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DannyFenton123

What is Friendship?

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What defines a friend to you? Personally, it's a little diffiult for me: I can have somebody I enjoy being around and would trust, but I'm very hesitant to call them a friend unless they call me a friend.

 

How do you make friends?

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A friend for me is someone who I find familiar and have fun hanging out with, and if I asked them for help they would actually help.

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Someone who I care deeply about; someone who cares deeply about me. Someone who I can be myself around; someone who is willing to be themselves around me. A mirror, and a reflection. Someone who can see through me and understand, someone who I can see through and understand. Someone who I can challenge to grow as a person, and someone who challenges me to grow as a person. 

 

EDIT: How to make friends. It usually...just...happens for me. Usually, I don't actively seek out friendship; I'll usually meet people through mutual acquaintances, talk to them about random past experiences that we can both relate to, until we're completely comfortable in each others' company. When I do actively seek out friendship, I tend to initiate conversation online first. I'll try to find a creative way to say hello, either with a shitty MS Paint drawing, a GIF, or maybe an appropriate question, depending on where we met (like if we met at a party, I'd ask them how late they stayed up last night.).

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A friend is chosen family.

 

Someone who has a deep understanding of you, someone who sees you without the masks you wear on the daily basis.

 

Someone who can, and who will say, dammit, stop what you doing and look at this mess you made/about to make, while everybody else just politely ignores it.

 

A friend is someone that connected to you not by convenience, but by decision. Even though you both have to make an effort to make it work, you have no trouble connecting, the gears just fit together.

 

A friend is someone who will still sticks around when you are an absolute mess, not because they are expecting things from you but because they care.

 

 

How do I make friends? Its not something you do, not really. I have been lonely before, and this coworker really wanted to be friends, so I went along with it put in loads of effort. It did not work out. Our views of the world mismatched quite a bit, and when we had  longer conversations, I was often upset for a day. We both have different jobs now, and we do not talk at all.

Another friend of mine I met at uni, I spotted them, and just knew they would be my friend. Even though we are quite different people, it just clicked, like we knew each other for ages. They have this weird, symbolic way of talking when the topic is important, but it would sound mundane if we used any other words. And I understood them, it just made perfect sense. And others just did not.

 

Yeah, so the important part of making a friend isn't what you do. Its noticing that familiar vibe when they are around. Of course, you have a better chance making a friend when you do something you love, but even that isn't necessarily a requirement.

 

 

(Is this really off topic? @DannyFenton123 was this meant to be a satire topic or something? Are we doing it wrong?:eyebrow:)

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4 hours ago, Cassiopeia said:

(Is this really off topic? @DannyFenton123 was this meant to be a satire topic or something? Are we doing it wrong?:eyebrow:)

No. It didn't look like it fit in any of the other forums :)

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5 hours ago, DannyFenton123 said:

No. It didn't look like it fit in any of the other forums :)

Fair enough :D Isn't friendship like an...aromantic relationship though?  (Sorry I'm not trying to pick a fight, I just really like this discussion and I don't want it to die because its been buried under the Arcade posts)

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Friends are people you like to be around. You can hold deep/intellectual conversations with them. With friends you don't need to be afraid of judgement and can be open and honest with them. You're there for them and they're there for you.

 

Not to be confused with acquaintances with whom you can enjoy being around, but you don't know them as well and you would definitely hesitate to share your more personal thoughts with.

 

And I don't make friends very well. I very often judge books by their cover, and if people seem too intimidating, I won't talk to them. I've been the kid eating lunch alone a lot because of this, but after a while I tend to find a really good group of friends. It just seems to happen sometimes. Sometimes I make a point to talk to someone because they seem cool and I want to be their friend.

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To me friends are first of all people I truly trust, people I can tell anything and know they wont judge me for it. And I'm really not a person who trusts and opens up easily. But friends also means to stay in frequent contact and spending time together (as far as that's possible. I believe you can be friends even if you live hours apart). But most importantly a friend is someone to me who I know is always there for me when I need them ^_^ And probably more that I can't think of right now.

 

P.s.: I also wondered why it was here and not in Aromantic Relationships, but then again friendship is not exclusive to aromanticism, so I'm not sure if it fits there... :eyebrow:

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3 hours ago, Cassiopeia said:

Fair enough :D Isn't friendship like an...aromantic relationship though?  (Sorry I'm not trying to pick a fight, I just really like this discussion and I don't want it to die because its been buried under the Arcade posts)

That's fine. I just don't think the description of the forum really matches the discussion:

 

How does aromanticism or greyromanticism affect the types of relationships you have in your life?

 

So a topic I would think more suited to that forum would be something like 'What does friendship mean to you as an arospec?' Here we're just talking about friends, not necessarily about how they relate to us being aromantic.

Though I can certainly see your point that it might belong better in Aromantic relationships. if you guys really do think it's in the wrong place, I'd be happy to move it ;)

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I think this thread is fine here, as it's not too focused on friendships as an aro-spec person.

 

I'm not all too hesitant to call someone a friend, basically just someone who I enjoy spending time with/talking to, whereas a close friend is someone I know I can trust, talk to for longer, talk to about more personal stuff and more things in common.

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Friends are people who I'm fully comfortable with in one-on-one situations, and have no problem opening up to. There are people I've hung out with for years who aren't really friends because I don't have a connection with them outside the group.

 

I don't really know how to make friends as an adult, unfortunately. They all pretty much come from one friend who I happened to take the same route home from school with, as long strings of friends of friends originating from her. Even my internet friends were friends of RL friends.

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