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neth

not a question: just an experience

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I can assume we all feel a disconnection from the way people around us do interpersonal relations. I have realized something that feels profound to me and I want to share it. I have realized I cannot do romance (that's a given) but more importantly I also cannot do friendship. 

What I mean by that, is that in the way in which alloro's experience their intimacy esculator from acquaintance to friend to romance to family etc. I would say that in comparison to alloros, I treat my aquaintances more like friends and my friends more like romantic partners. I have noticed this ends up disappointing many of my aquainatances who believe we are friends until they realize thats how I treat everyone. It also leaves me vunerable to my friends who treats me more like I would an acquaintance. Which in turn leaves me upset, disappointed, and isolated. This disconnection has made me realize I simply cannot do interpersonal relations the same way as my peers in my environment. 

So I have since thrown out this model (or at least revised it to the point its unrecognizable). I have decided to tell the next person who wants to come into my personal life exactly what I want and need in order to communicate past the disconnection. I don't know if alloros will be able to grasp what I say but the most I can do is speak and wait for someone to listen. 

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On 10/14/2020 at 6:00 PM, neth said:I would say that in comparison to alloros, I treat my aquaintances more like friends and my friends more like romantic partners. I have noticed this ends up disappointing many of my aquainatances who believe we are friends until they realize thats how I treat everyone. It also leaves me vunerable to my friends who treats me more like I would an acquaintance.

wow you actually put it into words. i honestly didn’t think anyone else felt like this. i adore the way you phrased this, especially the last paragraph. i really needed to hear this. thank you for this post ❤️

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On 10/14/2020 at 4:00 PM, neth said:

I would say that in comparison to alloros, I treat my aquaintances more like friends and my friends more like romantic partners. I have noticed this ends up disappointing many of my aquainatances who believe we are friends until they realize thats how I treat everyone. It also leaves me vunerable to my friends who treats me more like I would an acquaintance. Which in turn leaves me upset, disappointed, and isolated. This disconnection has made me realize I simply cannot do interpersonal relations the same way as my peers in my environment.

This... this explains so much. I have been internally explaining it by placing people into categories with complicated descriptions, but this makes way more sense! It also explains just so many past interactions.

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