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Romance-Repulsion - What's it like for you?


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Personally, I identify as aromantic (and gray-ace, being mostly sex-indifferent) with a healthy dose of romance-repulsion that occasionally falls to romance-indifferent/favorable with fictional situations.

In real life, any romance makes me feel really uncomfortable when it's directed at me - it sorta makes me panic and I feel trapped and very, very awkward. I don't mind couples all that much, but they do annoy me at times. I typically don't let it be known, though I generally am not crazy about PDA or romance-related things. Relationship talk utterly bores me, and I don't get the drama associated with it or the reason folks like to talk about it/are obsessed with it.

As far as fictional stuff goes, I lean towards repulsion or indifference with the occasional favorable moment. I don't like the predictable straight romance that's just a token sorta "get the girl" thing, and feel mild repulsion towards romance in general. I do have moments of utter indifference and favorable opinions, though - with well thought-out relationships, I can get emotional or enjoy them, though... I like them more for the bond or the characters than the romance, haha. I feel repulsion when it's really sappy and honestly despise watching kissing scenes, especially live action ones (they look like they're eating each other's face and it is NOT a look, lol).

Because I'm curious... if you also experience romance repulsion, what's it like? For me, it's a cringe, an "EUGH" said aloud, or I feel a complete and utter disinterest in continuing to watch/read, should it be a prominent reoccurring theme. 

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In real life, I'd be uncomfortable, when it's directed at me. I just simply want it to go away. I don't mind PDA, also long as it's not kissing. Relationship talk tends to bores me and makes me feel awkward. The only time I'm interested, is if it's for my friends or family sake. 

Fictional wise it depends, live action, I've never really like it. I do watch rom-coms, but I watch it more for the comedy and story.  I remember watching The 5th Wave in theatres. The moment it suddenly turned from world apocalypse into a typical teen romance, I was ticked off. It ended up, ruining the whole movie for me. I've avoided most teen romance movies that come out. (I've sucked up and watched a few, for my friend.) 

Book/fanfic and animated wise, I can ignore it as long as it doesn't over take the story.

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  • 4 weeks later...

For me, with romance repulsion, I don't mind if other people are doing things like PDA or talking about their SOs IRL. It's not in relation to me, so I'm pretty much indifferent, and very much supportive. When romance is directed towards me, can't handle it at all, IRL or online. It makes me super uncomfortable and if it's really up there can even make me panic. I get this mixed feeling of awkwardness & guilt, because I really don't like hurting people and it's stressful af, and an overbearing sense of "RUN". So yeah lol.

In fictional media, it's a lot more fluid. Music? Literally don't care. If the music is good, I can ignore the lyrics and just focus on the tempo of it. TV/Movies? I can't do live action/animated romance; that hits the extremes of my repulsion. In writing/fanfic? If the plot is not wholly focused on the romance, and if the relationship makes sense/I like the character dynamics/the setting is interesting to me, I am more favorable. If the plot is nothing but romance and fluff though? I just get a slightly squeamish feel, not as bad as live action or IRL, but it's just irritating. I can get romance tired in writing, too.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hm, I am mostly pissed off by family and romance romcoms and movies that based both in North America and in other parts of the world, mainly because I see the femme or woman who is in a heterosexual, allosexual relationship in the TV series or movie playing some kind of damsel in distress, worrying about whether she/they are attractive enough, making sure the woman/femme is "conventionally attractive". In addition, there's the usual stuff of satisfying the male gaze, catering to the man's needs, not to mention that the people in the relationship never seem to have any kind of intellectual discourse, especially if it involves a heterosexual relationship.

So yeah, to me all of this 'romance' stuff in romcoms shows seems illogical to me. Why can't two heterosexual scientists get married and talk about climate change research and have their research advance their relationship somehow? A bit like with Marie Curie and her husband, at least from what I know. Idk why people would rely on superficial physical characteristics about someone, as looks disappear, people get sick, and people have interests other than catering to someone else..

IRL I find most romantic relationships and people 'crushing' on me to be nasty, because it usually has been superficial in my experience (i.e. mainly observation through alloromantic friends and them notifying me that someone has a crush on me or when they are in relationships). Usually it's all about looks, controlling another person, manipulation, and anything but love, which I can't even seem to really define other than an intense obsession and codependence on another person to feel good about yourself. I could have just observed a lot of toxic people, but from what I hear from people, it seems pretty common.

 

 

Edited by MulticulturalFarmer
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