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Your Worst Rejection? (and Best, if ya want?)

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Growing up I was always completely oblivious when other people liked me. So my "rejections" were always a little awkward and not so elegant. So the question is, "What's your worst rejection story?"

 

Mine is from highschool. It's not a fun one though. I had made it evidently clear that I didn't like him back, but I was flattered by the sentiment. But he wouldn't take no for an answer, and the situation spiralled out of control. It became a stalker situation for an entire semester. But yeah... I hope y'all have funnier stories???

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I'm the same as you. If someone likes me I'm oblivious and sometimes really annoying cause I don't catch hints. 

My worst rejection history is when one of my best (female) friends said that she liked me. I was literally panicking because I didn't want to hurt her but I didn't know what to say. She cried cause I wasn't giving her a direct answer about how I felt at that moment. 

She was sad for DAYS and crying at school. Meanwhile my useless ass didn't know what to do. It didn't damage our friendship but I didn't act as the friend I should have acted. Luckily we are ok now and I hope I never have to reject someone and leave them clueless again. :/

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Tbh I've always handled these situations by just avoiding the hell out of those people lol. Like this guy at my old work kept flirting with me and tried to get my mom to set us up (we all worked at the same store) and when she told me he was going to ask me out I just avoided his area of the store all day. He must have realized I wasn't interested because he completely ignored me after that and was actually kind of an ass to my mom. 🙄 Just a complete 180 after months of pretending to be friendly with both of us. I've never understood why allos are like that. To me if you completely lose interest in me as a person when you find out I don't want to date you, you never really liked me. I don't get it. Why did you want to date me if you don't want to be friends with me?

My actual worst rejection was probably ending a long-term romantic relationship by ghosting her. I did go back and explain myself and officially end things after a while but it was a shitty thing to do. I just got overwhelmed with everything, and I didn't know I was aro yet so I didn't know why. There was more to that than just being aro though.

My stories aren't very fun either lol. I'm oblivious when it comes to this shit too. I never know what to do. It seems like there's no way out of it that doesn't upset people.

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The two or three people who have shown interest in me I ended up ghosting. Only one of those was on purpose, due to other reasons that did not include asking me out but caused me to not want to be his friend anymore. The other two ended up being ghosted by shifting friends groups at college. None of these had awkward consequences cus people graduated or we stoped running in the same social circles. These were before I figured out I was aro.

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Worst was when I said no and the guy threatens of commit suicide... Then I told his mother so she handled it, and ghosted him.

 

On a lighter note : there is the other guy who asked me out. I really disliked him. So when he asked, I just say "No, sorry", and go away like a badass. (in fact, the guy was actually nice and we were friends during a year; though he still had feelings he never asked again)

I don't know if this is my worst rejections, I don't have a lot more. I'm not a very demanding person I guess. But I don't mind.

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I feel like I should put mine in a spoiler because I'm fairly sure I could/should have gotten the authorities/police involved. I'm fairly sure you are asking from romantic rejections, and well, mine just fall into the category of 'rejections are when I say no'. Warning for stalkerish and bad drunk behaviours

Spoiler

1. Ghosting gone wrong: I was travelling overseas but staying in one city for awhile when one day I wasn't feeling too well I sat on a public bench and after a few minutes I was approached. He said he'd been watching me, wanted to know if I was all right, kept wanting to chat, so I gave him my number to go away, which he eventually did. I tried ghosting him, but I started seeing him around the places I frequently went. It was creeping me out so I started changing my schedule/route. I even started asking patrolling police directions I didn't need when I saw them in those areas. Then I caught the flu and spent a week in bed and never saw him again.  

2. Drunk guys: At a bar with a loose group of friends, I turned a drunk guy down when he was trying to either buy me drinks and/or get me to play pool. The way the bar was built meant I had to pass them to get back towards the door where my friends were all starting to leave. Drunk guy and his friend use this to force me into a corner and used pool cues to trap me there, where they continue trying to persuade me to stay with them. I didn't want to touch them because I didn't want to initiate physical contact in any way with them while I was the focus of their attention. Luckily, the group I was with had decided to put safety measures in place because it seemed like a particularly bad time for assaults that year and the designated driver/shepherd of the group came back for me and the situation was diffused without anything worse happening. 

It is possible in these two rejections that the guys did not mean for their actions to be seen in this way, maybe they didn't even notice they were doing it which is a bad indication of the state of empathy, sympathy and respect. 

on a lighter note in University I invited a guy to the movies with me and a friend, I didn't do it as a 'date' but I should have been warned because he did keep staring at my chest, then he invited us for drinks afterwards. We both turned him down because we had early experiments the next day so we had to get to sleep, it was only 9pm, and he called us both 'old grannies' and never spoke to me again.  

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When I was in middle school I made a "rule" for myself that I wouldn't go out with anyone until I was 15. All of my friends knew this.

One day one of my guy friends asked me to go to a school dance with him "as a friend" and I said yes. Then, about a day before the dance, I was informed by another friend that he was telling people we were dating so I stood him up and never apologized (he never apologized to me either). Not exactly an awkward way to reject someone, but it certainly wasn't kind, and to this day I think I could have handled it better.

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I've never rejected someone but I've been rejected once. It was funny. He said(after I spam texted him for like 2 straight months[so many regrets]), and I quote, "Dude, I ain't gay. Leave me alone."

I laughed and composed a haiku about how he actually types the word "ain't".

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I have rejected people making advances to me by just changing the theme and saying we have to study and keep the conversation in the theme of the study even though I know full well that they are making a "move" on me. I just don't care and they usually drop it at second try of me being "oblivious". People overestimate my mind, they think I am dumb when it comes to feelings, but the reality is that I see what they want and just don't care about it. Not my problem that you thought that we where going to bed with me mate, the test of the zoology class is 100000000x more important than that so suck it up and keep quizzing me with my index cards (mini vent cuz I really wanted to give it a try studying with someone else than my dog but apparently it can't be done without "distractions")

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There was a guy who liked me, and i cant give you an exact time frame, because this poor kid had a crush from around fifth grade to the end of highschool. (I think it was something he would let go of from time to time, but his friends often circled back to it and he would get flustered when people made insinuations).

 

Anyways, I had a v e r y low self-esteem, and on top of that I didn't WANT to acknowledge ang hints that were given to me about crushes/romance. For years (and I do mean YEARS, through out all of middle school and highschool) I assumed that the teasing was just because we looked "aesthetically nice" together, or that people thought it was funny to pair up a geeky nerd and one of the best athletes.

 

I never took any advances seriously because I thought it was a very big elaborate joke at my expense. I didn't want to call them out on it, because I didn't really care, and if people thought I liked him too or something they would be less likely to bug me about dating.

 

I didn't figure out until after highschool, from a close friend who asked why I was so brutal about rejecting him all the time- (read: monotone/nonchalant because I didn't think it was real) and you can only imagine how that conversation went.

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@Yellow bro I feel that. For latter part of high-school, I had a really similar situation.

I just assumed that it was just his friends messing with him. For awhile, I never said anything because I didn't want to embarrass him. At one point he learned how to say "I Love You" in my home language in front of a bunch of our mutual friends, and I still didn't get it. Maybe my subconscious realised it, but it didn't stop me from learning how to say "I Love You" in his home language. I thought it was all in good fun. I mean, if he could make a joke out of me, joking back couldn't hurt? 

Now, I kinda kick myself a lil bit because wowwwwww did I accidentally lead that him on. But we're on good terms. Besides mild guilt and (I assume) subtle heartbreak?, I think there's no hard feelings.

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I'm lucky/unlucky enough to be pretty good at picking up on when people are flirting with me, and that made it very awkward when I had to pretend to be oblivious as a kid. As if they would go away if I just played dumb and wished hard enough. In my early teens two of my friends asked me out, one of them even wrote it out in the sand with a stick?? and I just looked the other way and pretended not to see it. Both of them stopped talking to me afterwards and I realised that maybe that wasn't the best way to go about things. 

Then, as a young adult when I was dating around (because I was a normal romo, yes sir), I apparently chose to take a completely different approach to romance. When this person I had been seeing declared that they were falling in love with me, I was like "oh shit, but I really like them so maybe if they just gave me some fucking time and don't go so fucking fast I can fall in love with them too." So I ended up stringing the poor person along until they were in love with me and that's when I decided to end things for both our sakes and it was a mess. 

Edited by Oatpunk

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11 hours ago, Oatpunk said:

When this person I had been seeing declared that they were falling in love with me, I was like "oh shit, but I really like them so maybe if they just gave me some fucking time and don't go so fucking fast I can fall in love with them too." So I ended up stringing the poor person along until they were in love with me and that's when I decided to end things for both our sakes and it was a mess. 

I passed through a similar experience and like yours, it was messy. But we learned ^^ now we know better and that is what matters. First one's peace of mind and health and then the others.

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