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Prom Season


peridotty
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I was homeschooled. A homeschool group I was in had something that was just a big party the first few years I was in it. As years progressed, it became more and more like a prom. I went the first few years I was in the group. One year, someone mentioned at the party that they had been ASKED to it, and I was so glad no one had pursued me and asked me! The next year, I was really worried someone would try to ask me to it. After a few years, I decided it was too prom-like and stopped going. 

 

I was also encouraged by my mom and friends to take ballroom dance for a year. It was fun sometimes, but I never really got comfortable with it, and I always had a feeling that there was something going on that I didn't understand. 

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Quinoa - I was also home schooled, I simply tagged along to my non-home schooled friends prom. Technically I was one of my single friends dates according to the ridiculous waver it took to get me in there. I actually had to present a copy of my birth certificate to be allowed in the door. 

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14 hours ago, xavo said:
  • heteronormativity
  • cisnormativity
  • "goodnight sweetheart, well it's time to go"

and worst of all

  • double reed instruments

Nobody should have to put up with any of this. Heteronormativity, cisnormativity, and double reeds all in one place is just too much. 

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Junior prom was a nightmare. I studied in a high school full of privileged individuals (some of them were daughters of the top 1% in our country)-- basically, majority of them were way above our country's rather high poverty line. Imagine what happens when you let the 4% plan the school prom.

 

You know how much prom tickets were? $100. Obviously that didn't even include hair, makeup, dresses, etc. And the thing was, you were already paying for two. We weren't allowed to go stag because? for some reason? going stag means you're lesbian?? (this was Catholic school by the way idk why I was surprised but I was in tears out of sheer frustration) So going back to the part where many of us were super rich, my friends and I did some digging and found out that some people spent $700 to $4,000 to get their dresses made. I managed to have one made for $60 but that still pissed me off immensely. Because I gave in to peer pressure, I was saddled with a large debt to my mom (I really owe her a lot for dealing with my selfish shit), a boringass date (he was nice but he was quiet and was on facebook 3/4 of the time), and just an overall shitty time.

 

The people who put the prom together didn't even have a lick of common sense so the entire event was just a way to show off how much money everyone had.

 

Good thing was, I went to prom with great friends.

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My prom wasn't anything special. The entire time I stuck with my best and only friend in the world who came in a suit. I made more of an effort to socialise with the rest of my classmates since it would be the last time some of us would see each other. But it didn't change the fact that they were always too loud, too boisterous and totally not our types.

 

It was a bit scary cause my aro aceness was kinda obvious. A lot of people were kissing so we had to move a couple of times. We had people inquring why neother me or my friend had a date. On top of all that, before the prom both me and my bestie decided to cut our hair short and she decided to come in a suit. Before we went she was actually worried that people might think we're dating or that she was a lesbian because stereotypes. It didn't help when someone commented that we 'had guts' to cut our hair short.

 

Even though at the time I was already comfortable with my ace identity I still felt like I was the odd one out. There were as much guys as girls and I felt absolutely nothing for any if them. I still couldn't understand what my classmates meant by 'hot' and I didn't really understand their romantic feelings.

 

But wait there's more!

 

 

After prom my grandma wanted to see the pictures we took (we took some really lovely pics). She didn't exactly aprove of my friend wearing the suit 😐

 

Everything has changed so fast, just a few months ago we were still in class studying for O levels, nor really caring about what other people thought of us. Ever since our last day of school something changed in my friend. Like I would've never thought about how 'weird' everyone else would see us. She was the one who pointed things out.

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I didn't go to mine (or any of the subsequent formal events at school or uni). Too expensive and I see no point in going alone. Also I was bullied a ton in school and I didn't want to spend an evening with those people. Thankfully there were no repercussions for not going.

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My school has a grade level dance for every year, and usually I don't go, but I decided to go to junior prom just because hey, why not?

It wasn't bad. Kinda fun, actually. At my school, there isn't really a stigma against going without a date (though people WILL ask you why you aren't taking anyone), and a lot of people just bring a friend from another grade level so they can get in, and my school doesn't enforce Hetero Dating Laws(TM), so I guess I'm lucky.

Most of my friends are single and not really interested in dating, and we kind of have an endless anti-PDA crusade going at all times, so we just found a table as far away from the dance floor as possible, and mostly just hung out. When the slow songs came on, we just stood at the back of the room and tried to distract ourselves, and we had fun laughing about it together.

The prom itself was absolutely fine and we even had ice cream, but it was the build up to it that I hated. I'm not comfortable wearing prom dresses and makeup and stuff (other dresses are fine, it's just... prom dresses make me feel really uncomfortable for some reason?), and I really don't like the whole convention of having your family come and take pictures and fawn over you, it just feels like a costume to me and kinda makes me think a little too hard about how deep in the aro/ace closet I am outside of my closest friends...

But one of my best friends hates that kind of stuff just like I do, so we decided to just pull through it together.

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On 7/17/2016 at 2:14 PM, Isaac said:

I'm glad that in Spain there's no tradition like school proms or balls.

 

That's lucky! People who went to school here (the US) always say how sad it is that homeschoolers don't go to the prom, but I'm so glad I avoided that experience, along with the other romantic school events! 

 

There were dances in college. We had a yule ball that I avoided for the first two years and went the last two. I think one of the reasons I was suddenly comfortable going was that I had realized I was aro by then, so I wasn't as confused by everything. At a different event the same year, I also danced with a friend, which was much more comfortable than it ever had been back when I took ballroom dance. 

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20 hours ago, Quinoa said:

 

That's lucky! People who went to school here (the US) always say how sad it is that homeschoolers don't go to the prom, but I'm so glad I avoided that experience, along wit the other romantic school events! 

 

There was actually a really large homeschool group in my area when I was a teen, and they held a homeschool prom, which I avoided.  I remember being confused that everyone else didn't seem to see the lack of prom as a benefit of being homeschooled like I did. 

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