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Holmbo

How to deepen friendships?

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Anyone up for a general discussion on how to grow deeper friendships. What qualifies as a deep friendship to you and is it something you desire? Do you have it currently with anyone? Any advice for people on how to get their with their friends?

 

I'll post my own musings in the comments but I didn't want to make a post just about myself so feel free to add your own examples or questions.

 

Edited by Holmbo

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If you can be in the same room doing separate things without feeling weird about it, that's a pretty deep friendship.

I also think that having full trust in them is a big identifier too.

I'm still working on my friendships right now, but we're getting there :) 

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To me a deep friendship is one where I would commit rather serious crimes for them, no questions asked(I haven't though). Normally, I could live with or without this, and I have experience to back it up. However, now, I am in a weird place where I want to be around my friends and also not be around anyone. Right now, I am in a few really close friendships. These all came about naturally to me, and I think that deep friendships just need time, there is no way to force it or speed it up.

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I'm not sure I have any deep friendships. I have two friends which I've known all my life. Because of our history, our friendship feel more important to me but I don't feel like I can share everything with them. Not that I don't trust them but cause they don't understand sometines, we are very different people.

Edited by Holmbo
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I think what I would like from a deep friendship is the ability to drop in and out of each others lives and still seem as though we were picking up right where we left off. I have had one friendship I consider deep, a friend of mine who I knew from primary school, then moved country when I was about 9. Once when I went on holiday there we visited and it was as if we had never left. This was at an age where I didn't have my own phone, so while our parents had stayed somewhat in touch I had literally not said a word to him in over 3 years, but we still talked as if we had never left.

When his family moved back to the UK he joined the same secondary school as me and again, despite barely a word between us for years we instantly clicked. By the end of the day we were making plans for a barbecue at mine and inviting some of my other friends round.

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The thing for me that breaks the ice most of all is a passionately shared interest, and a minimum level of trust. Most people however have to wait some time and persist in showing they're to be trusted before I open up to them. The problem is, they might not be able to shut me up if they manage to get me talking. 😸 That is pretty much needed for deepening relationships too.

Edited by SkyTuneRein
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I think for me a deep friendship is one built on dependability and trust. I have a few friends who I LIKE well enough, but I wouldn't feel right talking about certain topics, while I have a very small group of friends (weirdly they don't all know each other that well, except two who I've been friends with for the longest) who I can talk to about anything, and consider them family. Also I think deep friendships happen when you truly *know* each other. Not in a "I've interrogated this person and can recite everything that has ever happened to them" but like "you don't type like that, is everything okay or has someone stolen your phone" or "you made that one face you always make when you're upset. Talk or I will make bad jokes until you give in", you know?

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