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Aromantic Moments

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On 11/29/2019 at 5:12 PM, nonmerci said:

Once, I also solved a love triangle with my character realizing that none of his love relationships was healthy and rejecting both girls.

Sounds like the perfect end to a love triangle ūüĎĆ

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When you're trying to find a single Webtoon without some sort of romance as the main focus or the entire fanbase being based around characters being attractive because your allo friends want you to read Webtoons but you don't like the plot of any of the ones they like. 

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37 minutes ago, pigeonhead said:

When you're trying to find a single Webtoon without some sort of romance as the main focus or the entire fanbase being based around characters being attractive because your allo friends want you to read Webtoons but you don't like the plot of any of the ones they like. 

I can recommend you Tower of God. My fave webtoon. It has some amount of romance between the main character and someone else but it not a romantic lovely doey, it is more platonic (for me it is platonic). Also action and fantasy are what drive the plot, not romance. Also, not spoiling a lot of the plot, but the main character isn't dumb and knows that his feelings aren't reciprocated so there is hope for the main character.

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We had this group circle in my high school and we were talking about LGBTQ+ and there was this sheet we had to fill out with bars of sexual and romantic attraction, like a slider, cuz it's a spectrum.

Anyway, I still wasn't sure about anything yet so I said 100% female and left everything else blank.

And that's probably the most aroace thing I've done

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Posted (edited)

I  once met a new woman in the anarchist squat scene and we had several nice conversations about politics, sociology and stuffs with some friends. Once she said that she liked those conversations and that we should talk like that again some times.

Then at a party she asked my number saying that she "would like to know me better" and that it would be nice if I called her to meet once.

At that time, obviously, I thought it was to discuss about politics and stuffs.

So, I called her two days latter, and I found her quite weird, as she seem strangelly overenthousiastic about my call. We set an appointment at an anarchist canteen I'm part of and that was near her workplace.

At that point I thought about the weird conversation again and concluded that there was 4 possible thing that could explain this situation (in order of probability and interest to me) :

  1. She is likes me and would like to be friend with me
  2. She trusts me and would like to discuss about an affinity secret project
  3. She likes me and would like to date me
  4. She is an undercover cop and want to extract informations from me

It turns out that she couldn't come finally but we met during a demonstration a few days latter. She was kinda weird and laughed a lot when we started to talk. Then after we exchanged a few words, seemingly out of the blue she said that she wanted to let me know that she was polyamorous, like if this was very important to tell me that at this moment.

    Hummm...

    Option 3 it is then

    Crap...

Then I said I was aromantic and she asked what that means because she was romantically interested in me. I explained and apologized to have misunderstood her. Then she said we should talk about this some other time and went to see a friend of her. We never actually talked about it later.

Fun fact, this is the only person I'm 100% sure that they were interested in me romantically and/or sexually even if I'm in the second half of my 20's. Why aren't people more explicit about that kind of stuffs with me, O.o. It's so confusing.

_______________

On 4/9/2020 at 12:45 PM, Witch18 said:

My sister and I tried watching the Vampire Diaries and I just I couldn’t finish it. I came for the fantasy and I left for the romance.

Same for me. I loved the Originals though.

 

Edited by John Rando
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On 5/15/2020 at 11:53 AM, ScarfOfSexualPreference said:

We had this group circle in my high school and we were talking about LGBTQ+ and there was this sheet we had to fill out with bars of sexual and romantic attraction, like a slider, cuz it's a spectrum.

Anyway, I still wasn't sure about anything yet so I said 100% female and left everything else blank.

Sorry, I'm a bit confused. What do you mean by "100% female"? That part kind of eluded me.

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1 hour ago, The Angel of Eternity said:

Sorry, I'm a bit confused. What do you mean by "100% female"? That part kind of eluded me.

image.png.fa4f9fa62d0fb7c47f798699a3af9f3a.png

This was the thing we did. You'd make a mark on the slider. I think the idea was that it was a spectrum like romantic attraction and sexual attraction. 

I just put a mark all the way on feminine for the top row and left the bottom row blank, bc at the time I had no clue.

The group leader also said that she wasn't really sure what the difference was between romantic and sexual attraction, and I, still having no clue what I was talking about, said that I "liked the look of boys but I'd rather marry a girl because they're easier to be friends with." Our leader just gave me a weird look.

Looking back, this was probably the most aro thing I'd done.

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My sleep deprived mind has just thought of something hilarious

this was pre knowing ace and aro existed

I was 21 at the time, had gone away on a holiday with small group from a university society and they were predrinking and i was just hanging out with them till they went out and I went to my room.

playing have you ever with fingers counting down - needless to say a bunch of uni students against and aroace I really won that with the topics they were saying.

I said never had I kissed anyone, at the time I was very proud of myself for not giving into peer pressure and doing the norm like everyone else, not realising of course that most people are actually attracted to people.

looking back I feel like they probably thought I was insanely weird, although they never said anything about it which was quite nice of them as at the time it would have been really confusing to me

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I'm currently playing a bard in my dnd campaign and he's busy with, you know, trying to save the world, so there's not a single thought in my mind to ever flirt with anyone. But then I was told that it's common knowledge the bard is "supposed to" seduce everyone and I was like "ooohhh.....yeah, I don't want to do that". We ended up having a heated discussion about it where I said that I've never flirted with anyone in my whole life and I'm not about to start now, and these people retorted that dnd is my "chance to do that"! As if everyone obviously has some deeply rooted want for romance even when they have explicitly told you about their aromanticism. 

Another Aromantic Moment(tm) was when my character ended up under a spell so that everyone was super attracted to him and I was so uncomfortable. I knew that they were just roleplaying attraction to a character that's not even me but god did I want it to end. I have no idea how to deal with that and it just sort of made me realise how different I am. Like, what would I have done if someone else had gotten the spell put on them? I wouldn't be able to continue acting like normal without feeling really put on the spot and having to start a conversation about how my character is aroace even though I never told the DM about that because it never struck me as something relevant! 

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My first boyfriend was a guy from my work that I thought was both cool and hot (I later learned he was only one of those things.) We kept our relationship mostly under wraps, but a few other coworkers knew and we'd gossip about it all the time. One time, one of them asked me "so do you see yourself marrying him?" and I went "Oh GOD no, no, never" without thinking. It took her completely by surprise, lol

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On 7/11/2020 at 7:39 AM, Oatpunk said:

I'm currently playing a bard in my dnd campaign and he's busy with, you know, trying to save the world, so there's not a single thought in my mind to ever flirt with anyone. But then I was told that it's common knowledge the bard is "supposed to" seduce everyone and I was like "ooohhh.....yeah, I don't want to do that". We ended up having a heated discussion about it where I said that I've never flirted with anyone in my whole life and I'm not about to start now, and these people retorted that dnd is my "chance to do that"! As if everyone obviously has some deeply rooted want for romance even when they have explicitly told you about their aromanticism. 

Another Aromantic Moment(tm) was when my character ended up under a spell so that everyone was super attracted to him and I was so uncomfortable. I knew that they were just roleplaying attraction to a character that's not even me but god did I want it to end. I have no idea how to deal with that and it just sort of made me realise how different I am. Like, what would I have done if someone else had gotten the spell put on them? I wouldn't be able to continue acting like normal without feeling really put on the spot and having to start a conversation about how my character is aroace even though I never told the DM about that because it never struck me as something relevant! 

Yesssss.   I guess I just assume that everyone in my RPG group knows that all my DnD characters are aroace because I am and my friends know that.  But then my best friend who has just started DMing a new game was like "Oh your character WILL be flirted with at some point, FYI" and I kind of tried to hint that I didn't want that, but she was like "Ok, but that's just how the world is."   And my other friend is playing a bard and he IS going for the stereotypical flirty-bard angle and while I shut his character down immediately, it was still somewhat uncomfortable. 

I am still working on getting up the courage to point out that DnD is supposed to be an escape from reality and that it's supposed to be a space where I feel safe from have to deal with that sort of thing...¬† ūüėě I feel your pain @Oatpunk.

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1 hour ago, starstuff said:

Yesssss.   I guess I just assume that everyone in my RPG group knows that all my DnD characters are aroace because I am and my friends know that.  But then my best friend who has just started DMing a new game was like "Oh your character WILL be flirted with at some point, FYI" and I kind of tried to hint that I didn't want that, but she was like "Ok, but that's just how the world is."   And my other friend is playing a bard and he IS going for the stereotypical flirty-bard angle and while I shut his character down immediately, it was still somewhat uncomfortable. 

I am still working on getting up the courage to point out that DnD is supposed to be an escape from reality and that it's supposed to be a space where I feel safe from have to deal with that sort of thing...¬† ūüėě I feel your pain @Oatpunk.

"That's just how the world is".... god, people just don't have any respect for us, huh? What's the point of playing a game if we're just forced into the same shitty reality we're already living? I'm sending strength for you to talk to them about it! 

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3 hours ago, Oatpunk said:

"That's just how the world is".... god, people just don't have any respect for us, huh? What's the point of playing a game if we're just forced into the same shitty reality we're already living? I'm sending strength for you to talk to them about it! 

Thank you for your sending over some support!!!!   I think I'm always so wishy-washy about talking to people about his stuff because I've never met another aro person in real life and have never had that understanding and validation.  I know my friends do try, but they just don't GET it.

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On 7/11/2020 at 12:39 PM, Oatpunk said:

I'm currently playing a bard in my dnd campaign and he's busy with, you know, trying to save the world, so there's not a single thought in my mind to ever flirt with anyone. But then I was told that it's common knowledge the bard is "supposed to" seduce everyone and I was like "ooohhh.....yeah, I don't want to do that".

Whilst this is something of a Bard stereotype it's not, at least IME, that common. In settings such as Barovia it's unliklely to be of much use at all.
D&D have a specific seduction mechanic. Most common would be to use Persuasion, sometimes Performance. Other Charisma based characters such as Paladin, Sorcerer or Warlock can also easily have a high Persuasion modifier. Persuasion can also be used to rebuff another character's interest. Similarly for Intimidation, which is also Charisma based.
Something I find more obviously indirectly arophobic in D&D is the Marriage option.
 

On 7/11/2020 at 12:39 PM, Oatpunk said:

Another Aromantic Moment(tm) was when my character ended up under a spell so that everyone was super attracted to him and I was so uncomfortable. I knew that they were just roleplaying attraction to a character that's not even me but god did I want it to end.

Spells which, directly, change the behaviour of other player characters can easily result in Player Vs Player (PVP) situations. A possible counter to this would the Calm Emotions spell.

On 7/14/2020 at 7:25 PM, starstuff said:

Yesssss.   I guess I just assume that everyone in my RPG group knows that all my DnD characters are aroace because I am and my friends know that.  But then my best friend who has just started DMing a new game was like "Oh your character WILL be flirted with at some point, FYI" and I kind of tried to hint that I didn't want that, but she was like "Ok, but that's just how the world is."

One option is for your character to treat that as an attack.
Though DMs should respect players' limits.

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Posted (edited)

When you watch movies with ambiguous relationships and always assume the characters are best friends instead of lovers. 

When you accidentally offend an entire forum by posting a thread titled "Romantic Love Doesn't Exist" and are shocked by how personally attacked people feel by this thread. [I just meant that limerence is limerence...it's not love.]

When someone posts a picture on facebook of an old couple holding hands with the caption, "Aw how cute" and you're really surprised and confused by this. 

When love stories usually have no appeal unless there's a really good non-romantic plot also happening and cool characters. 

[If anything, I'm greyromantic, but still v platonically-oriented and these are some of my experiences.]

Edited by Planet

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Recenty I told my younger cousin a joke a friend of mine told me, when my cousin retold it at dinner it had apparently became my girlfriend who told that story.

like no, how did that happen? I was genuinely confused how my description had given the impression of romance to him.

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