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Queerplatonic Attraction


arohoneybee
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I’ve been queerplatonically attracted to my friend for about a year now. When we don’t talk much, it’s easy to ignore, but I really would love a future with her.

The problem is, she’s straight and I know for a fact she wants to get married and have kids and such. I obviously will support her in that, and she is clearly in no way obligated to form any sort of relationship with me.

However, does anyone have any advice for getting over a plush (queerplatonic crush)? It’s been pretty rough.

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I personally suggest u shoot ur shot. Often, a person's queerplatonic orientation and sexual orientation are different; my zucchini is a gay guy, but he likes me (a girl) queerplatonically. 

Smth i learned was that, often, especially if ur person has their own feelings/future plans/level of familiarity w queerplatonic relationship, it's better to outline your feelings and desires directly. Like, saying "i'm queerplatonically attracted to u" might confuse her, but saying "i feel extremely drawn to you, these are my feelings, and i often wish we could do xyz" is more likely to make sense and help u find similar desires. Maybe she also wants to spend the rest of her life with you, or maybe she also wants to hold your hand platonically!

About the straight thing lol: it's likely that, even if y'all have similar feelings and want a platonic commitment, she will still want to date other people romantically/sexually. Basically, polyamory. How would u feel about this? Some folks are fine with it, others aren't comfortable or happy with that. 

This sounds kinda nerve-wracking and difficult :// I hope it works out!

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