fixated world.  AVEN gave me an identity that finally fit me and made me feel complete and whole and secure and much less alone since there was a community of others at least somewhat like me.  But over the years, the focus on romantic aces (dare I say, *hetero*-romantic aces?) and the attempts to make asexuality more acceptable to non-aces with the aro/repulsed-erasing "but aces still fall in looooove/want romance/can have sex" comments have worn on me and made me kind of feel like I don't fully belong.  This place, on the other hand, seems to be a place where I can be openly both ace and aro, and neither part of my identity will be discounted.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, UncommonNonsense said:

And I kind of feel guilty for that... I mean, AVEN gave me the vocabulary I so desperately needed to define myself.  Pre-AVEN, I felt freakish, wrong, damaged, alone, alien in this sex/romance-fixated world.  AVEN gave me an identity that finally fit me and made me feel complete and whole and secure and much less alone since there was a community of others at least somewhat like me.  But over the years, the focus on romantic aces (dare I say, *hetero*-romantic aces?) and the attempts to make asexuality more acceptable to non-aces with the aro/repulsed-erasing "but aces still fall in looooove/want romance/can have sex" comments have worn on me and made me kind of feel like I don't fully belong.  This place, on the other hand, seems to be a place where I can be openly both ace and aro, and neither part of my identity will be discounted.

 

I feel exactly the same way.  AVEN was hugely helpful to me when I was figuring everything out; I'll always have a fondness for it for that. But I often feel on the sidelines there, whereas I don't here :)

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 17/06/2016 at 7:05 PM, UncommonNonsense said:

I'm on AVEN too, but even though there are a lot of aros there, sometimes I get the feeling that we're kind of second class... with a lot of the focus there being on romantic aces and on 'normalizing' asexuality by statements like "But aces still want relationships/can still have sex!'.  I want neither of those things (especially that second one!), so that kind of statement feels kind of invalidating and erasing for me.  I suppose I joined here in hopes of finding a place where that part of my identity is just as accepted as the ace part of my identity. 

I'm not on AVEN, since I saw it purely as an ace site.
Most likely not even all romantic aces actually want amantonormativity.
I want "relationships" but my concept there is very much of a solo poly and relationship anarchy mashup.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Uncommon! Welcome :P 

 

I came from AVEN too, and because of the 'But we can/want love' atmosphere like you said, I much much prefer Arocalypse.. 

 

I'm also in a Korean ace community(the only one out there) and it's also quite full of romantic aces... Which sometimes makes me feel left out and feel like I'm being swept under the carpet of whole romance/sex positivity movement:/ 

 

Hope Arocalypse becomes a safe haven to you as well :icecream::icecream: 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...