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ScarfOfSexualPreference

I think I'm going on a date...? How do I tell him no?

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I've recently started thinking of myself as grey-sexual and aromantic, but I don't think this guy realizes that...

 

I broke up with a long term boyfriend recently and there's another guy who I think of as a friend, but not a close one. He asked me to go to the movies with him and eat fro yo after (when this is all over), and either I'm too arg to realize that this is a friend thing, or he's gonna tell me his feelings.

 

AAAAAH! This is awful! I don't want to date him! I don't want to date anyone! I'm not out yet, and I don't think I'm ready to be, since we live in a small town and my parents are super connected so if anyone else knows then my parents likely will. 

 

If he tells me he likes me, what should I tell him I'm not interested?

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You absolutely don't have to come out to him to say you don't want to date. "I'm not interested" is a perfectly acceptable (and honest) response! So would "I prefer our friendship", or "Thanks for telling me, but I don't feel the same way", etc. I would avoid anything that might seem wishy-washy or like there's a possibility for things to change in the future like "I just broke up with my boyfriend and I'm not ready to date", though. You don't need some big explanation - likely is he wouldn't/wouldn't want to hear one anyway. If he does push, just stay firm with "I'm not interested". "I don't have those feelings for you" is a complete sentence and reason.

I hope this is a friend thing and not a date thing, but regardless I hope it goes well. I know how stressful and awkward these situations can be, but you got this!

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Same answer : just tell him you are not interested, or you don't feel the same way. That's enough. If he ask why you are not interested, just says you are not and there don't have to be a reason for that : you have or don't have this kind of feelings, there is no reason for that.

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Everybody has the right not to be interested or to be interested in just friendship.

You don't have to come out as aromantic for this. I keep the 'aromantic' for very very persistant people.

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Ok, you can do the long road or the short road. Long road: "Hey, thanks for inviting me to the movies. But I want to leave something clear, this is not a date. I think of you only as a friend and that will not change. Hope you can accept my decision." or the short road: "Hey, I am not interested in a relationship. This is just two friends going out." Now IF he doesn't accept your decision, then he is  jerk and you should reevaluate your friendship with him. Friends respect boundaries. Family respect each other. Cheers and good luck mate.

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