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Marriage and kids

Do you want marriage and/or kids?  

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I hope I covered the options--pick the closest to how you feel and explain if you like. 

 

I don't want either.

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I don't want to get married but I want

kids.  I wanted to say both biological and adopted lol. Thing is : I can't really picture myself with pregnancy. My country is only trying to open assited reproduction to lesbian couples and single women. I know my parents are against it and I really can't picture myself justifying my choice to them and the reste of the world for the reste of my day. Si I am thinking more about adoption. But in a more tolérant society, both biological and adopted kids sound great to me.

 

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I chose maybe for marriage. I do not want to get married, but I can not say I will not change my mind in the right circumstances (for example, with a qpp), even if it is very unlikely. For children, I chose biological children but I also wanted to choose adopted because I have no preference :) I have always wanted children and being single will not stop me from having them haha.

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I would maybe get married under the right circumstances but I do not want kids 

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I would answer likely not for both questions.

I don't want to marry somebody lightly as I am quite independant by nature.

Children can be great but it is quite difficult to raise a child alone. I would not mind raising my partner's child, with him.

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I think it would be nice to be married one day, but right now it's not a need or anything.

 

Kids are much more iffy. With the right person, maybe 10 years or so from now, I can see myself adopting an older child (like over 7 years old). But it's unlikely.

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I chose maybe for marriage, but I honestly think it's unlikely to happen. Perhaps to a friend or QPP. Even if I get crush-like/romantic-attraction-like feelings for someone (like I have in the past), I vastly prefer to negotiate my relationships as platonic or at least not romantic. So if I did get married, it would be unconventional. 

 

I'm much more interested in raising children, though. Not much preference between biological or adopted/foster (in the poll I chose adopted). I'd very much like to do this with other people, which is a little frustrating to think about since you rarely hear about dedicated platonic child rearing outside of divorces. 

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I go back and forth with whether I'd want to get married. On the one hand, it's hard to be by yourself in the society we live in (or at least I find it difficult). On the other hand, I've never been able to maintain and stay interested in a relationship for very long (qpr or romantic) and honestly they don't really make me all that happier than not being in one. They don't make me unhappy. I'm just blah. It's nice to have a person focused on me that I'm also focused on, but it's not like the goal of life.

 

I want to adopt children, though. I could never have bio kids, it'd make me way too dysphoric. I've always loved kids and the thought of one day being a parent is an appealing one to me. I would love to have someone to help me with them, but it's not a requirement. My mom raised me and my brother just fine mostly on her own. I could do the same.

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I think it might be cool to have a "nesting partner". Have a best friend who I live with (separate bedrooms, and plenty of space)... but I'm pretty happy living by myself...

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  I'm someone who enjoys the close companionship of romantic relationships. I can live without one but what I really want is something I call a 'life-partner,' someone who will be my closest friend, who I can cuddle with and maybe have a sexual relationship with (though that is entirely optional), but mostly someone I can raise a kid with. I don't want biological kids but I've known too many kids who grew up in the system or who were adopted into abusive homes and if I can provide a loving home for a kid without parents to care for them, I will, with or without a life-partner. Plus, I'm a super nurturing person and I've always wanted a kid.

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As a child I never wanted to have biological kids but I wanted to adopt them and I still think that way. My mother obviously said that when I was older I would change my mind, aside from now knowing I’m trans and asexual I never wanted bio kids lol. I’m demiromantic so it’s definitely possible I would marry someone I’m romantically attracted to or maybe I’ll be in a qpp relationship. But I’m also ok with not finding either or finding someone after my 30-40s.

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No to both. I consider marriage a social construct, one that is kinda binding and suffocating for me. I can live with someone and be happy together without having to marry that person. Kinda roommates situation. I see kids and is hella cool...but away from me. I consider myself the rich single uncle if I would be ever in that situation, never will I ever have biological children. The only exception to the rule is if I served as a foster home, but not a permanent one, just till they can rise their wings and fly on their own. Living alone is great for me, since i try to be as independent as possible.

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1 hour ago, Blake said:

No to both. I consider marriage a social construct, one that is kinda binding and suffocating for me. I can live with someone and be happy together without having to marry that person. Kinda roommates situation. I see kids and is hella cool...but away from me. I consider myself the rich single uncle if I would be ever in that situation, never will I ever have biological children. The only exception to the rule is if I served as a foster home, but not a permanent one, just till they can rise their wings and fly on their own. Living alone is great for me, since i try to be as independent as possible.

Marriage is definitely a social construct lol no one can argue that, it’s is literally something created by people for social purposes (well, it was created to sell woman for livestock or political power but it turned into something for social purposes as we came to realize that woman aren’t something to be sold)

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I would like a qpp of some kind down the road, but i don't really care about marriage.
Maybe if the other person wants to, but probably not.

As for kids: Certainly never biologicals ones. If anything adopted but not likely. 

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I chose "definitely not" for marriage and "maybe" for kids.

I'm a person who prefers having a group of (moderately) close friends over being fixated on one or two really close relationships. I don't desire being in a qpr and I dislike the societal implications of marriage even if it would be financially rewarding. (Maybe I'll move in with friends one day, but for now, I'd rather start living alone once I move out of my family's house.)

I can't really see myself having kids in the near future but that might change one day. I wouldn't want to have biological children though, only adoption/foster care. But probably I'll just help taking care of my siblings' and friends' kids one day.

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maybe for marriage, although this is less about what I want and more about law. There are some differences in terms of law between being married and living with a good friend and I would rather talk it through. The idea of marriage makes me uncomfortable, and feels like a sort of betrayal to who I am, but I can be old and cynical enough to realise that marriage has advantages that are not going to be extended to good friendships any time soon. my discomfort is not of a level that I wouldn't suck it up and deal with it if I thought marriage would be useful.

As for kids, probably not and no desire for it at the moment but it is not an idea I have put enough thought in to rule out.

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If I absolutely have to, I'll marry a close friend of mine for tax/housing/healthcare/insurance benefits and financial stability (in case one of us loses our job). I would prefer not to though. I just wish it was more socially acceptable for people to live with their friends in a non-romantic way.

I don't wanna have kids either lol, not sure I could deal with them.

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I chose definitely not for both marriage and kids. Kids are a hard no, I just don't like the idea of raising them. I'm even uncomfortable looking after them at all, I can't talk to them. Marriage or a QPR was a little more complicated, but I ended up saying no. I don't want anything with a label on it, I don't think. 

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"Definitely not" to both.

I have no interest in getting married, and dislike the institution.

I've never wanted children, and while I adore my nephew and enjoy babysitting him, the experience has convinced me I would be a terrible mother even if I did want kids. Looking after and spoiling a child for a few hours is great, but having them full time and being responsible for how the turn out? No thanks!

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Amen to that. My parents can barely handle me and my brother even though they both have stable full-time 6-figure jobs lol. What the hell is society thinking, pressuring people to have kids?

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I agree, marriage only if it makes sense for legal/financial reasons and even then I'm totally sold on the idea. A wedding sounds like a pain in ass that is steeped in archaic and stupid traditions. Eloping might be doable but I can guarantee I would get backlash for doing it from certain family members and doesn't seem worth the hassle. 

Kids on the other hand are a hard pass. Too much work, too much money, too much sanity lost. Pregnancy sounds like a bloody nightmare. Even the best parents can have terrible children and I can guarantee I would not make a good mother as I have no patience for children for long periods at a time and I am too much of a good person to do that to anyone, my biological child or adopted. I'll stick to cats thank you very much.

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Posted (edited)

I'm not completely put-off by the idea of marriage, and maybe it'll happen with and only with the right person and circumstances, but I have virtually no desire to pro-create at least right now and for all my life before. I'm not the healthiest of specimens either so it's probably for the best.

Going back to the "marriage", I am not a fan of the traditional pomp and ceremony, or marrying for the sake of marrying.

Edited by SkyTuneRein

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