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RoboticHumanoid

thinking about marriage and weddings when young

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i keep coming that idea or maybe stereotype that kids, especially girls would plan their weddings when young. i don't remember ever doing that when i was a little kid that others saw as a girl. how common is that experience? And, when I've been thinking about marriage, it's the practical aspect which  probably is because I'm aro (tho it doesn't necessarily apply to all aro or arospec peeps).

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I mean, I definitely didn't with the exception of deciding that if someone wanted me to change my last name, I just wouldn't marry them...

I don't even consider other people's weddings, including my parents. The one time I thought about that was when we found their album. 

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I was bombarded as a kid with marriage. My parents, uncles, and family in general always wanted me to marry and have kids. As an amab (assigned male at birth), I guess it is not that common into planting the idea of weddings as a kid. Truth be told, I only wanted to marry until my 10 years, after that, when I started thinking by myself and having my own opinion, that idea crumbled fast. <10 years old me, family basically wanted me to marry and put the idea into my mind. >10 years old me, I did not like the idea and went directly against it fervently. My family still wants me to marry, but I won't do it. Sooner or later they will resign to the idea and they will accept that no marriage nor grand-kids from my part.

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I thought about having kids (I wanted three, two girls and a boy), but funny enough, I never thought about marriage (and even less about the husband... except maybe to think about genetics, like "he should have blue eyes and red hair because I like blue eyes end red hair so it will be nice if my chilldren get a chance to have them too").

Later I sometimes thought about the dress, the cake and the meal for the wedding, but that's it. And that's because the dresses are cool and I love to eat, not because I actually wanted a husband (which was completely absent).

 

Edited by nonmerci
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I never dreamt of marriage, for me it was just a thing that inevitably happens to any person, and even if I thought about it, it was very impersonal; it was never about how I would feel during that moment, just that I wouldn't want to change my last name if I get married (too much paperwork), and that I'd want my husband to be tall because it'd be nice if our kids got that from him. Though around the age of ten I began saying that I'd be happier if I lived with my friend and a couple of cats than if I got married, and I still see this as my ideal future :D

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I never planned my wedding as a kid. I only started to think about it when I was in college and that was more the party aspect of it like food. 

18 hours ago, nonmerci said:

I thought about having kids (I wanted three, two girls and a boy), but funny enough, I never thought about marriage (and even less about the husband... except maybe to think about genetics, like "he should have blue eyes and red hair because I like blue eyes end red hair so it will be nice if my chilldren get a chance to have them too").

 

I also thought about having kids without giving much thought to a husband. Then I learned I didn’t have to have a husband to have kids! I’ve now been planning on adopting for a while.

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I may adopt someday too. Sadly I think it is harder for a single woman (at least I'm not a single man, I'm pretty sure it is even harder).

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When I was in my "Say Yes To The Dress" phase in middle school I would image my dress, the cake, the decorations, the venue... never the spouse to be, he was always missing ... really should have been a sign of being aromantic in hindsight, but oh well.  

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I can’t recall ever mentally planning a wedding, I really just assumed I’d have one because “everyone gets married” so of course I would eventually. But it wasn’t never really something I thought about.

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I don't ever recall planning my wedding as a kid. Maybe acting out a wedding,  when playing with dolls, but this is probably more of kid me coping what I saw in movies or tv.

Kids were always a maybe for me, but even back then, I was positive I would adopt. I never understood the need to have kids biologically, when there are so many out there,  that can be loved just as much, looking for a family. 

As for the "husband", never really visuals one. If asked I would say a nice man, but this was back when I assumed I would cross the bridge some day, because that was the "norm".

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When young I have never thought about marriage and family. I was never big on dolls and babies.

Marriage is the thing that I would consider last, after lover and even children.

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