Aromantic Moments

[Atypique]

On of my closest friends told they loved me. In a platonic way. I'm so happy-

[Keith]

Two of my friends recently announced that they're dating. And don't get me wrong - I'm really happy for them! It's just that they've known each other for 2 months, so when they told me that they're dating I was like "how did they fall in love with each other so quickly?". Later I told my other friend about my thoughts on it (she knows that I'm aromantic & asexual + they also told her that they're dating), and she laughed at me and said "you know that love at first sight actually exists, and it's not something made up for stories, right?". And then it hit me, that not everyone needs to be in a super close friendship with somone in order to fall in love with them 😱. Unbelievable, if you ask me.

[Collie]

Being publicly out as a lesbian is hard when I'm mostly aromantic. I'm mainly out for "political reasons", so I can speak on issues affecting "same sex attracted" people in the church. I am a lesbian technically, but I identify with being aromantic so much more most of the time. Bein inbetween categories is hard sometimes.

[Acecream]

a friend talked about their work in a group that is doing workshops about queerness in schools. "sometimes students ask about how they know if they are in love." sadly they didn't answer the question, it would have been interesting for me

[Acecream]

Sometimes I wonder why love–stories are about teenagers so often („aren‘t they waaaaay to young for romance or to fall in love???“) 

then I remember that those stories show the allonorm; my confusion is just me being aromantic

[nonmerci]

On 11/22/2022 at 1:28 PM, Acecream said:

a friend talked about their work in a group that is doing workshops about queerness in schools. "sometimes students ask about how they know if they are in love." sadly they didn't answer the question, it would have been interesting for me

If only they answered. But usually you have the answer "when you know, you know".

[Storm_leopardcat]

On 12/22/2022 at 2:16 PM, Acecream said:

Sometimes I wonder why love–stories are about teenagers so often („aren‘t they waaaaay to young for romance or to fall in love???“) 

then I remember that those stories show the allonorm; my confusion is just me being aromantic

Exactly how I feel about it too!

[night_sky_white_clouds]

On 17/04/2016 at 2:05 AM, Confirmed Bachelor said:

When you're really into a character because they have no romantic interest in anyone and they're happy and living their life and then BAM love interest out of nowhere. And you just sit there with your mouth hanging open thinking, "What the hell!"

I can't stress enough how much I can relate to this.

[Isa1116]

Me: Opens a fortune cookie that reads 'your natural charm will attract someone special'.

Mom: *see fortune* Oh wow! Isabelle's gonna get a boyfriend!  (She said it was a joke but it didn't feel like it.)

My brothers who know I'm aroace: 😶

My dad: 🤨

Me: ahahahahaha. No. 😑

This happened like a few weeks ago..

[night_sky_white_clouds]

This is when I was in an identity crisis regarding my aro-ness. My friend recommended me a romantic story, the isekai plot felt interesting, so I picked it up. When I reached halfway through, I couldn't wait to smash my phone into pieces. But I forced myself to read for three reasons: 1. My friend might feel bad, since she doesn't really initiate these type of things most of the time 2. I wanted to know where the plot twist leads the story to and 3. I thought I could find reason for why did I want to smash my phone.

The story was wholesome, ngl. No toxicity. But it felt like an eternity to complete it. I was so frustrated, anxious, bored and confused and more anxious not knowing why was I frustrated and anxious, I even cried. Later I asked my friend what did she like about the story. She said it was so cute, fluffy and wholesome, the main leads' dynamic and relationship made her crave for a similar relationship too.

Then I dared to guess, probably I'm romance-repulsed? I was frustrated probably because I couldn't understand it nor could find any meaning in it? Maybe I'm genuinely an aro....? Haha, the story is such a memorable memory, I don't dare read it again. 

[Atypique]

11 hours ago, Isa1116 said:

Me: Opens a fortune cookie that reads 'your natural charm will attract someone special'.

Mom: *see fortune* Oh wow! Isabelle's gonna get a boyfriend!  (She said it was a joke but it didn't feel like it.)

My brothers who know I'm aroace: 😶

My dad: 🤨

Me: ahahahahaha. No. 😑

This happened like a few weeks ago..

The same happened to me ! I opened fortune cookies with a few friends. I open mine, read it out loud, it's romance-related, I look at my friend, and we all have a big laugh

[Isa1116]

1 minute ago, Atypique said:

we all have a big laugh

Lucky, 😔 mine was just really awkward lol 😅.

[aro_elise]

when a question in a quiz is about what you like in a partner or something and you're like...i can't answer this.  like, i can name qualities i think all humans should have (kindness, honesty, decorum) but even if someone has those and more, i don't want them to be my partner.  or you know the old question "which is more important, looks or personality?"  it's like, for a friend, obviously personality; for a sexual partner, obviously looks.  why are these in the same category?  we often need an 'n/a' option.

[hemogoblin]

Finding astrology fun but feeling absolutely attacked whenever it inevitably focuses on romantic relationships and finding romance =_=

[Mark]

12 hours ago, aro_elise said:

when a question in a quiz is about what you like in a partner or something and you're like...i can't answer this.  like, i can name qualities i think all humans should have (kindness, honesty, decorum) but even if someone has those and more, i don't want them to be my partner.  or you know the old question "which is more important, looks or personality?"  it's like, for a friend, obviously personality; for a sexual partner, obviously looks.  why are these in the same category?  we often need an 'n/a' option.

The first question is an example of complex question fallacy. These are unanswerable when any of the assumed preconditions conditions are false. (These can go unnoticed when these assumptions are commonly true. Contrast "What kind of food do you buy for your pet cat?" against "What kind of food do you buy for your pet capybara?")

The second one is is a false dichotomy, another common fallacy.

[Storm_leopardcat]

16 hours ago, aro_elise said:

when a question in a quiz is about what you like in a partner or something and you're like...i can't answer this. 

What kind of a test/exam has questions about your significant other?

[aro_elise]

58 minutes ago, Storm_leopardcat said:

What kind of a test/exam has questions about your significant other?

quiz, those fun ones, like personality quizzes. 

[Acecream]

participating in queer surveys, being asked about my orientation and there is never ever a question about romantic orientation and barely the option to chose aromanticism as a "sexual orientation" looool

[Storm_leopardcat]

On 1/10/2023 at 11:40 PM, aro_elise said:

quiz, those fun ones, like personality quizzes. 

Oh, how silly of me. I. for some reason, assumed you were referring to school tests/exams. *facepalm*

[Neon]

Some people in a discord I was in were complaining about how they had to cancel valentines plans and it took me 15 minutes to figure out why people have plans on valentines day

[Atypique]

Oh yeah... Like, are you really taking it seriously? You have a partner and you have to do something? Wow... Sucks to be you.

 

On the meantime, in my school we can buy anonymous crush/friendship/love roses for valentine's day... ........ And I buy some love ones for my friends because FRIEND IS NOT LESS LOVE THAN ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP 

[Neon]

2 hours ago, Atypique said:

Oh yeah... Like, are you really taking it seriously? You have a partner and you have to do something? Wow... Sucks to be you.

oh its more embarrassing than that, I just flat out forgot that people date

[milk]

4 hours ago, Neon said:

forgot that people date

I always do this. and then act completely shocked when my friends tell me they or their siblings have partners 

[nonmerci]

So, aro moment yesterday.

With a colleague, we were talking about Hogwarts Mystery, a phone game in HP universe. In this game, there is a point where you can date and have side romantic quest, like going to a ball or your first date. You can chose to date a boy or a girl no matter what your gender is, which is great, but there are not a non-romantic options in these quests, which annoys me as I want to do all the quests, for rewards and also because, I like doing all pf a game when I play. Once, MC even says they are attracted to someone when it was not a romantic side quest, which annoyed me.

SO I explained to my colleague that I just date everyone in the game for the rewards, and that I headcanon my MC as a confused aromantic person who doesn't realize that caring is not the same thing than romantic love, so she dates all her friends. My colleague didn't quite get it but didn't say it out loud.

And the funnier part : we saw an image of the game that show breaking up is possible. My colleague was saying it was so sad, and I was there so excited saying I'm totally doing that. It's hard to see in a text, but the intensity and nature of our reactions were so different, it was fun.

Though I suppose it doesn't happen this way in the game, I will still say that my MC realizes she was aro and then break up with everyone, but stay friends. Yeah !

[Guest Yeehaw]

This took place in elementary school. I, amused by how it made my friends freak out, kissed their hands. I also made one of those crush fortune tellers to feel like I blended in with society’s stereotypes. Every single time I played it with myself, I thought ‘No way, I guess I need to play again.’ It’s safe to say I’m happy calling myself Aromantic :)