Figuring yourself out because that’s allways SO fun ?

[AroBeanchild]

I went on such a roller coaster ride to get were I am now regarding my sexuality. I wasn’t raised in a religious household, but I was barely informed about gay people, or trans people, or aromanticism for this matter! I grew up only knowing about being straight and the “two genders”. I was typical, making up straight crushes to use as pawns in daily conversation. I never questioned my orientation until I was paired in class with this girl.

She suddenly asked me, “do you like boys or girls?” And I, didn’t know what she meant, said “well, all my friends are girls..” she explained she meant like as in love, and said “well, I like girls”

that was my first turning point, as I began questioning something I never really thought about. Did I like girls? Was I a lesbian? I eventually came to terms that I was, and came out to some friends who were all supportive.

Time goes by, and I start to question again. Long story shortened to the end, I was a lesbian, and then bi, and then neptunic, (during this time my gender identity got thrown out the window too) and then pan. I didn’t really know what genders I liked, and some people gave me a bit of a hard time because I said i had sort of a preference for non men.

during this time, one or two of my friends came out as aro, and in doing more research into the topic, I realized I was somewhere on the spectrum!

See, I didn’t mention this before, but my only actual crushes ever had been on my good friends. (Ehe, existential crisis from feeling attracted to your best friends check)

i told my aro friends I was questioning again and may be on the aro spec. They were a little reluctant at first, because I was somewhat known as the simp in the friend group. After a bit they came around fully, and they helped me figure it out! I now identify as Demi- romantic and have now formed an aro cult. I feel half allo sometimes even, so I’m probably a bit of an aro flux too :) I’m also releaved not to have a label that specified gender preferences, that was one of my main struggles. I haven’t came out to my family regarding my sexuality, except for one person, but my parents somehow got hinted I wasn’t straight from seeing my search history though, and didn’t really care who I liked, but also told me it was a little weird to even be talkin about it since I’m “young” or something. You don’t have to be an adult to know who you are though, and when you tell someone that it feels kind of invalidating....

anyways, that’s my story so far regarding my sexuality. I hope this helps spread awareness, and I give my best wishes to those figuring themselves out!

 

ps. Here is a tip for figuring out who you are: don’t rush it! As much as you may want to know, give yourself time! Look up different labels! Talk to people about it! ( if you can and If it’s safe that is)

 

stay hydrated, until next time, it’s a pile of genders I don’t know what to do with signing off