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Aromanticism and Religion


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1 hour ago, Atlamillia Pixie said:

Apologizes if some of the content was offensive to anyone.

I don't think your content was offensive- But I do think it would be important for you to learn about religions other than white conservative Christianity. You seem to be equating "religion" with white conservative Christianity, and while I do agree that that particular type of religion has done a lot of harm, it is by far not the only type of religion out there. To use "religion" as a synonym for white conservative Christianity is another form of glorifying white conservative Christianity, as it implies that other religions are not real religions or simply do not exist, and white conservative Christianity is the only "true" religion. Many of the things you described do not exist in other religions, or at least not in the same form.

For example, did you know abortion is allowed within Judaism- And, in fact, to criminalize abortion would be to deny Jewish women their religious freedom? Did you know that I, someone who is very religious, grew up being told I'm going to hell for being a devil worshipper? Did you know that many pagan traditions do contain stories of homosexuality and unusual gender concepts? Did you know that in medieval times, there were many Islamic scientists and mathematicians who were incredibly ahead of their time and made many contributions to science? Did you know that just a few days ago was Holocaust Remembrance Day, a day in which we honor the millions of people who were killed for their religion during the Holocaust?

By all means, be angry about the things white conservative Christianity has done. But do not call the rest of us the same as them.

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I'm an eclectic Pagan. My parents run a nondenominational Pagan church so I've always been very involved with that community, and honestly church is the only place I've ever met other aro spec people 

So I know this community isn't super big which is why this post is not about a specific religion. But that's okay! Because I'd love to see what Religion most members of the community identify with. Co

I don't think your content was offensive- But I do think it would be important for you to learn about religions other than white conservative Christianity. You seem to be equating "religion" with whit

1 hour ago, Jot-Aro Kujo said:

I don't think your content was offensive- But I do think it would be important for you to learn about religions other than white conservative Christianity. You seem to be equating "religion" with white conservative Christianity, and while I do agree that that particular type of religion has done a lot of harm, it is by far not the only type of religion out there. To use "religion" as a synonym for white conservative Christianity is another form of glorifying white conservative Christianity, as it implies that other religions are not real religions or simply do not exist, and white conservative Christianity is the only "true" religion. Many of the things you described do not exist in other religions, or at least not in the same form.

For example, did you know abortion is allowed within Judaism- And, in fact, to criminalize abortion would be to deny Jewish women their religious freedom? Did you know that I, someone who is very religious, grew up being told I'm going to hell for being a devil worshipper? Did you know that many pagan traditions do contain stories of homosexuality and unusual gender concepts? Did you know that in medieval times, there were many Islamic scientists and mathematicians who were incredibly ahead of their time and made many contributions to science? Did you know that just a few days ago was Holocaust Remembrance Day, a day in which we honor the millions of people who were killed for their religion during the Holocaust?

By all means, be angry about the things white conservative Christianity has done. But do not call the rest of us the same as them.

You are right about me equating "religion" with conservative christianity and I am wrong to do so, however where I am from it is the most popular form of religion and it is hard to separate the two sometimes. I know that other religions are a lot more peaceful a relaxed about stuff. Those religions I have no beef with and I should change what language I use to reflect as such. I am learning to let go of my angry towards conservative christianity (because it's not healthy in the long run) and trying to be more productive. It's slow process, but I'm getting there. 

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34 minutes ago, Atlamillia Pixie said:

You are right about me equating "religion" with conservative christianity and I am wrong to do so, however where I am from it is the most popular form of religion and it is hard to separate the two sometimes. I know that other religions are a lot more peaceful a relaxed about stuff. Those religions I have no beef with and I should change what language I use to reflect as such. I am learning to let go of my angry towards conservative christianity (because it's not healthy in the long run) and trying to be more productive. It's slow process, but I'm getting there. 

I get that, and I wish you the best of luck. In a situation like that, there are some things you can do that can help you heal, and help you avoid accidentally making statements that can be just as harmful as some things Christians say.

1. Educate yourself about other religions. Read up on the basics of other religions, and if you know folks who participate in other religions, ask them directly about their beliefs. Most people are happy to answer questions, so long as you're polite!
2. When you make an assumption about religion, ask yourself- Where does this assumption come from? Where did you first encounter whatever you're thinking about? If it's something you've heard about a religion other than Christianity, did you hear it from people who actually practice that religion, or is it something you heard from Christians or Christian-centric sources (e.g. schools, ex-Christian atheists)? Do you know for certain that this is something most participants in a certain religion believe, or is it only particular groups?
3. This may sound like a strange one, but talk to Christians from other backgrounds, too. I know Christianity as a whole does have some things that can be difficult to accept as a non-Christian, but there's still a huge difference between different groups, and to equate them all can be unfair- This is a mistake I see from many, many non-Christians. To give a common example, saying that all Christians are privileged and totally free to worship is ignorant at best when here in the U.S., there have been many incidents of black churches being subjected to terrorist attacks. I'm not saying that anyone has to stop being uncomfortable with Christianity as a whole, but it is important to know how to talk about that discomfort in ways that don't accidentally promote racism, etc.

Good luck and if you have any questions, I'm happy to answer. I'm a lifelong eclectic pagan myself.

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Hellenic Polytheist here. I am a lot more comfortable in this religion than in Christianity, which I was kind of raised in. Neither of my parents were really religious when I grew up and going to confirmation classes and church services for two years when I was a teenager was more a case of me going through the motions.

Anyhoo, HP has lots of female deities and deities that break traditional norms. I connect a lot with the three virgin deities; Artemis, Athene, and Hestia. Artemis specifically is a queer icon to me because She chose to live in the wood apart from society (cities) and not take a male partner/lover. Her strongest attachment is to Her brother and Her retinue, who may or may not be a band of queer women/lesbians. She's the OG arrow-ace to me and I love Her a lot ;)

Because the HP community is so small, I am also involved with a non-religious church.

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I was raised catholic and I went to a progressive catholic school. I do believe in God, but I do not agree with some aspects of catholic and otherwise christian doctrine, so I simply consider myself a theist. 

I'm learning about other abrahamic religions, but I don't have plans on reverting at the moment.

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  • 1 month later...

I'm an atheist and have been for most my life. Both my parents are religious but 1. they're not super devoted and 2. they have different religions, and I think both those things contributed to why I decided to run my own race when I was still a kid.

I did briefly dip my toes into norse paganism to get more in touch with my roots and with nature and it was a really healing experience. And though I ultimately decided that it's not for me, I think religion overall can be a wonderful thing that brings people together and encourages us to live in the present and be kind. It's frustrating that some conservatives are using it as a shield to hind their own vile, inhumane ideals behind.
I don't think my aromanticism has affected any of my opinions, though. 

 

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Oh it's an old topic! But here is mine : I am a polytheist. Gaulish polytheist to be precise . 

 I don't know if both are linked, (i was aro before being religious) but i am comfortable. 

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  • 5 weeks later...

I am an agnostic and have been for quite a while, however I was raised christian (salvation army by family and a catholic school).

I suppose the big thing for me was that long before I knew the term allo aro I looked at less romantically serious sexual relations in a favourable light. I saw the idea of a friends with benefits style arrangement as something that sounded acceptable, and I began to think of prostitution as something that could be a sensible transaction, rather than seeing it as bad. I also became very aware of the difference between considered, thought out though non romantic relationships and casual sex as thought of by those religious leaders who had the platform to preach to me. This was not a smooth ride.

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I'm atheist, born and raised. I don't think it had any effect on my experience of aromanticism, except perhaps having benefited from the lack of religious hangups about orientations and what is allowed or expected.

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hi there. I'm Catholic, and I'm only thirteen. I go to a catholic school where i'm surrounded with other kids that share my religion. I sometimes feel embarassed to admit to my friends about my sexuality because i'm worried about how it will affect my faith. One thing that makes me uncomfortable, however, is that there are some people around me that have "relationships" with each other. Does anyone have any advice for me on how to deal with telling people that i'm different? and again, I'm worried about if I can be both catholic and quoiromantic at the same time...

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I'm culturally Catholic/Christian and back then aromanticism was definitely an issue because it was super emphasized to not date until you met someone you could see yourself marrying, to not have sex before marriage, and to not get married to anyone you weren't 100% in love with. Even for lgbt Christians the only reason any of us were conditionally, sometimes, accepted was that we could still fall in love. And I still think that's super important for lgbt Christians who aren't aro and it's not a bad thing for that reason, but where does that leave those who are aro? What if you can't fall in love?

That said it was never just aromanticism that was an issue. It was also being a nonbinary bi girl in a misogynistic, homophobic, transphobic slut shaming society where having or wanting casual sex - ANY sex in my case - meant you were broken and a whore and an unrepentant sinner, but nobody said a goddamn word about it to aros who were cishet men. When my straight aro cousin told my fundamentalist christian aunt she was aro, my aunt just said "oh okay" and dropped the subject.

Now, I identify as pagan and still mix in some Christianity and it's really not an issue anymore. There are obviously homophobes and transphobes but nobody cares if you feel romantic attraction.

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I might've picked the wrong option in the poll, I do not believe in a God, but I do consider myself to be a taoist.

It was an odd experience when I picked up a book for fun (tao te ching) and realised that everything I felt was in line with an old philosophy from China.

 

ETA:
For some reason I completely forgot to answer the other question.
I was raised very neutral. My mother is christian and I was sent to some child activities they had at church when I was very small, they would also read a child-friendly version of the bible. I never believed, the day I realised that others believed in the stories I said it out loud that I didn't (I was 5 I think), and that was it. I have not had anyone else really affect my beliefs, no one really spoke of them other than during religion classes in school.
I've never been religious, but I do feel quite spiritual, aligned with nature.

My upbringing might be the reason why I don't understand/feel gender, me and my brothers were all treated the same way. I'm not too sure about that though, how much is nature and how much is nurture is quite hard to guess, but I'm 100% sure it has not affected my sexual or romantic orientation.

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I am atheist. I think that my atheist view haven't really affected my life, but religion in general has. I was raised catholic, but my family in general is divided on religion. With some catholic family, some jewish family, and one of my parents being atheist, I think that I just disliked the pressure and stress of religion and I didn't really believe the stories anyways. I decided not to get confirmed to the church (I'm so happy that I was able to choose). My beliefs did kind of just fade with time, but I feel like it was just one event after another that changed my beliefs for good. At some point we had not gone to church in a while and I prayed a bit in tough times, and nobody answered. I feel like that was the end for me.

I also think that being aromantic had a huge effect on why I became atheist too. In the catholic church, I feel like there is such a big pressure to get married in the church, and honestly, as an aromantic person, to me, getting married is not a huge sacrament that the church makes it, it is just like a legal agreement. Also, I think that parts of the church (not all, just some parts of it) invalidate LGBT communities and I just don't want to be a part of that. 

 

 

 

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6 hours ago, Bluebird said:

I also think that being aromantic had a huge effect on why I became atheist too. In the catholic church, I feel like there is such a big pressure to get married in the church, and honestly, as an aromantic person, to me, getting married is not a huge sacrament that the church makes it, it is just like a legal agreement. Also, I think that parts of the church (not all, just some parts of it) invalidate LGBT communities and I just don't want to be a part of that. 

I can relate with this. The strict (patriarcal) view on family and LGBT pushed me out of the church too.

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i'm agnostic/atheistic. i was raised jewish, and it is still very much part of my identity, but it's more of a cultural thing to me than a religious thing. unfortunately, a lot of the people around me were former white christains and carried a lot of the more... pernicious beliefs with them. i avoid them now.

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