Masturdating

[paporomantic]

I've given the concept another thought and realized that, to be a total analog of masturbation, daturbation* can be defined in an extended way - as any solitary activity done with the purpose of relieving one's 'romantic drive' ('romantic libido', the urge to have the same hormonal 'chemistry' as the one triggered by partnered romance). This includes fantasizing and fictoromance and doesn't need to emulate the 'standard' dating rituals, much like masturbation often doesn't emulate sex.

 

There are aces who masturbate, and I'd say that daturbation doesn't disqualify from being aro as long as there's no desire to have a real romantic encounter with a particular real person.

 

* That's another way to alter the word 'masturbation' whose advantage is that it doesn't include the word 'turd'. I'd like to invent a better word for this concept, though, because romance is not necessarily dating. Alas 'romantic masturbation' ('rommasturbation' and the likes) is a label used in the porn industry (according to Google search), so I need a sigtnificantly different word.

[paporomantic]

'Amorbation' (with an 'amorgasm' being its highest point) sounds like an OK term.

 

Ways to 'service oneself romantically' that aren't fantasies about doing romance with a real person include:

 

- crushing on a celebrity, exposure to whom can be avoided if needed;

- crushing on existing fictional or historical characters;

- creating an OC to crush on (fortunately, 'Galatea' won't turn into a human in reality);

- synthesizing an OC from several real people, combining their desirable features but free of their undesirable ones.

 

The key is that fantasies should be had in moderation and their objects have to be inaccessible in reality and easy to forget, otherwise the thinking can become too intrusive or possessive (limerence).

 

The idea is to acquire new relationship energy without the hassle of bonding with a real person.

 

In popular culture, such experiments are usually shown to end in 'falling in love' with a real human who resembles the OC but I think this can be avoided if one clearly draws the distinction between the ideal OC and the real humans who're always imperfect in unpredictable ways. Making the OC unhuman (a furry etc.) is another way to avoid such issues.

 

Fictoromanticism is often classified as a type of grey romanticism but it's 'functionally aro' (in the sense that it normally doesn't affect the interactions with other living creatures).

[Midnightrune]

Lunch is the only period where I can be more than two meters away from another human being.

 

Of course I'm spending it alone! 

 

But I prefer to watch movies with friends, because they somehow keep me grounded. Like, if I'm alone, I usually lose myself in the fantasy or get super emotionally invested? But with people around, I'm far more alert regarding things happening around me, and more watchful of how I behave, which results in me being very rational and much less emotional.

[Apathetic Echidna]

On 11/06/2016 at 11:43 AM, paporomantic said:

'Amorbation' (with an 'amorgasm' being its highest point) sounds like an OK term.

 

Ways to 'service oneself romantically' that aren't fantasies about doing romance with a real person include:

 

- crushing on a celebrity, exposure to whom can be avoided if needed;

- crushing on existing fictional or historical characters;

- creating an OC to crush on (fortunately, 'Galatea' won't turn into a human in reality);

- synthesizing an OC from several real people, combining their desirable features but free of their undesirable ones.

 

The key is that fantasies should be had in moderation and their objects have to be inaccessible in reality and easy to forget, otherwise the thinking can become too intrusive or possessive (limerence).

LoL! 

Though if you want to use this the addition of a Autochorissexual/Aegosexual type variant to romantic type amorbation would be useful. So within a fictional framework watching, as a distanced observing party, a romance unfold but not imagining or fantasising personal participation. I must say I read romance and enjoy it sometimes, but when I watch most romance I generally get a feeling of smug superiority, not all the time! ^{but a fair amount of the time}    Would they both be amorbation?

 

 

I don't feel bad or odd doing things by myself, recently I went to a Royal Show (which for non-Aussies would be like an amusement park mixed with a country fair) by myself. I could do exactly what I wanted, when I wanted and it was great! I also travelled for months by myself and I didn't realise how freeing it was until I travelled with friends. I completely don't understand people who say they would never go to a restaurant by themselves. 

[Untamed Heart]

I go nearly everywhere by myself - shopping, eating out, and the cinema - though that's rare as there's not usually much on I really must see. I usually go with a friend or my sister in law, but I did see How To Train Your Dragon 2 by myself. 

I don't really get why a fancy dinner is inherently romantic, but maybe I've just enjoyed eating out way more when it's been by myself or with family/friends. The few times I did eat out with a boyfriend were kinda crappy.