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aeq

New and confused

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Hey everyone!

I recently came to the realization that I might be aromantic. This is all very confusing for me, but would also be a big relief if it’s actually the case!

The only relationship I’ve had only lasted 1 month, and after that I wasn‘t interested in these things at all. I have never been in love with a person, and romance does nothing to me. I don’t see myself in a romantic relationship in the future - or even being married to someone. The thing is, I’ve done some research and saw that a lot of aromantics are also asexual. I’m definitely not asexual, but i’m not too sure about being aromantic. How would I know for sure that I am aromantic? And should I come out?
 

Thank you for taking your time to read this! Any advice would be very much appreciated! 

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Hiya and Welcome!

To be aromantic does not equal being asexual and to be asexual does not equal being aromantic, although one can be both. In my case, I am aromantic and heterosexual. It is possible that you can be aromantic and allosexual (allo meaning you feel that type of attraction, in this case feeling sexual attraction), but this is something that you have to decide for yourself.

Similarly, each person experiences aromanticism differently and only you can decide if you are aromantic or not. Maybe have a look at the FAQ pages if you have not already. https://www.aromanticism.org/en/faq While not everyone subscribes to/ uses a label, they can be helpful when you are trying to figure yourself out. I know it was helpful for me when I was trying to figure myself out.

As far as coming out goes, do what you feel is comfortable. You do not have to come out if you don't want to or if you feel it would not be well received or if it might be unsafe to do so. You do what is right for you.

I wish you the best of luck finding yourself and hope you find happiness in what ever you do. 💚

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Thank you so so much, this means a lot to me! I’ll definitely check out the Faq pages and hopefully find more about myself! ❤️

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8 hours ago, aeq said:

How would I know for sure that I am aromantic? And should I come out?

Honestly, I still don't know for sure whether I'm aromantic, but I've decided to label myself as such until proven different. I would just look at your past to try and figure it out. I just went back and thought, did I ever like someone enough to date them? Have I ever felt like I don't want to date or have other things I would rather do? That's what helped me. As for coming out, it's totally up to you. I'm out to my sisters and my school, but not to my parents. I don't ever plan on coming out to them either. Do what feels right to you :)

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Guest Person
On ‎7‎/‎22‎/‎2020 at 4:52 PM, Kat/Katya said:

Honestly, I still don't know for sure whether I'm aromantic, but I've decided to label myself as such until proven different. I would just look at your past to try and figure it out. I just went back and thought, did I ever like someone enough to date them? Have I ever felt like I don't want to date or have other things I would rather do? That's what helped me. As for coming out, it's totally up to you. I'm out to my sisters and my school, but not to my parents. I don't ever plan on coming out to them either. Do what feels right to you :)

If you don't mind saying, how old are you? Because I would probably do that if I wasn't worried that it was too early for me to know. (I'm thirteen, almost fourteen.)

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On 7/27/2020 at 7:58 PM, Guest Person said:

If you don't mind saying, how old are you? Because I would probably do that if I wasn't worried that it was too early for me to know. (I'm thirteen, almost fourteen.)

I know that I'm super late in replying, but I really hope you see this. I'm 17, but have been IDing as aro for around 3/4 years now. I think that especially with romantic attraction, people feel it at a very early age, so I definitely think you're not too young.

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On ‎9‎/‎26‎/‎2020 at 9:39 PM, Kat/Katya said:

I know that I'm super late in replying, but I really hope you see this. I'm 17, but have been IDing as aro for around 3/4 years now. I think that especially with romantic attraction, people feel it at a very early age, so I definitely think you're not too young.

Thanks, that helps. So do you think I could just call myself aromantic if I've always felt indifferent and oblivious to romance, then?

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