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My name is Amber; I'm 29 and my 30th birthday is fast approaching! I'm a pansexual aromantic cis woman. To be honest, I am pretty iffy about the pansexual part. It appears I'm in a time of flux which I have accepted as a part of my queer experience. 💚 However, my romantic orientation has been aro for nearly as long as I can remember. I used to seek a romantic relationship because I had been led to believe that I NEEDED one and I was not feeling at all fulfilled by my friendships. I also enjoyed, and still enjoy though to a lesser extent, the grandiose idealized depictions of romance in fiction.

After finding excellent buds, my desire for a romantic relationship disappeared as it was something I never really wanted in the first place. What an amazing realization! I simply wanted to be loved, to love and to be understood. I am interested in community-based intimacy, not partner-based intimacy.

I seriously tried dating on three occasions! I was so unhappy every single time even though I loved those folks. I love[d] them a great deal but I was never "in love" with them.  I didn't understand why it saddened me so much or what was 'wrong' with me. It never felt right.

I was so relieved when the term aromantic was introduced to me. It's good to see I'm not alone and to be able to explain that I'm not broken for loving differently. I am so glad this forum exists!!!

I love cooking, baking, doodling and writing sometimes, anything *cute*, fashion as self-expression, gender nonconformity, makeup, detailed chats about LGBTQPIA+ stuff and lots of other things too of course.

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Welcome!

On 5/3/2020 at 10:02 AM, rabbitastic said:

To be honest, I am pretty iffy about the pansexual part. It appears I'm in a time of flux which I have accepted as a part of my queer experience. 

I went via pansexual on my way to ace personally. There's a pretty fine, very grey line between "I have the capacity to love everyone equally" and "I don't have those kinds of desires" for a lot of people since the second statement is technically also a subset of the first one. Good luck figuring out everything!

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16 hours ago, Momo said:

Welcome!

I went via pansexual on my way to ace personally. There's a pretty fine, very grey line between "I have the capacity to love everyone equally" and "I don't have those kinds of desires" for a lot of people since the second statement is technically also a subset of the first one. Good luck figuring out everything!

I have thought about this! I have run into other people who have experienced what you have. Some people have described it to me as knowing they feel the same about everyone but not in what way exactly. I have in the last year or so thought to myself 'Am I asexual?' As of late, I am leaning more towards demi-grey-something? Hahaha. I'll figure it out eventually! No worries. Thank you for wishing me luck on my journey 😄

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i'm so glad you found great friends and an understanding of your identity!  it certainly is a relief.

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On 5/5/2020 at 11:01 PM, Momo said:

Welcome!

I went via pansexual on my way to ace personally. There's a pretty fine, very grey line between "I have the capacity to love everyone equally" and "I don't have those kinds of desires" for a lot of people since the second statement is technically also a subset of the first one. Good luck figuring out everything!

FUNNY STORY: I am most definitely asexual, hahaha. The quarantine has given me a lot of time for introspection and retrospection.

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