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Aromantic Moments


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On 5/12/2021 at 10:15 PM, Elin W said:

 “If it’s so difficult and frustrating - then why do it?” :P 

 

😅

That’s one thing that I don’t think I’ll ever be capable of fully understanding: ‘why don’t you just pick someone else’ or ‘what’s worth all that?’

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On 5/18/2021 at 7:56 AM, Acecream said:

my friend wanted to hear a song which is quite popular at the moment and all I thought was “oh pls not this amatonormative shit again”

I relate to this on so many levels.  The feeling of liking a song, trying to find the lyrics then the sheer disappointment of realising it's about love is so annoying. 

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On 5/18/2021 at 8:46 PM, ScarfOfSexualPreference said:

That’s one thing that I don’t think I’ll ever be capable of fully understanding: ‘why don’t you just pick someone else’ or ‘what’s worth all that?’

That’s also one of the ways I’ve realised that I’m aromantic, after learning about it just a few months ago. Well actually, I did recognized this “incapability” to connect with romantic love before knowing there was a word for it and i was the only one feeling this way but.... 

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I still remember when I watched the titanic for the first time.
It just came to the action part when the crew was realising they had a problem and they were stressed and trying to save the ship and stuff. But just when it started getting interesting THEY CUT TO ROSE AND JACK BEING ROMANTIC.
Oh gosh was I pissed. My favorite characters (the architecture guy and the morse boy) almost got no screentime and they both died in the end :(

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Posted (edited)

2 aromantic moments, one very ironic and one kind of frustrating

the ironic one: I used to play in a improvisational Theater group 1 1/2 years ago. We had this exercise in which we had to play emotions. I got “to be in love”

wekk I had no idea what to do and just acted as if I would be nervous and in a shy way excited to be with the other person I was with... and in the end they told me that I was very good in pretending that I was in love lol

 

the 2nd moment was just a few days ago: I was talking to 2 roommates and the girlfriend of one of them. My 1. roommate talked about how bored she is in her job and that she has nothing to talk about with her colleagues. So the girlfriend of the 2nd roommate recommended to talk about sex (*) and my roommate said that this wouldn’t work bc she doesn’t think that anyone of them (she works together with people around the age of 17/18/19) has even had a serious relationship or something like this. And my 2nd roommates girlfriend just commented how unpleasant this was

Earlier on this evening I almost told her boyfriend about my aromanticism but then I was kind of glad I didn’t 

 

*so this is an asexual moment as well cause the ace in me doesn’t know how sex can be the topic she mentioned first

Edited by Acecream
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On 5/28/2021 at 3:24 PM, Acecream said:

the ironic one: I used to play in a improvisational Theater group 1 1/2 years ago. We had this exercise in which we had to play emotions. I got “to be in love”

wekk I had no idea what to do and just acted as if I would be nervous and in a shy way excited to be with the other person I was with... and in the end they told me that I was very good in pretending that I was in love lol

In my theater class, we all had to play the same romantic text (the point was, we were supposed to tell the text to someone who doesn't looking at us, and the person should turn if they think we tack to them... I'm stil lvery confused about how it works lol). We all do it, and strangely, I was the one who did the best. I think it is because I didn't care about the feeling. I just thought about how people talk when they make a romantic love declaration (the intonations, the breath...), and I imitated it.

(It made me think, in the play we did at the end of the year, I was supposed to kiss a guy on stage but we just faked it. Before the real performance, the guy asked if we could kiss for real on stage. I gave him such a look, he never asked again. The idea just never crossed my mind, except with the desire to NOT do that.)

 

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People keep assuming I either have or want a partner. 

The most recent time was today when I was walking my dog. An old man started making conversation, which was fine, and then out of nowhere, he said "And your husband?"

The weirdest time was at a family gathering a couple years ago. My grandma and her sister made me try on their mother's wedding dress and parade around for our relatives in it. (Apparently they used to make my aunt do this. What a weird tradition!) I was very uncomfortable for several reasons, but the weirdest part was my great-uncles saying things like: "When's the big day?" and "Who's the lucky fellow?" When I told one of them that there was not a "lucky fellow," he offered to "put in a good word" for me at some place where there were apparently lots of nice boys. I said "no thanks." He said "Huh" and stopped talking.

 

 

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On 6/4/2021 at 1:41 AM, Intergalactic Indigo said:

People keep assuming I either have or want a partner. 

The most recent time was today when I was walking my dog. An old man started making conversation, which was fine, and then out of nowhere, he said "And your husband?"

The weirdest time was at a family gathering a couple years ago. My grandma and her sister made me try on their mother's wedding dress and parade around for our relatives in it. (Apparently they used to make my aunt do this. What a weird tradition!) I was very uncomfortable for several reasons, but the weirdest part was my great-uncles saying things like: "When's the big day?" and "Who's the lucky fellow?" When I told one of them that there was not a "lucky fellow," he offered to "put in a good word" for me at some place where there were apparently lots of nice boys. I said "no thanks." He said "Huh" and stopped talking.

 

 

Reminds me of when my aunt asked me: “And you haven’t found one?” (She was talking about a man of course.) 

And the answer came from my heart in a relieved tone of voice: “No seems like I’m better off!” 😅 

And she said very confused and annoyed: “What?!” 

 

The dialogue is even better in my language, Swedish ☺️ 

anyway, it was before I knew about aromanticism, I’ve never been interested in romantic relationships, whenever I was trying to care about it because “you should” it just felt like me trying to press myself into a mold that didn’t fit me. Or like I was trying to make myself feel something I just wasn’t able to feel. When I learnt about aromanticism a few months ago I felt such a relief and I thought about that conversation I had with my aunt - it was just such an aromantic moment! ☺️

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The other day, a friend of my mother came to visit, and the conversation ended up on how both I and my brother have never dated though we are respectively 27 and 31 (I don't know if my brother is aro though). When my parents were complaining that we just seem to not be interested in it, their friend said it was not a problem and that young people today just focus on other things like career.

And I was just there thinking "Go, Madam! Defeat amatomormativity!"

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