Jump to content

Feeling alienated in the lesbian community


Recommended Posts

Apologies on the long intro, but summing up my question was a bit difficult.

I’ve known I’m on the aromantic spectrum for years, but I recently came to the realisation that I’m gay (or lesbian, whichever term you prefer). It seems like a lot of people are experiencing similar things during this time so I have been in good company.

However, when scrolling through tumblr, it seemed like there was barely any posts about aromantic lesbians. I felt quite discouraged by that since I didn’t feel comfortable with the general lesbian/gay culture tags my friend recommended. I eventually came across a post that summed up my anxiety: wlw culture is very centred around the experience of romantic love. The post itself gave the example of falling in love with your female friends as a very common lesbian experience, and I’ve never felt that.

It’s not just the experience of romantic love, it’s the wanting romantic relationships even in the abstract. There are so many posts about wanting a wife to stroke your hair, and I cannot relate to any of this. I’m all for this content for the people who can relate to it, but I just felt so lonely and unrepresented in a space I had hoped would make me feel seen. I’m not romance repulsed, but I would say I’m a little adverse.

Has anyone else experienced this? Perhaps I’m hanging out in the wrong place on the internet when I’m not on arocalypse.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm bisexual, not a lesbian, but I absolutely feel the disconnect from the sapphic community. Honestly, femininity in general tends to be pretty heavily associated with romance. Plus, in order to push back against the "predatory lesbian" stereotype, this weird ideal of the Soft Pure Wholesome Fairytale Romance Sweet Pure Soft Wlw Couple Uwu thing has gotten really prevalent, which pushes away those of us who are sexual. Basically being a sapphic aro is just a bad time all around lol

  • Like 2
  • Sad 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 6/8/2021 at 10:21 AM, Jot-Aro Kujo said:

I'm bisexual, not a lesbian, but I absolutely feel the disconnect from the sapphic community. Honestly, femininity in general tends to be pretty heavily associated with romance. Plus, in order to push back against the "predatory lesbian" stereotype, this weird ideal of the Soft Pure Wholesome Fairytale Romance Sweet Pure Soft Wlw Couple Uwu thing has gotten really prevalent, which pushes away those of us who are sexual. Basically being a sapphic aro is just a bad time all around lol

Yea I feel this. As someone who has a lot of lesbian friends and has seen a lot of what goes on in the community I totally understand where you come from. I seen post about asexual lesbians being called a certain word back in the 90's(I forgot what it was called but it was a positive nickname) and how everyone was saying how cute it was. I see almost nothing about aro lesbians. I feel for all my aro wlws out there. I hope you guys get the rep you deserve 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...