Early signs that you were aro

[tiger_hoods12]

I used to also use the excuse that I was just very picky. This was before I found out I was asexual or aromantic, and I bought into the idea that there is someone out there for everyone and I just haven’t found the right person yet. I never crushed on anyone until 8th grade.  Technically speaking, I was picky at the time, my “type” was VERY specific and I only ever ended up having one crush my entire life. So I guess I was right. But I’m counting it as a sign because any time someone asked if I like anyone I said said I was picky instead of ever admitting that maybe attraction was really rare for me and that I was maybe on the aromantic spectrum. I know saying this phrase was definitely me trying to repress the idea that maybe I didn’t want a relationship and was annoyed at everyone asking.

[tiger_hoods12]

Also, I was a really strong advocate of being single is okay. As a kid, I started to embrace being single and like the fact that being alone wasn’t a bad thing. I liked being alone and I hated how my friends would always take pity on me. It actually made me mad. As I got older it only got worse. Friends would insist I’d date or crush on someone. Mind you, I’m 9 or 10, even if was like “Why are we putting so much importance on this at our young age?” 

But because it happened so much, I would ALWAYS actively speak out against the stigma of being single or alone. Actively said this to friends anytime they tried to take pity on me. They never fired back though. They were all open minded and said they actually never said anything like that again. Which surprised me. Looking back, it was mostly my parents who were the most stubborn.

[Glacier]

Sometime around 8th grade a classmate of mine started hinting at the fact that they liked me (which I was completely oblivious to). At one point they explicitly asked me if I was interested in dating, to which I replied with a cold "No, I'm not interested in relationships". It took me at least a year after that to realize I had turned down someone's confession.

[Vegas]

I'm 33, and to this day have never dated or been in a relationship. Never saw the point, never really wanted to sacrifice my freedom and independence and ability to just go where the wind blows me. I hike and backpack and work seasonal jobs all over the country, while living out of my SUV. Dating and relationships just seem pointless to me, and a total sacrifice of independence and freedom. Sex is fun, I've had sex with girls before and overall enjoyed the experience, but have never had the desire to commit to one person or settle down. 

 

I'm definitely free spirited and nomadic, but I think being aromantic is also a part of it. 

[NobodyNomad]

A good friend confessed to having a crush on me and my first response was "Why? That's a terrible decision, have you met me?". Luckily this conversation led to her asking me if I preferred someone else which led to me saying I hadn't felt anything except platonic friendship towards anyone (except you know enemies and strangers), she asked if I was asexual and I replied "That was an option?"
And that led to me discovering the term aroace and that it fits me incredibly well.
In hindsight I was not exactly polite but to be fair I was slightly panicking as I am very awkward.

[Vegas]

I used to (and still pretty much do) think that lyrics about heartbreak were like ridiculously over exaggerated or just written so the singer could get laid lol. 

Or when friends would talk about crushes, I always just assumed that they were making it up just because they wanted sex, when we were younger, make out sessions or whatever. I used to fake having crushes on whatever girl I thought was the coolest or prettiest just because my parents were kinda concerned that I never had any interest in dating. 

[Glacier]

Once in high school we were asked to practice a choreography for PE class. At one point during the choreography, we would hold hands with a classmate of the opposite gender and walk around or something. Turns out I was paired with one of my "crushes" (read: person I was aesthetically attracted to). I quickly found out that that person had really dry hands, and I immediately stopped having a "crush" on them. Apparently that's not normal.

[Vegas]

6 minutes ago, Glacier said:

Once in high school we were asked to practice a choreography for PE class. At one point during the choreography, we would hold hands with a classmate of the opposite gender and walk around or something. Turns out I was paired with one of my "crushes" (read: person I was aesthetically attracted to). I quickly found out that that person had really dry hands, and I immediately stopped having a "crush" on them. Apparently that's not normal.

I do the same thing, but with weird fingernails

[Garlic Bread.2]

For me: I was talking to a person who had a “breakup” and I said why you can’t go back to being friends. Apparently that’s not a normal thing.

[captainjulian]

• absolutely hated disney movies and romance films, and preferred watching comedy films (without romantic subplots) and documentaries instead
• had a very vague idea of romance, and when i imagined romance i imagined all the cliched stuff but never imagined myself in these scenarios, just other people or characters, or i would imagine them completely “backwards” (for example, i was the one proposing to an imaginary “partner”)
• had at least two boyfriends at different points and wasn’t even attracted to them in that way; i only saw them as friends. i thought boys were too clingy for me and always hated Valentine’s day; when i got out of the second relationship i tried to get back into it not because i liked the guy, but because i wanted to be in a relationship to seem “normal” to my family and peers. also, hated kissing them lol
• i thought i had celebrity crushes but they turned out to be either 1) a strong admiration for them or looking up to them, or 2) gender envy (for context i’m transmasc and agender). never saw the appeal of boy bands or other things girls liked, and was confused when the other girls said they had a crush on so-and-so boy band member, so i just picked one at random if they asked me
• thought i had crushes on boys and girls when i was in middle school but in hindsight they were more like squishes
• literally wrote a poem in high school called “Alone on Valentine’s” where i basically said i was alone on Valentine’s day and didn’t even care about it because i didn’t like anyone anyways lol

and this is all stuff i wrote out in my notes app, there may be more as i remember them

Edited Tuesday at 06:48 PM by captainjulian

[Vegas]

1 hour ago, captainjulian said:

• absolutely hated disney movies and romance films, and preferred watching comedy films (without romantic subplots) and documentaries instead
• had a very vague idea of romance, and when i imagined romance i imagined all the cliched stuff but never imagined myself in these scenarios, just other people or characters, or i would imagine them completely “backwards” (for example, i was the one proposing to an imaginary “partner”)
• had at least two boyfriends at different points and wasn’t even attracted to them in that way; i only saw them as friends. i thought boys were too clingy for me and always hated Valentine’s day; when i got out of the second relationship i tried to get back into it not because i liked the guy, but because i wanted to be in a relationship to seem “normal” to my family and peers. also, hated kissing them lol
• i thought i had celebrity crushes but they turned out to be either 1) a strong admiration for them or looking up to them, or 2) gender envy (for context i’m transmasc and agender). never saw the appeal of boy bands or other things girls liked, and was confused when the other girls said they had a crush on so-and-so boy band member, so i just picked one at random if they asked me
• thought i had crushes on boys and girls when i was in middle school but in hindsight they were more like squishes
• literally wrote a poem in high school called “Alone on Valentine’s” where i basically said i was alone on Valentine’s day and didn’t even care about it because i didn’t like anyone anyways lol

and this is all stuff i wrote out in my notes app, there may be more as i remember them

Lol the ending of Hercules almost ruined the movie for me. He threw away immortality and his true destiny just because of a woman?!?!? Just go to a sex worker, don't throw away godhood! Lol