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So I got asked out last year by this person and I was really excited about it. They ended up being an asshole and we had to end the relationship before we even went out on a date. However, whenever I was around them, I don’t remember feeling any of the physical feelings associated with being in love (heart pounding really fast, butterflies in your stomach) and I didn’t think about them all the time. I’m wondering if squishes can be this powerful. I did have a desire to go on a date them and kiss them and everything but honestly I think that’s not because I like this person and more because I felt that I wanted to be in a relationship with someone because without someone as a partner I felt alone and unwanted and now I felt like I wasn’t alone and unwanted anymore????? Idk??? Someone help me?????

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if you don't feel romantic attraction then you're certainly on the aro spectrum, even though you desire "romantic acts". there are some aromantic and aro-spec people who are/want to be in a romantic relationship, even without feeling romantic attraction. there are some subsets on the aromantic spectrum that may be suitable for you, such as cupioromantic or bellusromantic.

there are also other types of attraction and relationships besides romantic. if you're interessed in researching in depth, here you can find some terms that could be useful for you

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