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I'd forgotten this happened bc I was Drunk, but a few weeks ago while out clubbing a remix of 'you give love a bad name' came on and my friend said: "it's ironic bc you're aromantic". Correct me if I'm wrong bc I truly struggle to know when the term irony applies, but that probably wasn’t the kindest thing they could have said was it?

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Was your friend also drunk? Because I struggle to even understand what that comment means, so it sounds kinda like poorly thought out drunken rambling. However, if you're hurt/upset by what was said, you're allowed to be! Your feelings are valid. Is this something you might want to have a conversation about with this friend?

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That sounds like a joke in pretty poor taste, yeah. I'm sure your friend meant well, but there's so many layers to unpack there.

 

1. The implication that because you're aromantic that means that other people's love is less somehow (giving love a bad name generally)

2. The implication that because you're aromantic that your love is less somehow (otherwise why would it be giving love a bad name?)

3. That love implies romance and the fact you're aromantic is even relevant.

 

Probably some other things I've missed. But if you're upset about it, there's definitely reason to be and it might be good to talk to your friend about it. But most likely it was just a bad drunk joke that they said without thinking.

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I interpret that "if you aromantic you hate love or say bad things about love". But hard to say. Maybe ask your friend what that meant?

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I'd say all your answers have merit! It was most likely a poorly thought out drunk thought, I KNEW there were some questionable layers to the statement, and yeah, my friends do tend to think I dislike romance more than I actually do. (I should see if there's a thread about that/start one bc I certainly have some things to say there!)

 

I'm not upset, thought I do feel like I should be lol. Tbh with this specific friend at some point I categorised them as "young" in my mind due to a lot of the choices I've seen them make and now I just brush off certain things they do as a byproduct of them being young. For the record they are 19 - not that young - and I am 23 - not that much older lol - but it is what it is. I won't be talking about it with them bc we were drunk and it was a while ago. Plus with all the social distancing rn the last thing I want to spend our limited time on is this. 

 

Thanks for the responses, I appreciate your thoughts ❤️

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44 minutes ago, Scoop said:

For the record they are 19 - not that young - and I am 23 - not that much older lol -

Acutally, at this age, 4 years can lead to some difference in term of maturity. Of course it also depends on the personality etc, but really, I think you say he is young, yeah!

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Yeah at age 19 (in three days) I definitely feel much younger than my friends who are graduating and have graduated college at 23. 

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Posted (edited)

I used to say "Don't act on something that happened after 2AM." The alcohol makes it even worse.

But of course you and your way to love are valid.

Edited by Ch0c0

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On 3/27/2020 at 2:00 AM, Scoop said:

bc I truly struggle to know when the term irony applies

I use irony in the situations where it's like "This isn't funny but I'm going laugh." When someone is being ironic or doing something ironically, it's like a more jokey type of hypocrisy.

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