Jump to content
YXSHINN

Am I biromantic or aromantic?

Recommended Posts

A short description of me to help;

-I'm female.

-I'm 16.

-I'm asexual for SURE.

-I've never experienced romantic attraction YET. 

-The only thing I've experienced was alterous attraction, so I only wanted to be closer with someone emotionally, not romantically. That was when I was 11.

-I always feel disconnected from romance when I think about, but I really want to experience it.

-I don't mind being with a girl or a boy romantically.

-I don't experience sexual attraction, but I'm sex-indifferent, not repulsed.

-I would have sex with my partner if they wanted to.

-I want to get married, but can't see myself getting married when imagining it.

 

At this moment I'm on another journey figuring out my romantic orientation, now dangling somewhere between gray-biromanticism and aromanticism. 

I've never fallen in love before and I can only imagine. I don't know what it feels like, I only know that it makes people extremely happy and causesthem to have butterflies in the stomach and all that. 

 

It's quite odd since I first identified as heteroromantic, but then I started to have fantasies about being in relationships with girls (both sexually and romantically). The sexual part kind of made me uncomfortable, but I didn't necessarily dislike it from a romantic perspective. 

 

I also think I'm gray-biromantic because my attraction to boys and girls seem to be equally as weak/near to nonexistent.

 

But the thing is, I've never had a crush before (not on guys nor girls) so I wouldn't know. I've never looked at someone and thought, "Yeah, I could date them."

 

This whole crushing and falling in love thingy seems absolutely wonderful. When I asked people to describe romantic attraction, they described it as the most heavenly, unearthly thing ever and it honestly seems so nice, but I just can't relate at all. I want to, but I don't. I don't feel a damn thing.

 

The only thing I've experienced was alterous attraction, that was when I was 11.

 

I confessed to a boy that I "liked" him, however my 11 year old self said, "I like you, but I don't want to be your girlfriend, I don't want to have anything with you. I just like you as a person."

 

Looking back at that, maybe that was an early sign showing I'm aromantic?

 

But now, I'm hanging between this odd space of gray(romantic)-biromanticism and aromanticism and I just don't know anymore. I've also thought about being a bi-oriented aroace, but I kind of keep that aside.

 

Any advice?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's your identity, man. I mean, you sound aro to me, but who am I to label you? Only you can decide what you want to call yourself.

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You seem to talk about liking the idea of romance, but has it all been either in your head or from what friends have told you? I just ask because many people here struggle with fantasies about being in a relationship (I say struggle because they know they are aromantic and have repulsions to at least some of the things their brain wants them to do). The mind is a tricky thing. I would say try a relationship to see what happens but if you have indifferent or neutral reactions it might just make you feel more confused...but it might clear up some stuff? 

 

If we go by aromantic being lack of attraction, you do sound aromantic, but if you are uncomfortable claiming that label then don't. If you start a relationship though you should definitely warn the person that you are unsure about your romantic spectrum and so you might react differently than they might expect. 

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, Apathetic Echidna said:

You seem to talk about liking the idea of romance, but has it all been either in your head or from what friends have told you?

 

It has been more in my head, I fantasize a lot about it. When my friends talk about it, I'm kind of indifferent and I wish most of the time that I could tell them that it makes me a bit uncomfortable talking about romance or boys etc.

 

4 hours ago, Apathetic Echidna said:

If you start a relationship though you should definitely warn the person that you are unsure about your romantic spectrum and so you might react differently than they might expect.

 

Yes, I will. Thanks for the advice, I appreciate it very much.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am kind of in the same position, I feel completely neutral to both sexes, but right now I am just classifying myself as aro, but I am open to this changing

You (if you want)  can classify yourself as lithromantic, meaning you can feel romantic attraction but haven't, only in theory.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

5 hours ago, anyareads said:

You (if you want)  can classify yourself as lithromantic, meaning you can feel romantic attraction but haven't, only in theory.

I seem to match different identities on the aro-spectrum, cupioromantic seems to fit me too. But thank you very much!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I’m exactly the same woah! I really want a relationship as people describe it as an amazing feeling and I hate missing out:(( but I just don’t feel anything and it’s frustrating, when people want to be romantic with me I just get bored:// so I think I’m cupioromantic and I kinda hate it

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 3/7/2019 at 2:20 AM, anyareads said:

You (if you want)  can classify yourself as lithromantic, meaning you can feel romantic attraction but haven't, only in theory.

I thought lithromantic means you feel romantic attraction but it vanishes if the person reciprocate? Or I confuse with something else?

 

You sound aro to me too, probably cupioromantic. You don't have to be romance repulsed to be aro. And you can try a romantic relationship if you want, if you tell the person about your doubts. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That's sounds like stuff I've gone through and I'm AceAro. Except, I've had crushes and fallen in love before(but it was recently revealed that I made myself do that because I was bored and the emotions are entertaining).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...