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The fear of being alone


Guest Beatriz
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Hello. My name is Beatriz and I'm 20 years old.

The reason why I'm writing this is because I've never felt love and I can't really see myself doing it.

I feel attracted to a person for a week or even a month but after that it just feels like a burden, saying good morning every single day and having to talk to the same person all day.

I always make people fall in love with me and for some time I also think that perhaps I'm falling in love but then all that passion fades away and talking to the person becomes annoying.

I know I may sound mean or cold, especially because since I was little I've always wanted to fall in love and have the most amazing relationship in the world, however, a heart is a big responsibility. What if the person becomes too attached? (which is completely normal but my heart doesn't want it).

Am I arromantic? 

I want to fall in love but the idea of belonging to one person makes me feel stucked. What if I meet someone else? What if I need distance? 

This is so weird ans confusing.

I can't love. Love feels wrong. But I want to love. Love is beautiful.

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You might be

There are some people in aromantic communities who talk about feeling an initial romance which then fades away for some reason.

For example some talk of romance towards strangers which fades when they get to know them (sometimes referred to as frayromantic).

some people talk about romantic feelings which go away when the person they have those feelings for tries to reciprocate them.

So maybe you are, it may be helpful to look for experiences by people who have those experiences to see if they relate to how you feel.

 

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omg i feel the same! i can experience infatuation, so im attracted to a person during a few weeks and then it goes away and it becomes uncomfortable to be in a relationship with that person

but i still didnt figure out my identity yet sooo... good luck. tho if u want to talk about it more hmu

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Hi there Beatriz, you are not cold or mean. It is just who you are and what you feel and that is fine. Now, to the topic, you may be aromantic. But if you want to do some research, look up cupioromantic, akoiromantic, aroflux. It may help you understand some concepts better. Also, any doubts, ask away and enjoy your experiences. 

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Having recently started identifying as aro, and realizing I've always been adverse to relationships and not feeling the same way as my partner when I'm in them. I do fear being alone, and while realizing that I'm aro it really hasn't helped that fear. I've also noticed my "crushes" are actually just squishes and usually just based on lust that fades after a few weeks. I'm trying to come to terms with it all, and have Apologized to past partners for not knowing I was aro and basically leading them on the whole time. I'd like to have a life long partner, not just because of society saying I need one, but because some needs can't be met at the moment without one, at least as far as my current friendships go.

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