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Tama

Hey there! I'm new.

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By new I mean I literally started identifying as Aro three days ago lol. So hi. I'm Tama. I thought I just didn't meet anyone who I would have a crush on (does that make sense?). And then I started considering if I actually don't feel romantic emotions. Stumbled upon asexuality and thought that also included aromanticism for a while, and then found Aromanticism. I was in denial for a few months, but then everything clicked. Anything I should know about the community? Pretend that I don't know anything except that aromantic people don't feel romantic emotions.

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Hey! Welcome to the forum, and welcome to the aro community! We're all happy to have you :)

Hmm, let's see. You're right on the money with separating asexuality and aromanticism-- I'm aromantic but allosexual, aroallo! (Being one but not the other kind of makes it hard to pin down, lol.) There are also a whole list of other non-standard (non-alloromantic) romantic labels out there, if you're interested in pinning your identity down even further. This is a good list of them-- some of them mirror sexuality terms such as demisexual --> demiromantic, and some of them are unique to romanticicm. The possibilities are endless. (In case it's a lot and you find yourself confused, "grey-romantic" or "grey-ro" is a helpful catch-all term for "I'm some form of aromantic, and I'm not sure which one yet.") 

I don't personally feel the need to label myself beyond "aromantic." I totally get why microlabels like that can help people find peace with themselves and find a likeminded community-- and it's also not really the thing for me. I like being a little fluid with my label and letting it have room to breathe and change if it needs. Label yourself however you feel most comfortable! 

Hm, what else-- it's easy to feel conflicted about the media you consume! A lot of aros experience romance repulsion both in media and in real life- you see this a lot in aro memes on reddit. This might be true of you, and this might not be. For instance, in real life I have a pretty strong aversion to most stereotypical romantic things. And I also really like trashy romance novels! I don't like unnecessary romance subplots in my movies/shows, and I can still find them engaging if they're written in a way I can connect to. It's all up in the air-- you can like to read about/watch/etc whatever you like! Your aromanticism is only dependent on what you want with your own life and your own relationships. 

There's so much other stuff, but off the bat that's some stuff I think I'd have found helpful to know at the start of my aro identity journey. The discussion boards are also great for this stuff, you can always just post a question or a rant about something and folks will jump on the thread and start talking. Everyone I've met on here so far has been very nice :) Hope to catch you around the forums!

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Welcome to the forums! Have some complementary aro ice cream: :aroicecream:

The identity journey, especially when considering aromanticism, can be wild and confusing, but there's a lot you can learn from poking about on these forums and chatting with others. It's nice to see your enthusiastic spirit. :) Everything said by @Queasy_Attention is also great. I'll add on to say that some aromantic people do feel romantic emotions but still call themselves aro because it's the closest or best label for their experiences. Emotions are really complicated and it's hard to fit perfectly into a box sometimes.

Other than that, my advice is to take things slow! There's a lot of info out there and I know even I am still learning every day. It's kind of fun that way, though.

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hi

I think pretty much everything I would say has already been covered. One thing I would add though is that there is not really a complete agreement on what people see as a romantic action. So sometimes I look at people's ideas on here of how they would like to live with best friends and what they would do together and I would think of that as too romantic for my liking, but they might not see any of those actions as necessarily associated with romance. This is fine.

 

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