Aromantic Moments

[Loveless Lizard]

Anytime someone mentions how “romantic” Romeo and Juliet is I’m just like no. There are so many problems with their relationship. Also when I watched Hamilton the first time and Eliza says “I hope that you burn” I didn’t understand why someone would be that mad about what happened 

[Atypique]

2 hours ago, Loveless Lizard said:

Also when I watched Hamilton the first time and Eliza says “I hope that you burn” I didn’t understand why someone would be that mad about what happened

I don't know the story of Hamilton but that seems like a really cool thing to say

 

I wear a non binary and an Aromantic badge. Today, I had to write down Aromantic in the middle of a class, because someone asked me about it and thought that I was talking about Antic Roma, or Romantic Art........

[Loveless Lizard]

36 minutes ago, Atypique said:

I don't know the story of Hamilton but that seems like a really cool thing to say

 

I wear a non binary and an Aromantic badge. Today, I had to write down Aromantic in the middle of a class, because someone asked me about it and thought that I was talking about Antic Roma, or Romantic Art........

Hamilton cheats on eliza and that’s her response to it. Also I made my cousin watch it and he kept saying how that’s the worst thing someone could ever do. (Worse than murder apparently)
It’s a super cool line and I get that she’d be mad but I didn’t understand why she’d wish death on him for that though

[Atypique]

13 minutes ago, Loveless Lizard said:

that’s the worst thing someone could ever do

Well I'd say that rape is a lot worse than that, and just as common

[Dane]

On 4/3/2016 at 8:13 PM, DannyFenton123 said:

Also, I find it annoying when I talk about shows I like and people immediately go to shipping. There's not an inherent problem with that and I know a lot of people like to do that, but there's a lot more to stuff than who likes who 

I'm aromantic and I'm a sucker for shipping. Can't help it!

[nonmerci]

On 2/28/2023 at 10:52 PM, Loveless Lizard said:

Hamilton cheats on eliza and that’s her response to it. Also I made my cousin watch it and he kept saying how that’s the worst thing someone could ever do. (Worse than murder apparently)
It’s a super cool line and I get that she’d be mad but I didn’t understand why she’d wish death on him for that though

Well he didn't just cheated. He decided to reveal to the world that he cheated by writing about it in newspapers, as if there were no other way to clear the accusations against him. His move was "no I'm not involved in speculation, I just paid a man so he shut up about me fucking his wife repeatedly in my house". I would also be pretty mad if someone decided to throw our private life to the public eyes like this, probably without telling me and our children before.

It may not be the worst thing Hamilton could ever do, but he surely was an asshole about it.

[BasicallyEmoPotato]

On 2/28/2023 at 3:52 PM, Loveless Lizard said:

Hamilton cheats on eliza and that’s her response to it. Also I made my cousin watch it and he kept saying how that’s the worst thing someone could ever do. (Worse than murder apparently)
It’s a super cool line and I get that she’d be mad but I didn’t understand why she’d wish death on him for that though

I watched Hamilton and was sort of confused why Eliza was so sad.

[aro_elise]

On 3/5/2023 at 1:01 AM, frittatacrisis said:

edit: i’m realizing that this is my ace side showing…

i was going to say.  but let’s talk about f***, marry, kill: first of all, i don’t want to marry or kill anyone!

[Atypique]

3 hours ago, aro_elise said:

i don’t want to marry or kill anyone!

I don't really mind killing... However f*ck or marry ? Aha... I'll just marry the aroest person I know... And fake f*ck someone ?

[aro_elise]

On 3/9/2023 at 1:36 AM, Atypique said:

I don't really mind killing... However f*ck or marry ? Aha... I'll just marry the aroest person I know... And fake f*ck someone ?

i hope you don't mean irl lol.  i mean, if my options were like, the hottest, the most delightful, and the most horrible person ever (hmm...david cassidy, lucille ball, josef stalin), sure, the choice would be clear, but the point of the game is it's supposed to be somewhat difficult.  once in university someone asked me to choose out of three women in our friend group and i managed to name the most aesthetically attractive, then my closer friend, then the remaining one, but i just don't find making unpleasant choices fun, like "would you rather" where you have to pick the less objectionable scenario, i'm like "neither.  i'll cross that bridge when i get to it." 🤷‍♀️

[Loveless Lizard]

Today I realized that people actually think about their crush when they’re listening to love songs/dream about them. I was talking to my friend (who is dating my cousin) and she mentioned that, and I just stood there confused because I thought that was just in books.

also my cousin finds a way to mention her in practically every conversation. We’ll be talking about books and he’ll say something like “you know what else is magical? [friends name]” yeah she’s awesome but we were talking about wizards 

[aro_elise]

11 hours ago, Loveless Lizard said:

also my cousin finds a way to mention her in practically every conversation. We’ll be talking about books and he’ll say something like “you know what else is magical? [friends name]” yeah she’s awesome but we were talking about wizards

yes!  i've known people like this.  the cringy thing is, i feel like in grade 12 i lowkey did that--"my boyfriend" this, "my boyfriend" that.  i was pleased with myself for my achievement in amatonormativity, lol.  but the older you are, the weirder it is.

[Guest]

On 4/3/2016 at 2:12 AM, DannyFenton123 said:

For those times when you suddenly realised not everybody around you was aromantic.

 

So we were watching a video on Youtube in French, but before it played an ad popped up. It was one of those ones you could skip after five seconds, but instead we ended up watching the whole minute of this random love story between a guy and a girl in highschool. It eventually turned out to be a Coca Cola ad... because those two things are related somehow? 

 

On 4/3/2016 at 8:49 AM, pengu said:

I had that moment when I once discussed love with my friends. In contrast to them, I'm very cynical when it comes to love, and said that romantic attraction only last for a maximum of three years- and if you haven't established other forms of bonds with that person your relationship is likely to fall apart. My alloromantic friends didn't agree with me of course and one of them said "No, not true, my boyfriend and I are still going strong even after two/three years! Just wait until you fall in love!" I didn't start an argument, because I think it's better to be a "happy fool" sometimes. She did however break up with him a few weeks after for the same reasons I mentioned. 

 

Sidenote: I think the couples that do last for decades have formed "family bonds" and have strong platonic love for each other. 
 

 

[Acearospec]

I didn't know of the term aromantic until a few years ago, but I definitely related to the experienced & figured out by my 20s that others didn't feel the same way...

I attended a colleagues' wedding in 2006 & wrote this in a journal entry later:

"At one point during the wedding the DJ had all the married couples dancing & even other times watching ___ & ___ and ___ & ___ (coupled partners) - they just seem so in love with each other still. Its amazing and a bit unbelievable to me to think about - to see that. Part of me thinks that's what it's supposed to be all about - to find someone who you can experience all kinds of love with during our time on earth. But I wonder if I can ever do that. I just don't feel like it for me - even though it looks nice - I don't understand it."

Six months after that, my entry/understanding following a dinner outing with two friends was a bit clearer even if I still didn't know the terms:

"We [two friends and I] discussed relationships. In the course of the conversation I felt like so much of what I was saying myself was sounding clearer - how I'd meant it for so long but not been able to explain. [Friend 1] also had great insight with it that actually really helped a lot, too. One thing that I've been struggling to comprehend with relationships is people's apparent desire/need for a "relationship" - marriage, partnerships, or even just with dating. To me it's not even as if it's something I'm ambivalent about, and certainly not a desire/need to have it, but something I so do not want any part of. And it seems like whatever positives and gains come from that can also come from any other relationships - friends or family, but that the losses and negatives are greater. Thus the losses outweigh the benefits.* And this to me is something I very definitely do not want. [Friend 1] suggested that my friendships were so deep and complete that perhaps this was why I do not have that desire/need/pull towards another kind of relationship."

*In retrospect I can see how the cost-benefit analysis (which is how I process pretty much everything), while still true for me, is not necessarily so for others since their costs/benefits would be different than mine. 

[HelloThere]

On 2/28/2023 at 5:06 PM, Atypique said:

Well I'd say that rape is a lot worse than that, and just as common

I’d say murder or terrorism is MUCH higher in the list, especially when coupled with torture.

[Atypique]

It depends on the point of view probably, for me rape could be worse than murder cause you'll have to live with it. But in any case, it IS way more awful than cheating 

[HelloThere]

2 hours ago, Atypique said:

It depends on the point of view probably, for me rape could be worse than murder cause you'll have to live with it. But in any case, it IS way more awful than cheating 

Yeah I can see how rape would be one of the worse crimes out there, but you could live with horrible wounds and agonizing pain from torture. Though let’s just end this increasingly worrying conversation here. XD

[SwiftySpeedy]

"Why do people ball their eyes out over something as small as a breakup"

Me at age 5.

[HelloThere]

30 minutes ago, SwiftySpeedy said:

"Why do people ball their eyes out over something as small as a breakup"

Me at age 5.

Oh yeah. I just don’t get it, you still get to live your life, you can still find other people! If you need to cling to someone to live then what the heck are you doing with your life?

[The Newest Fabled Creature]

I actually just started having "aromantic moments" now that I realized I'm aro. Like, I've always had been aro to some capacity since I was a kid (now it's in full swing ever since the revelation), but the moments are just now happening?

A recent one would be when I was watching Critical Role's Campaign 3 episodes (which I need to pick back up but I watch it with my siblings so I can't binge them by myself 😠) and I remembered that the DM, Matt Mercer, and one of the players - Marisha, are married and I thought to myself, "How can two people be so in love that they get married?" Unwarranted and an actual "intrusive" thought that made my head spin, because it was the first time I've ever been confused about romantic attraction/a romantic relationship. Because, I always did kind of "get it" by my being okay with romance or sometimes downright fascinated by it, but that moment threw me for a loop.

Maybe I only "get romance" when it's between fictional characters, because realizing that real, breathing, and thriving human beings just - straight up get married, is weird.

... Okay maybe I don't get romance but only of the non-fiction variety

Edited May 26, 2023 by The Newest Fabled Creature

[HelloThere]

21 minutes ago, The Newest Fabled Creature said:

I actually just started having "aromantic moments" now that I realized I'm aro. Like, I've always had been aro to some capacity since I was a kid (now it's in full swing ever since the revelation), but the moments are just now happening?

A recent one would be when I was watching Critical Role's Campaign 3 episodes (which I need to pick back up but I watch it with my siblings so I can't binge them by myself 😠) and I remembered that the DM, Matt Mercer, and one of the players - Marisha, are married and I thought to myself, "How can two people be so in love that they get married?" Unwarranted and an actual "intrusive" thought that made my head spin, because it was the first time I've ever been confused about romantic attraction/a romantic relationship. Because, I always did kind of "get it" by my being okay with romance or sometimes downright fascinated by it, but that moment threw me for a loop.

Maybe I only "get romance" when it's between fictional characters, because realizing that real, breathing, and thriving human beings just - straight up get married, is weird.

... Okay maybe I don't get romance but only of the non-fiction variety

My aromantic moments were in school (like 2nd grade) whenever I was asked if I had a crush I just named a platonic friend of mine that happened to be a girl and then left it there. I mean yeah I “get” relationships intellectually and I have few questioning moments but I never understood the INCREDIBLE emotional load of breaking up, dating, being cheated on, or marrying. That just sounded like crap that just well… happens. It’s always a part of stories so I just went with it but I tended to enjoy movies without romance, and never noticed its disappearance at all. The most noticeable moments was probably 3 months ago when some girl in my class decided to ask for my phone number (I still don’t know her name and don’t really care to) and I sorta panicked and felt a MASSIVE emotional burden all of a sudden. I was sweating, my heart was beating faster, my brain just couldn’t process why the heck some random stranger had to be this much of a pain. I said like 40 times “I just want to work. I just want to work. I’m sorry I really can’t reciprocate. And when she finally stopped she had the AUDACITY to send all of her tablemates to get my phone number. I told them no, put my head down, and kept working with a red face. Though I think my table interpreted that as some sorta way that I was trying to resist the temptation to say yes because they ALSO decided to tell me to give the phone number or asked random romantic questions. It took like 4 minutes to stop and when the class finally ended I gladly left the room. She acted angry about it but not even 20 minutes later she was joking around with her table, so for all I know that jerk wasn’t even legitimate about it.

[HelloThere]

1 hour ago, cheezmance said:

So I recently rewatched TLOR and I think Arwen is a very stupid girl. SPOILER!! Who in their right mind would give up their immortality just to be with a human?!

That’s like the stupidest use of literal immortality. You could do ANYTHING with that! You could learn everything there is to know about magic, culture, science, fighting, EVERYTHING. Immortality is something WAY too overpowered to give up. I mean yeah allo’s would feel lonely but is it really so hard to just stay friends with the humans instead? 
Plus I’m pretty sure that the alternative to staying was going to their home which, correct me if I’m wrong, I’d literally the representation of HEAVEN!

Edited May 28, 2023 by HelloThere

[Zariah]

Getting mad a characters in books when they don't let the bad guy kill the love interest so they can save the kingdom. 

They need to use common sense!! Kingdom > love interest. 

[SwiftySpeedy]

32 minutes ago, Zariah said:

Getting mad a characters in books when they don't let the bad guy kill the love interest so they can save the kingdom. 

They need to use common sense!! Kingdom > love interest. 

To be honest, Romantics looking at this would probably think where insane lol.

[HelloThere]

36 minutes ago, Zariah said:

Getting mad a characters in books when they don't let the bad guy kill the love interest so they can save the kingdom. 

They need to use common sense!! Kingdom > love interest. 

Or when they randomly kiss in the middle of a fight. Like that one scene in pirates of the Caribbean where they marry as they’re literally fighting two large groups at once. It’s stupid, they both know they’ll live.