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Guest Bluebird

After I figured out that I was aro, we had the sex ed unit in health class. That class is the worst thing for everyone, but it was even worse for me. The lack of mention of lgbt made it soo much worse, and all the videos and textbooks are all like , "everyone wants romantic relationships". But the moment I remember the most is when our teacher asked the class what we liked in a romantic partner and we had to go around the room and answer. When she got to me I just shrugged. She then insisted "you must have something." Once again, I just shrugged. Then we had to write it up on the whiteboard and of course didn't know what to write, a whole mess f il called with anxiety. I wanted to honestly run out of the classroom in that moment. It's moments like that one where you really hate being aro and wish that you could just be like everyone else.

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On 12/23/2020 at 6:17 PM, Guest Bluebird said:

After I figured out that I was aro, we had the sex ed unit in health class. That class is the worst thing for everyone, but it was even worse for me. The lack of mention of lgbt made it soo much worse, and all the videos and textbooks are all like , "everyone wants romantic relationships". But the moment I remember the most is when our teacher asked the class what we liked in a romantic partner and we had to go around the room and answer. When she got to me I just shrugged. She then insisted "you must have something." Once again, I just shrugged. Then we had to write it up on the whiteboard and of course didn't know what to write, a whole mess f il called with anxiety. I wanted to honestly run out of the classroom in that moment. It's moments like that one where you really hate being aro and wish that you could just be like everyone else.

That's sad. They should not do that, in particular now that we know everybody don't want a straight relationship. It forces kids to suffer in silence, or to come out and educate people so to suffer at loud. Not great.

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  • 1 month later...

Again, could be my romance repulsion, but I hat two moments where people might consider someone giving me a letter as a sign of romantic interest. One was at middle school graduation, and it definitely made me very uncomfortable because not only that it’s probably someone crushing on me, it’s from a kid that’s in another class, and my teacher is the one who told me (so that’s awkward as shit and terrifying at the same time oof). I forgot about it soon after though. And then another time was when there was this event that you can give Christmas event cards to friends or people you want to give them to, it’s also to raise funds. I got one from a senior and was weirded out but thought it was just a student council member being nice and donating and giving stuff to us. Some friends made me think otherwise but I figured it really is just for donation because I have zero clue how this person managed to know me let alone get a crush because I don’t have any recollection of meeting this person even in a ‘forced by school event’ kind of thing lol. 
 

Long story short, got two letters, freaked out, got over it.

 

Another story is that a (used to be, now we’re acquaintances for normal friend drifting away stuff) gave me a toy plane once and a few years later my mom told me he had a crush on me. I thought he was just being cool and gave me a nice toy plane that everyone liked to play with at that time. Plus it’s a DIY thing made out of foam and I like those stuff haha.

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For me is was when someone told me that one of my male friends had a crush on me. Such an idea wasn't even on my mind so it came as a big shock. It made me super worried whenever I was around him for years which is too bad because I think we could be good friends otherwise. 

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On 2/17/2021 at 2:06 PM, PeepsInTheChiliPot said:

I figured out I am aro ace around 7 months ago. I’ll get random memories of something that will make so much sense now that I know I’m aro. I feel like I understand my past self so much better. 

This happens to me a lot. I see my past self and begin to wonder how I could have been so dense and not identify my aro moments. I am also glad that my present me is way more accepted of my identity.

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Me, genuinely wondering why people want to choose one person to spend the rest of their life with. Doesn’t it get boring? How can you even like someone that much to where you want to be with them all the time? How can you be sure that you’re not going to end up hating them? What makes them so special? Etc. 

Rather baffling.

(I was thinking all of this before I even knew I’m aro.)

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12 hours ago, Aimee03 said:

Me, genuinely wondering why people want to choose one person to spend the rest of their life with. Doesn’t it get boring? How can you even like someone that much to where you want to be with them all the time? How can you be sure that you’re not going to end up hating them? What makes them so special? Etc. 

Rather baffling.

(I was thinking all of this before I even knew I’m aro.)

When I was a teen I said I doesn't want to work at the same place as my future husband because I would have enough and be tired to see him all day. My friends look at me as if I was crazy and they disagreed because it is great to see their love one everytime.

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Had my first one yesterday. 

Me: I don't want a relationship or marriage. I'm more happy to be friends with someone and have physical contact as well for the rest of my life. 

Friend: Thats not a life 

Me: But it what works for me and what I'm happy with. 

Friend: That's still not a life.

🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️ I changed the subject after 

 

 

 

 

 

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On 2/18/2021 at 8:36 AM, An Aro in the Quiver said:

For me is was when someone told me that one of my male friends had a crush on me. Such an idea wasn't even on my mind so it came as a big shock. It made me super worried whenever I was around him for years which is too bad because I think we could be good friends otherwise. 

something similar happened to me in elementary school! this really nice kid would always go out of his way to say hi to me and was just really friendly and everyone in my family was like "OMG HE HAS A CRUSH ON YOU HOW CUTE!!" and i avoided and was even a little rude to this kid because the whole thing just made me really uncomfortable.. im 22 and still think about how we honestly could have been really good friends :(

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  • 2 weeks later...

It was before I knew aromantic:

During math classes a girl from my school (we were 15 or 16 yo) spoke out loudly: “I want to have a boyfriend”

we were all laughing so I thought, the others found it a funny desire too. At home I told my mother the story (I almost never told her anything from school), but she didn’t understand why I found it funny

Years later it dawned on me that the others might not have laughed, bc she WANTED a BOYFRIEND, but only bc she spoke out loud during maths

On 2/17/2021 at 8:06 PM, PeepsInTheChiliPot said:

I figured out I am aro ace around 7 months ago. I’ll get random memories of something that will make so much sense now that I know I’m aro. I feel like I understand my past self so much better. 

This. I even realised I had a squish

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-Do you have a boyfriend?

-No.

-Do you have a girlfriend? 
-No.

-Do you... like dating? Do you date a lot?

*awkwardly* -No.

-Mmh. So you like being single?
*laughes nervously* -Yes.

-Yeah that can be nice too.

 

i should be more confident sometimes... and just tell people that I’m aromantic.

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A coworker asked if I want to get married so I explained her that I was not attracted to people romantically and sexually...

First she makes this face.

ea6c7b8bfc120ec281eff20d89d5050c.jpg

 

Then she says she never thought it was possible because she always saw this as normal and human (not in a mean way, more like "maybe human don't need that after all").

Then she asked if I had a boyfriend before.

Then she asked about girls.

Then she said maybe it will come when I'll meet the right girl... or boy. (I liked how she added boy later as if I must be a closeted lesbian)

Then she says I'm still young (26 would be pretty old for a first crush in my opinion).

Then she thought I don't want children. (a lot of aros don't but actually I consider adoption)

I explained a bit of course, answering all of this. I thought she gets it.

And then she says...

"There are so many words for sexual deviancy nowadays."

Sexual deviancy.

I don't think she realizes about the real meaning of these words. But my, my mind have to pause for a moment. If I have known I would be call a sexual deviant when I woke up this morning.

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On 3/22/2021 at 4:55 PM, nonmerci said:

"There are so many words for sexual deviancy nowadays."

Sexual deviancy.

I don't think she realizes about the real meaning of these words. But my, my mind have to pause for a moment. If I have known I would be call a sexual deviant when I woke up this morning.

I'm sorry that you had to deal with something like this. Never expected someone would use "deviancy" (!?) for aromanticism-asexuality -- perhaps "abnormality" at worst.

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Usually I don't let things surprise me, but it really took me off guards. It was the first time that I tell him to someone who isn't young so I didn't know how it would go, but I didn't expected that.

I don't think she knew what the word implies (she didn't sound this retarded on these questions and seemed to agree that the diversity help people to know themselves better), but it was still weird.

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11 hours ago, nonmerci said:

Usually I don't let things surprise me, but it really took me off guards. It was the first time that I tell him to someone who isn't young so I didn't know how it would go, but I didn't expected that.

I don't think she knew what the word implies (she didn't sound this retarded on these questions and seemed to agree that the diversity help people to know themselves better), but it was still weird.

I would have been caught off guard too. For me, I would explain the meaning of those words and ask for confirmation that they meant it that way or not. Cuz teaching people about our existence is one thing, but to be called a sexual deviant when trying answer their questions is disrespectful. I would only forgive it if they didn't mean it that way, because we all humans and we make mistakes.

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When my friend says that she really wants to have a boyfriend again and I’m sitting there and have no idea what to say

(and end up in some not-funny jokes)


 

the same friend (she’s dating a lot) tells me a new dating-story almost every time we meet and I never know how to react, but to be honest I enjoy the story’s bc it’s interesting to hear about dating which seems to happen in another world than mine

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On 3/24/2021 at 9:37 PM, Blake said:

I would have been caught off guard too. For me, I would explain the meaning of those words and ask for confirmation that they meant it that way or not. Cuz teaching people about our existence is one thing, but to be called a sexual deviant when trying answer their questions is disrespectful. I would only forgive it if they didn't mean it that way, because we all humans and we make mistakes.

I hesitated but I didn't want to start a fight in public. Instead I just say this is a good thing that people have now words to describe themselves.

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so, in 6th grade I had a friend that kept shipping me with this one kid from my elementary school, literally just because our names started with the same letter, and I had to restrain my self from shoving him when ever he kept whispering the ship name in my ear.

Also, one time he said something about the ship, and then he said something about, like a romantic desert island and something like “all you’d need is a house and a bed” i literally wanted to punch him in the face.

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On 3/29/2021 at 5:25 PM, HumanBeing26 said:

like a romantic desert island

???

I have never got that idea of being in a romantic relationship meaning closing yourself off from other relationships but even then, that is extreme wierd. 

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Apropos islands and shipping: In December there was this story of the Jet Ski Romeo, a 28-year old from the UK. He bought a jet ski, towed it 70 miles to the Scottish coast and traveled four hours across the rough Irish Sea to the Isle of Man.... to get around coronavirus restrictions and see his girlfriend there.

I thought this was a behavior that was even for romantic standards extraordinarily bizarre.

Aromantic moment: in my naivity I told this story a few people as an example of utter craziness but the attitude was "But noooo, that's not wrong", "She should marry him", "Awww that's so romantic ❤️".

🙄

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4 hours ago, DeltaV said:

In December there was this story of the Jet Ski Romeo, a 28-year old from the UK. He bought a jet ski, towed it 70 miles to the Scottish coast and traveled four hours across the rough Irish Sea to the Isle of Man.... to get around coronavirus restrictions and see his girlfriend there.

Omgs that reminds me of my ex. She used an example of some chick who like broke out of prison to see her bf, and said that if I truly loved her I’d do the same to see her (my mom didn’t like her and didn’t let me see her very often at all). Every time she said that I’d just be like “ahaha no I’m not doing that for anybody that’s insane” which I still stand by, her friends thought it was sweet that somebody broke out of prison and killed people for her bf when I was just?? Confused like?? Way to get a life sentence and never see him ever again?? Idk it always confused me and that probably should’ve been a flag that I don’t view/experience romance the same way lol

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When I read fanfiction and always check the pairings (if any) first. Wouldn't be the first time I was blindsided by two characters becoming a couple where I was until that moment happily getting sucked into their awesome friendship.

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