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Cassiopeia

Early signs that you were aro

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On 8/22/2018 at 7:44 PM, Crewe said:

I was pondering the question of "do you believe in love at first sight" (why? Who knows. I think I just wanted to be prepared with an answer if anybody asked me) and eventually decided that yes, I did believe in love at first sight... just not for me.

This short conversation (which was in Spanish, but has been translated to English for this site) occurred in my Spanish class when I was in high school:

My Spanish Teacher [to the class]: Do you believe in love at first sight?

Me [to the teacher]: No!

My Spanish Teacher [to me, sarcastically]: Ok.....thanks, John....

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Ever since I was a little kid playing house with my baby dolls and as I got older and imagined my future, I never had a husband. It was just me and my kids. 

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Posted (edited)

This is more recent, but anytime I tried to envision my future families, they never had a face, they just had the physical attributes I enjoyed. I hated when people brought up me being married in the future, like it was something required of me. I got sad in school when I saw people hooking up, showing physical signs of affection, but am acceptable of it in fiction, and I just hated when I saw or heard my brothers were in romantic relationships, when I can't picture myself in one, without any negatives.

Edited by IA3Faces
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5 hours ago, IA3Faces said:

This is more recent, but anytime I tried to envision my future families, they never had a face, they just had the physical attributes I enjoyed. I hated when people brought up me being married in the future, like it was something required of me. I got sad in school when I saw people hooking up, showing physical signs of affection, and I just hated when I saw or heard my brothers were in romantic relationships, when I can't picture myself in one, without any negatives.

Well, I relate on the marriage part, I specially hated when my grandma went like:''you just think that because you are a kid, you will change your mind when you are older'' or ''you just think that because you think no one is able to love you, you have low self-esteem''. Ugh, no I want to be loved but not that way.

By the way, I enjoy other people being happy in their relationships and fictional ships too, as long as physical affection, I just don't get the difference between a very close friendship and a romantic partner excepting the sex part but since I'm not ace or sexually repulsed that's confusing. And since it's hard to explain to people I rather prefer to be alone than to find the soulmate I am looking for.

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I actually enjoy romance in movies, shows or books. I find it entertaining what people are willing to do because of romantic love, whether it be fiction or reality shows and stuff. But a sign for me I guess was that I never understood weddings. Why people need a paper and jewelery saying they love each other or like why spend tons of money on it? It would have the same purpose if you just got married without all that fuzz and did a bbq party later. And the vows, like we'll be together until death takes us apart. B*tch half of ya'll get divorced, why lie?

Also I don't get the sentiment of first kisses and stuff. Of course never had crushes and didn't understand why it'd be weird not to have them. Always was the only girl I know who's happy to be single, everyone else gets depressed or talks all the time about wanting to date someone. Once I mentioned to my friend that I was never in love and all she said was "That's kinda sad." I was like why tho, you were just crying about falling in love with another di*k that treats you like sh*t.

On 10/1/2020 at 8:20 PM, PeepsInTheChiliPot said:

Ever since I was a little kid playing house with my baby dolls and as I got older and imagined my future, I never had a husband. It was just me and my kids. 

Oh my god, same! I would take care of like 5 dolls of various "ages" and not think about the husband at all. I also wanted to adopt kids since I was really young and for my whole life when kids were brought up I'd always say I wanna adopt.

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On 8/23/2018 at 3:44 AM, Crewe said:

one big "you were aro you idiot" moment I remember is in I think middle school I was pondering the question of "do you believe in love at first sight" (why? Who knows. I think I just wanted to be prepared with an answer if anybody asked me) and eventually decided that yes, I did believe in love at first sight... just not for me.

Ah, love at first sight. How does that even work? You freaking look at someone and you're suddenly in love just like that? I thought it was this powerful feeling, how come it's apparently so easy to catch? Those cliché scenes when two people bump into each other and one of them falls behind, so the other one could reach their hand saying "Are you alright?" then the fallen person looks up and *que romantic music* "Y-yes."

I guess love at first conversation would be plausable but wth, allos.

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Posted (edited)

One thing I was recently reminded of is that whenever I would hear news about people leaving marriage to later in life or lower rates of marriage altogether my thoughts were of relief. I could put that off for longer. Kick it into the future, even though then I didn't fully comprehend that I was relieved because I just didn't want to marry altogether.

Edited by roboticanary
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Guest Aroana

I never had a problem with romance in movies or in other people’s life, I guess my early signs was that I never really had a crush on anyone, it was more like a friend crush if you know what I mean.
But the real signs came when I first started getting into relationships, I felt sexual attraction and I liked the guy as a best friend but not long into the relationship I stated feeling trapped and almost claustrophobic. This feeling of being trapped kept happening whenever I would get into a relationship and I even felt panic whenever someone would express feelings towards me.

I am now 18 and I just last week figured out that I am aromantic and I feel both relieved and a bit anxious. I just really want to talk to someone else who are also aromantic and I don’t know anyone who identifies by that term. I don’t really know were to go with this new information about myself.

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Upon one of my friends asking me, "what my type was," I responded with, "Um, I don't know, nice?" 🤣🤣

Goodness gracious, sometimes I'm so aro/ace it makes laugh.

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For me it wasn't until my late teens when I had my first "relationships". I love romance in fiction so I was looking forward to feeling it myself, but it never came. I acted the part, but the whole time I felt stressed and bored. I wanted to just be close, be friends, and I thought more about what would happen if I were to have sex rather than any future with the person. Once we would part ways for the day I would feel relieved. 😅

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I recently remembered a song I was trying to write when I was like, 13, so of course I was trying to imitate tween pop, because that was all I knew at the time, which meant it had to be romantic. The story was essentially, "I have a crush on you, but I know this would never happen. Oh well, it's fun to think about. Happy song." 

It's almost like I didn't actually want people to reciprocate the """"crushes"""" that other people told me I had at the time. 

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