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Hello, hello! I'm Kzupir, an aromantic asexual, but I haven't always identified this way. In fact, I only realized I was aromantic and asexual this year. I've been doing a lot of soul searching, y'see. 

 

I identified as asexual for a while in my early teens because I did not want sex, but switched to homosexual when I conflated my sexual fantasies with actual sexual attraction to men, which I never experienced. When I realized I couldn't experience sexual attraction, I finally accepted that being ace is who I am. 

 

My aromantic identity came after a harder struggle. I have dated twice before, and while I had fun, I always felt disconnected to my partners. I loved calling them my boyfriend and significant other, but I did not want to kiss them, cuddle them, or say typical romantic things with them. In hindsight, I just saw them as my best friend with the boyfriend/significant other  label tacked on. And it wasn't the romance that I liked. It was the feeling of being special to them. 

 

A few years later, I developed a "crush" on my new best friend. I was so upset about this because I thought I wanted more with her. I felt so strongly about her that I even cried a few times after she told me she didn't want a relationship with me. But throughout all this, I still didn't want to do romantic things with her. I just wanted to support her, live with her, and be with her. And suddenly, I had an epiphany. How the hell is this any different from wanting to be her best friend? It wasn't. 

 

When I realized I was aromantic, I felt so relieved. Things made sense. Why I never wanted to do romantic things, why I even felt uncomfortable with the prospect of romance associated with me, why I never understood romance in movies, why I confused romance with a deep friendship. 

 

Now that I know it's okay not to want more in my relationship with my "crush," I am so much happier. I am excited to see who her actual boyfriend (or girlfriend, or significant other) will be. I will always support her and be with her, even if it's not romantically, and that's just how I like it. 

 

Thanks for reading my story. Cheers!

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I relate to this so much that it's insane but I dunno if I am ace + aro because of my tendencies to already be a socially awkward and introverted person so perhaps that is what is preventing me from feeling any sexual or romantic desires. Plus I'm scared that my friends will think I'm just looking to be 'unique' and to be like my other ace friend if I come out. 

 

Well I'm happy that u now understand it life and I wish well for u in the future 😊

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On 7/19/2019 at 1:26 PM, Kzupir said:

And it wasn't the romance that I liked. It was the feeling of being special to them. 

 

I can heavily relate to this!! I came to the same realization at some point and even worded it the same way. Not sure if I'm aromantic or grey-aro, though. It's great to finally figure yourself out!!

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On 7/19/2019 at 9:26 PM, Kzupir said:

When I realized I was aromantic, I felt so relieved. Things made sense. Why I never wanted to do romantic things, why I even felt uncomfortable with the prospect of romance associated with me, why I never understood romance in movies, why I confused romance with a deep friendship. 

 

^^^ THIS 

Love the mindblowing moment, lol

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