Jump to content

What's the oposite to amatonormativity?


Holmbo
 Share

Recommended Posts

So if amatonormativity is the prejudice that all humans should be in a monogamous romantic relationship. Is there any opposite word to that? The closest I could come to fit would be relationship anarchy. It would be nice to have some sort of umbrella term for things that promotes other relationships as equally valid.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

it would help if the umbrella term was one word, just to increase searchability. Does relationship anarchy cover single/non-partnering acceptance? 

I'm not good with latin, but could a derivative of lifestyle-variety-acceptance be a possibility?

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

What do you mean by opposite of amatonormativity ?

Is it a societal norm that whould state that monogamous relationship are inherently bad ?

Is it something more about not having a prejudice against not having monongamous relationship ?

Because relationship anarchy is neiter (but widely encompass the second). Relationsip anarchy is treating relationship according to anarchist principles (even if the term have been recently massively reclaimed by many non anarchists). That roughly means trying to :

  • not prioritize any relationship over another based on external criterias (such as amatonormativity)
  • not prioritize  relationships over what you want in life beside them
  • avoid things that could constrain you or your partners in something they don't want in the relationship (including sex, romance, friendship, monogamy, polygamy, bed sharing, comitment, etc.)

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 5/29/2020 at 4:24 AM, John Rando said:

What do you mean by opposite of amatonormativity ?

Is it a societal norm that whould state that monogamous relationship are inherently bad ?

Is it something more about not having a prejudice against not having monongamous relationship ?

 

The second option. I know RA is not that, but it's the closest term I could think of that describes it. 

  • Thanks 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

There's no opposite of amatonormativity.

Amatonormative is the systematic idea that love, specially monogamous/monoamorous romantic love, is needed and universal. Amatonormativity is not exclusive of monoamorous romantic people, as there are a lot of polyamorous people and/or alloplatonic/alloalterous arospec that have extremely amatonormative ideas too.

 

There's no opposite of amatonormativity because there's no system that put love in every form as inherently bad and oppress those who express it. 

 

 

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've seen relationship anarchy as a thing! If that's something that resonates with you, maybe you should look more into it? I've also seen the term "non hierarchical" polyamory/non monogamy. It's when you don't experience primary/secondary relationship structures.

EDIT: I'm reading further into this too! I know here it says sexual and romantic relationships, but it can be applied to other dynamics too

http://www.relationship-anarchy.com/videos/2016/6/20/the-difference-between-relationship-anarchy-and-non-hierarchical-polyamory

 

Edited by yurihands
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 hours ago, Qim said:

There's no opposite of amatonormativity because there's no system that put love in every form as inherently bad and oppress those who express it.

Interesting that you looked at it in a binary way of good/bad when I saw the question as finding a presence/absence binary. An alternative to saying 'non-amatonormative', for situations where amatonormativity isn't present or is actively resisted.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

13 hours ago, yurihands said:

I'm reading further into this too! I know here it says sexual and romantic relationships, but it can be applied to other dynamics too

To be relationsip anarchy it must be applied to every kind of relationship (platonic, affinity relationship, colleagues, familly, etc...) (and if it it can feel to be a too wide scopes, that's just because anarchy is by definition a anti-authoritarian totalitarian ideology, so it applies everywhere)

8 hours ago, Apathetic Echidna said:

Interesting that you looked at it in a binary way of good/bad when I saw the question as finding a presence/absence binary. An alternative to saying 'non-amatonormative', for situations where amatonormativity isn't present or is actively resisted.

If I had to coin a word for that, I think I would  go for "amatoneutrality". As @Qim said, there is no such thing as anti-amatonormativity as a system, but sometimes, amatonormativity can be overlooked in some particular situations within the amatonormative society ; hence "neutrality" as in "gender-neutral pronouns".

  • Like 2
  • Thanks 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, Holmbo said:

I don't even know what amato is supposed to stand for though

I suppose it comes from latin? Makes me think of the verb amare that means to love. But I'm not an expert so I'm not sure.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, nonmerci said:

I suppose it comes from latin? Makes me think of the verb amare that means to love. But I'm not an expert so I'm not sure.

IIRC it means beloved 
Mentioned in this article. Which starts by referencing Plato.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 months later...
On 5/31/2020 at 11:50 PM, Mark said:

IIRC it means beloved 
Mentioned in this article. Which starts by referencing Plato.

When I think about it, why do we even need a Latin term? Wouldn't it be better to just say romancenormativity (romonormativity for short 😄)

Much more intuitive IMO.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

12 hours ago, Holmbo said:

Wouldn't it be better to just say romancenormativity (romonormativity for short 😄)

Much more intuitive IMO.

It would, that sounds like a much better word to me.

Although the cynic in me suspects anyone trying that would have the devil's own job trying to get the term into an academic text like how amatonormativity got coined. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's kinda common in english for us to use latin roots for words? And I think using amato- works better than romance anyways because I think amatonormativity is thus able to more broadly include things in a way that isn't limited to romance.

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

TBH I think sticking the “anti” prefix in front of amatonormativity is fine. Like “anti-racism/antiracism” means action against racism, having “anti-amatonormativity” mean action against amatonormative biases & systems (which I think could encompass “things that promotes other relationships as equally valid“). 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 8/14/2020 at 6:28 PM, Holmbo said:

When I think about it, why do we even need a Latin term? Wouldn't it be better to just say romancenormativity (romonormativity for short 😄)

Much more intuitive IMO.

Because amatonormativity as generally defined is not just about prioritising romance, it's about prioritising a particular model of monogamous, lifelong romance. 

The opposite might be a word that encapsulates embracing a diversity of relationship types - or embracing people's freedom to make their own choices about what kinds of interpersonal relationships they engage in.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, eatingcroutons said:

Because amatonormativity as generally defined is not just about prioritising romance, it's about prioritising a particular model of monogamous, lifelong romance. 

That's why allo ace also use it I think. So romancenormativity would not fit for them at all.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 8/15/2020 at 2:13 AM, Magni said:

I think using amato- works better than romance anyways because I think amatonormativity is thus able to more broadly include things in a way that isn't limited to romance.

Damn, great point there, I totally haden't thought about that but it works. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 8/15/2020 at 2:13 AM, Magni said:

It's kinda common in english for us to use latin roots for words? And I think using amato- works better than romance anyways because I think amatonormativity is thus able to more broadly include things in a way that isn't limited to romance.

There are non-romantic relationships, such as "Platonic Life Partners", which can can be similar to romantic relationships in terms of structure, dynamics, hierarchy, etc.

On 8/16/2020 at 9:35 AM, nonmerci said:

That's why allo ace also use it I think.

Not sure that this applies. Since non-sexual romantic relationships are little different from sexual romantic relationships.
Indeed Professor Brake's definition makes no direct mention of such relationships being sexual.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...