Elin W Posted December 21, 2020 Share Posted December 21, 2020 (edited) My name is Elin. I’m a cis-woman, 37 years old from Sweden and I’m here on this site to be able to learn something.... ? I feel very humble to be here and I hope I can fit in, and be able to learn about aromanticism so I know if I’d fit into that definition or not. I have friends and family within lgtbq+ but I’ve always considered myself heterosexual, I guess cause society norms are what they are.... thing is, heterosexuality and me - we never had that much of a passionate relationship, in fact nothing has happened in that department. since I’m well over my 30s I’ve been thinking a lot about why I never develop attraction or fall in love with anyone. I know I’m not prudish, I think about sex a lot, I’m not afraid talking about it, it’s just that I don’t seem to meet anyone I want to be with that way. But learning about asexuality and aromanticism I’ve realised that I can relate so much to being aro. I recognize myself a lot. I’ve never been into dating, I feel very uncomfortable about the idea. I dislike the idea of making people like you, and I don’t seem to understand when friends seem to fall in love - all the time ? Well I shouldn’t tell my whole life story here maybe, but I’d like to get in touch with others to talk, and maybe that would help me figure things out. I feel very humble being here and it feels at the same time that I’m completely out of my comfort zone, but also that finally have found something that make things in my life make sense. The thought of maybe not having to deal with romance at all fills me with relief. But I’m not sure about it yet, just starting to figure things out and I hope it’s ok to be here while doing it ? thanks for reading my message! ? Edited December 21, 2020 by Elin W 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erederyn Posted December 21, 2020 Share Posted December 21, 2020 Welcome! That does sound pretty aro, but yeah, compulsive heterosexuality and amatonormativity can sometimes get in the way of figuring out one's identity. You're most welcome to use this space to figure things out and learn more about aromanticism and whether this is right for you or not. Plenty of people here are doing the same. 1 hour ago, Elin W said: thing is, heterosexuality and me - we never had that much of a passionate relationship, in fact nothing has happened in that department. Also, this is such a great description ? Nice to meet you and good luck on your journey of self-discovery! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elin W Posted December 22, 2020 Author Share Posted December 22, 2020 2 hours ago, Erederyn said: Welcome! That does sound pretty aro, but yeah, compulsive heterosexuality and amatonormativity can sometimes get in the way of figuring out one's identity. You're most welcome to use this space to figure things out and learn more about aromanticism and whether this is right for you or not. Plenty of people here are doing the same. Also, this is such a great description ? Nice to meet you and good luck on your journey of self-discovery! Thank you so much ? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roboticanary Posted December 22, 2020 Share Posted December 22, 2020 Hi, welcome As Erederyn said, there are many people using this site as a way of working out their identity, you are absolutely welcome using this site to figure yourself out. What you say about being relieved at not having to deal with romance really strikes a chord with me. That feeling, the weight off my chest was one of the first things that made me think I might be aro. Hope you find this a good place to work out your identity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elin W Posted December 22, 2020 Author Share Posted December 22, 2020 1 hour ago, roboticanary said: Hi, welcome As Erederyn said, there are many people using this site as a way of working out their identity, you are absolutely welcome using this site to figure yourself out. What you say about being relieved at not having to deal with romance really strikes a chord with me. That feeling, the weight off my chest was one of the first things that made me think I might be aro. Hope you find this a good place to work out your identity. Thank you so much!!! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Black Sesame Posted December 22, 2020 Share Posted December 22, 2020 Welcome to this site@Elin WI'm also still relatively new to the aromantic (and ace) community. Hopefully you can figure out what works best for you here. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MindBeam Posted December 27, 2020 Share Posted December 27, 2020 Hello! ? In my experience, trying to figure yourself out in terms of what society at large constantly implies you should be feeling/doing is a bit like trying to figure out what your golf handicap is if you don't play golf and have no desire to do so! ? Still, there's always the clubhouse bar - I mean the 19th hole... ?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elin W Posted December 27, 2020 Author Share Posted December 27, 2020 4 minutes ago, MindBeam said: Hello! ? In my experience, trying to figure yourself out in terms of what society at large constantly implies you should be feeling/doing is a bit like trying to figure out what your golf handicap is if you don't play golf and have no desire to do so! ? Still, there's always the clubhouse bar - I mean the 19th hole... ?? Not being a sport person I have no clue about golf but I think I know what you mean! ?? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MindBeam Posted December 27, 2020 Share Posted December 27, 2020 1 minute ago, Elin W said: Not being a sport person I have no clue about golf but I think I know what you mean! ?? Not being a golfer I also think I know what I mean. Well, actually I do - but I wonder whether any golfers do? ? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elin W Posted December 27, 2020 Author Share Posted December 27, 2020 38 minutes ago, MindBeam said: Not being a golfer I also think I know what I mean. Well, actually I do - but I wonder whether any golfers do? ? I’ve never understood that sport but there are a lot of sports that I don’t understand ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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