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Morgenfluss

Aromantic and Other LGBTQ

What is your sexual orientation? Choose as many as you think apply to you.  

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So, I know these aren't all the orientations you'll find out there, so just select whichever fits best :)

 

I'm curious about how the statistics will be.

 

~Luca

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Not me, but at the ace meetup I was at at a con (mentioned in another post of mine) a kid (probably 14?) said "[they] somehow manage to be flamboyantly gay, even though they are ace-aro"

I liked the phrasing. It doesn't describe me, but I liked it...

 

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Might I just say that the word you may be looking for instead of aro-spec is greyromantic? It's a word both used as an orientation label and as an umbrella term for the grey area on the aromantic spectrum. The aro spec encompasses aromantic as well, you see.

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I always find it incredibly interesting that most aro people who take these polls are female and the second most is non-binary. The non-binary one makes sense, we've done a lot of research on LGBT+ orientations and are more likely to have chanced on the word and explored it more open-mindedly but female... I guess guys are typically more 'queer-shamed' than girls so maybe guys are less likely to take pride in their aromantisim or maybe even discover it. I don't know, this is just speculation, but I am very curious and fascinated by this kind of stuff.

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3 hours ago, Kadence said:

I always find it incredibly interesting that most aro people who take these polls are female and the second most is non-binary. The non-binary one makes sense, we've done a lot of research on LGBT+ orientations and are more likely to have chanced on the word and explored it more open-mindedly but female... I guess guys are typically more 'queer-shamed' than girls so maybe guys are less likely to take pride in their aromantisim or maybe even discover it. I don't know, this is just speculation, but I am very curious and fascinated by this kind of stuff.

I think women tend to express their desire for romantic love much more than guys do (idk about enbies), so if we so happen to be absent of that, we are maybe more likely to express our absence of romantic desire, especially when fending off creepy men. We basically have to come out to try and avoid guys hitting on us. 

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Seems to me that the gender question could be better worded, as Man/Boy vs. Woman/Girl rather than Male vs. Female

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I think women are very pressured about romantic attraction. Like, we are supposed to get married, wanted children, find TRUE LOVE...

Men also have this pressure, but they are also supposed to enjoy sex without romance, contrary to women...

 

So maybe there is a link?

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On 4/11/2020 at 5:58 PM, nonmerci said:

I think women are very pressured about romantic attraction. Like, we are supposed to get married, wanted children, find TRUE LOVE...

Men also have this pressure, but they are also supposed to enjoy sex without romance, contrary to women...

 

So maybe there is a link?

I'm not sure if men are pressured to like sex specifically without romance, but they are pressured to enjoy all sexual advances made by women, whether that ends romantically or not.

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On 4/10/2020 at 9:44 PM, TripleA said:

I think women tend to express their desire for romantic love much more than guys do 

In respect of romance gender roles differ hugely. Thus asking anything along the lines of "Are men or women more romantic" can be apples and oranges.

On 4/10/2020 at 9:44 PM, TripleA said:

so if we so happen to be absent of that, we are maybe more likely to express our absence of romantic desire, especially when fending off creepy men. We basically have to come out to try and avoid guys hitting on us. 

Part of gender role difference is that women are expected to be "hit on" whilst men are expected to do the "hitting on". 
Something I don't recall being asked is how do allos feel about "hitting on" someone they are not romantically attracted to along with how likely they are to do this.

It's very clear being "hit on" romantically is perceived differently depending on if there is romantic attraction or not. (Including third party bystanders.) Shown in this video
.
I think it's, also, worth asking if aros, especially cis heterosexual ones, want to retain these kind of roles/behaviour for non romantic relationships.

On 4/11/2020 at 5:58 PM, nonmerci said:

Men also have this pressure, but they are also supposed to enjoy sex without romance, contrary to women...

Having seen plenty of hyper romance from men of all sexual orientations I wonder if this is better described as being 'less unacceptable'..
I'm sure I recall a post here from a hetero aro woman expressing frustration at being unable to find men interested in romance free sex whilst also having to "fending off" those interested in her romantically.

Complicating this whole issue is that it's socially normative to conflate romance and sex. Potentially to the point where perioriented allos may be completely unaware when they only experience sexual (or romantic) attraction. Indeed exclusive varioriented people, such as allo aros, can take years to decades to realise this.

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15 hours ago, Mark said:

Shown in this video

that was hilarious and so true in highlighting the issues involved in attraction and romance. The girls can't/don't explain it but clearly think the guy should understand automatically that there is 'clearly' a difference. 

As for why there are many more women than men on the site, well anything I say would be guessing and making wild assumptions based on stereotypes. probably. 

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17 hours ago, Apathetic Echidna said:

that was hilarious and so true in highlighting the issues involved in attraction and romance. The girls can't/don't explain it but clearly think the guy should understand automatically that there is 'clearly' a difference. 

It's notable that many people commenting on the video will insist that something much be different. Even if it happened off screen.

17 hours ago, Apathetic Echidna said:

As for why there are many more women than men on the site, well anything I say would be guessing and making wild assumptions based on stereotypes. probably. 

This is the case across social media.

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