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Anyone else feeling lonely but on a platonic level?


LaReine
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I mean, I don't even understand relationships and even less the concept of romance at all. 

But anyone else feeling lonely on a platonic level? 

I don't have much friends and I never feel like I can talk to the few I have. Moreover, I'm shit at making new friends and especially forming lasting friendships (mostly because I'm a social and emotional disaster who tends to push people away as soon as I get emotionally attached to them). 

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Absolutely, i'm incredibly grateful for my friends but i'm so bad at maintaining friendships and we're all finishing school next year:(( Just kinda sucks bc I have difficulty approaching people I want to talk to and will probably lose my existing friends rip

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  • 1 month later...
  • 1 month later...
11 minutes ago, Confused Artist said:

I'm almost always lonely. I'm not really sure why, but it even happens when I'm with other people. It's kinda weird...

Same and I zone out but then I remember: these people care and if they don't then they should leave. I refocus on the present and be present.

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I've been good at contacting friends recently, but in catching up I compare my life to theirs and I feel shame because I think I haven't achieved anything worthwhile. Which is some sort of internal desolate wasteland.....which make me feel lonelier when I'm with my friends.... So, completely not what you asked! 

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I just really want a good hug but I'm not close enough with anyone I know to be super close to them that way...

Plus, like a lot of other people on this thread, I'm so awful at being vulnerable so I just end up being the mom or therapist friend and can't return that kind of friendship. 

kinda sucks. 

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Yep. Besides the pandemic not letting me hug any human, all my friends are now getting jobs and continuing studying and are separated. We hang out once per week via internet to catch up but I really miss them and would love to get a group hug to not feel alone. Since I am the only one not in a relationship, I fear they may slowly drift apart and cut me up, maybe is my anxiety and depression but that feeling is there 24/7 now.

Edited by Blake
Mispelled a word or two
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Yes, I haven't seen most of my friends in person since last February. Video chats just aren't the same. The couple I have occasionally seen it has been for 2m distanced walks, which isn't exactly companionable. I miss them, and I'm feeling lonely.

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 2/14/2021 at 3:48 PM, Sam Spade said:

Yes, I only had a few friends, and they moved away. I'm always the one who reaches out which makes me wonder if anyone actually likes hanging out with me...

Omg same! I mean, not with all of my friends, not all the time but, when it does happen that they reach out first, usually they need information or just want to make sure I'm ok haha

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I feel that way a lot. I have one very good best friend but don't see her as much as before the pandemic and am alone a lot more of the time.

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  • 3 weeks later...
On 2/13/2021 at 2:48 AM, Spark_TheDemiboyRat said:

I'm almost always lonely. I'm not really sure why, but it even happens when I'm with other people. It's kinda weird...

Sometimes I even feel more lonely when I am with other people/friends. Everyone around me is getting happier and happier while I’m feeling sadder and sadder... and I don’t know why bc we actually do have a good time.

Or when I had a nice evening with friends and I’m cycling home... then I sometimes feel like the loneliest human on this planet although I was surrounded by friends minutes before.

(all during non-COVID times)

On 2/19/2021 at 8:30 AM, Rolo said:

Yes, I haven't seen most of my friends in person since last February. Video chats just aren't the same. The couple I have occasionally seen it has been for 2m distanced walks, which isn't exactly companionable. I miss them, and I'm feeling lonely.

This. We met via zoom a few weeks ago and after like five minutes I had to leave the call and started to cry bc it were just too many emotions and I remembered how much I missed them which I couldn’t handle.

Edited by Acecream
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Yes... Its been a hard year. I am very good a keeping friends. I reach out to them and they reach out to me. 

But over the last year everything started to feel shallow since chatting and discord talks took over. I hate that, I just feel disconnected from them and I need that emotional bond. People started to keep things to them selfes and I noticed that from me too. Normaly I don't mind sharing my feelings but recently I feel bad oversharing maybe because they stopped doing it too. 

I feel lonely even while not alone. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

At the moment I have the feeling as if this situation (being isolated from friends during COVID) would remain my entire life... that this is how I’ll feel for the rest of my life while everyone around me starts relationships and families.

The hardest thing is that I have no idea who I can talk to while feeling so

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On 3/29/2021 at 1:46 AM, Acecream said:

At the moment I have the feeling as if this situation (being isolated from friends during COVID) would remain my entire life... that this is how I’ll feel for the rest of my life while everyone around me starts relationships and families.

I feel the same way. My friends have been drifting apart during the pandemic, and I worry that once we can see each other again, they'll all rush back to their romantic relationships and I'll be left behind. 

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I generally don't see myself as feeling lonely, but lately with my current situation, along with the world's current social situation, I'm finding that I'm missing the feeling of having close friends. I've been in constant touch with a few of my best friends from college, which has been really nice. But I feel like I need a new connection. Someone to bond with and learn about and chat about weird and crazy things with. So the answer is yes.

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  • 1 month later...

I have always kinda struggled to make and maintain friends. Before the pandemic I had resigned myself to trying to make more friends. I was already feeling a bit lonely having realized a lot of my friends had drifted apart since I graduated college a few years ago. Coming to the realization I am aroace during the pandemic has been a bit of a complicating factor. It feels like I have these new lenses to see the world through and try to create the kinds of relationships I do want, but I can't really test them out. I relate to a lot of the comments here.  

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Things are slowly getting back to something approaching normal in the UK and I am slowly starting to see a few friends in person for the first time in ages. It really made me realise how lonely I was before but just getting through because there was no other choice.

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I usually don't feel this way, but recently it's really been hitting hard. I've been feeling like I can't talk to any of my friends/soon-to-be friends because it feels like a lot of them have started having romantic feelings for me. It's kinda sucky because it directly related to the timeline of me figuring out my arospec identity, so then I feel like I can't talk about that specifically because what if they're only staying friends with me because they want to date me? But despite how uncomfortable I am with that thought, I value our friendship too much to possibly lose it over something like that... It's becoming a very vicious cycle honestly, I just need to figure out what to do about it lol

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I've felt this way for like nearly all my life, I always had a strong desire to make close friends with other people. I guess you could say that I'm always developing squishes (yes, I know that almost no one uses that term but I'm gonna change that). Recently, I have been struggling to make friends with people who tell me that they wanna be friends, the chat always dies, usually with me being the last person who has said anything 😐 but anyways- feel free to reach out to me, I always try my best :]

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