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You might be aro if...


Robin

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YMBAI when someone expresses concern that you might feel left out or dissappointed because you aren't in a romantic relationship but they and/or others are, you are confused because you're doing just fine as you are and you hadn't even considered it.

 

YMBAI you just sit there indifferently while people around you go in and out of relationships.

 

YMBAI you just ignore Valantines Day every year because it's a couples holiday and you never have a partner on that day, and this never bothers you.

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YMBAI allowing yourself to experience discomfort in romantic situations, and/or getting out of these situations actually feels liberating.

 

I have consented to so many things I did not really want or enjoy but because I was taught that I was supposed to want and enjoy them, so I kind of sucked it up and went along with it. Sometimes because I did not know any better, sometimes because I did not want to hurt someone.

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  • 2 weeks later...

YMBAI you don't understand why tiny things like holding hands are so important to many people (The Beatles wrote an ENTIRE song about holding hands!). 

YMBAI it took you awhile to realize it's easy for most people to tell if they have a crush on someone. 

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Quote

YMBAI when someone expresses concern that you might feel left out or dissappointed because you aren't in a romantic relationship but they and/or others are, you are confused because you're doing just fine as you are and you hadn't even considered it.

 

I know that one very well.

I could add: YMBAI you're at your best friend's wedding and feel very happy for her, and happy for you, too, because you are single. And of course YMBAI you never imagine how your own wedding will be, not even completely theoretical ("I would have my wedding gown such and such"), because you really know, regardless of any external decision you may or may not have taken, that you will never marry.

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YMBAI you needed to pause movies and take 10-15 minute breaks because you felt weirdly fidgety when a kissing scenes started.

 

YMBAI if when trying to think about what kind of theoretical wedding you would like, you negotiate so much, you basically end up with a non-wedding.

 

(younger me was so vaguely uncomfortable with the whole thing, I kept making lists of things I don't want. like nah, I'm not going to wear white. no long dresses or tuxes...just boots and jeans and a band t-shirt? nah, I don't want any flowers on me or in my hair. no decorations? nah, I don't want any guests. especially no religious or any other type of official marriage person saying big words. and not going to tell my family, only when its done so they can't make a fuss. we will just like go to the pub, sign some papers or whatever, and go on a holiday? can we sign for five years? maybe ten, that is still foreseeable-ish? can I keep my own room and bed tho? how do people even do this? 717110.gif)

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13 hours ago, Cassiopeia said:

YMBAI you needed to pause movies and take 10-15 minute breaks because you felt weirdly fidgety when a kissing scenes started.

You have no idea how happy I am to hear that other people do this :D I drive my sister up the wall when we watch films together because I don't feel like I can pause it so I wonder off and leave her by herself instead.

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9 hours ago, RedNeko said:

You have no idea how happy I am to hear that other people do this :D I drive my sister up the wall when we watch films together because I don't feel like I can pause it so I wonder off and leave her by herself instead.

I just usually have a book or internet with me and I ignore the romantic crap. :P

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YMBAI you were curious as to why there were so many songs about love or sex on the radio.

 

I realized when I was little that there were so many songs about love and my reaction was kinda:

"Why can't people write about anything else? Love is so boring. You can write songs about literally anything, and the one thing people choose is love 90% of the time!"

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3 minutes ago, Spud said:

YMBAI you were curious as to why there were so many songs about love or sex on the radio.

 

I realized when I was little that there were so many songs about love and my reaction was kinda:

"Why can't people write about anything else? Love is so boring. You can write songs about literally anything, and the one thing people choose is love 90% of the time!"

My mom told me a certain song I liked was about love.
My reaction was "EWWW no it's not!!" :P

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42 minutes ago, Spud said:

I realized when I was little that there were so many songs about love and my reaction was kinda:

"Why can't people write about anything else? Love is so boring. You can write songs about literally anything, and the one thing people choose is love 90% of the time!"

 

I still feel this way....I don't mind love songs per se, but I do get annoyed that they account for the vast majority of popular songs.

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YMBAI you just noticed that the other kids had already started dating, like you saw on TV, when you were like 15 (I was, and am, kinda antisocial).

 

YMBAI you really loved the ending of Pacific Rim because the romantic interest couple didn't kiss, and hugged instead.

 

YMBAI you always loved Disney movies, but never understood all the fuss about love and just accepted it as something invented or exaggerated, since they are fairy tales anyway.

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You might be aromantic if you love this thread as much as I do haha

 

Also you might be aromantic if you have feelings for someone but could never see yourself in a relationship with them.

 

You might be aromantic if you love kids movies because you can escape romantic main plots.

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On 11/04/2016 at 8:44 PM, piplup said:

i remember there was a scene in pirates of the caribbean & elizabeth & will were getting married while fighting pirates???

I remember there was a scene in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows where Ron and Hermione were kissing in the middle of the Battle of Howgarts while their friends were probably dying and there were monsters and death eaters everywhere.

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On 4/16/2016 at 9:06 AM, Cassiopeia said:

YMBAI  that as the actual plot makes no sense to you.

 

How does romantic love reverse neuro damage and re-animate dead tissue? And who wants to cuddle with a walking dead anyway? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

That's just disturbing tbh

YMBAI your friends were dating for four months and you didn't even know until someone told you

YMBAI "Everything I know about m/w relationships comes from romance novels or listening to straight people, so whenever I try to write them it's always really sexualized and awkward (I once picked up the phrase "his stiff manhood" from a book I found at a garage sale for fifty cents when I was eleven and soon proceeded to use it for one of my couples - during a kissing scene). That, or the characters acted just like quasiplatonic partners with the titles of boyfriend and girlfriend because, growing up, that's what I assumed dating was like for everyone."

On 6/2/2016 at 6:17 AM, Nowhere.girl said:

I remember there was a scene in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows where Ron and Hermione were kissing in the middle of the Battle of Howgarts while their friends were probably dying and there were monsters and death eaters everywhere.

Ron's brother died and his sister almost died in that battle.

 

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 5/27/2016 at 4:50 PM, Cassiopeia said:

YMBAI if when trying to think about what kind of theoretical wedding you would like, you negotiate so much, you basically end up with a non-wedding.

 

I remember when I was at a wedding and the bride and groom kissed when people tapped on their glasses. My reaction was "Why do they have to do that? Will I have to do that at MY wedding????"

 

YMBAI you thought mistletoe was a cruel joke to make people kiss each other when you first heard about it, and made a mental note to avoid mistletoe at Christmas parties. EDIT: "And why do people think there's ALWAYS another person there? What happens if you are the only one caught under it?"

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  • 2 weeks later...

459766simskissing.jpg

 

YMBAI you think that the older sim in the background is thinking "Ewwwww gross, get out of MY sandbox !" rather than "Mmmmmh, this reminds me memories :$"

He doesn't seem very happy to see passionate younger adults invading his favourite sandbox anyway xD

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I've played with my simself for years (yes, totally egocentric but it's fun :D) and I intended to keep her single. But I didn't give her the unflirty trait because I wasn't really opposed to anything in general. So after a few weeks, she started having fantasies on her coworkers and friends, and the fantasies got wilder and wilder with time, like passionately kissing her coworker who is a married older lady with plenty of kids, or woohoo with her male gay friend, so I eventually gave her a husband to avoid possible disasters due to her growing desperation.  She isn't quite like me in that regard xD

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you might be aro if you keep trying to be people's friends and then they go to kiss you and you go "whuh?"

 

you might be aro if you are looking for kissing just for the fun of it at a party and someone goes, "but I thought you had feelings for sue" and you go "huh?"

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  • 5 months later...
On 6/30/2016 at 1:51 AM, DannyFenton123 said:

@Rising Sun That reminds me of playing Sims with my friends. They'd be designing the partners of their dreams, and I'd just be trying to kill mine B|

I had pretty elaborate set ups where one Sim would be an imprisoned artist and painted portraits of the cow plant, before eventually being fed to it once they'd got to a high enough level of artistic talent and painted enough portraits to support the remaining household members... ^^" 

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You might be aro if you've ever imagined being married to Batman, and realise he'd be a good husband precisely because you just wouldn't see each other that much, with you being out at work during the day and him fighting crime all night. It's also a bonus if you happen to be ace as well - Batman would probably be too tired or 'have a headache' when he finally gets home from dealing with all those insane villains :P 

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You might be aro if you interpret love songs in a totally platonic friendship kind of way. Except the ones with lyrics that sound too needy or smothering, because that's just weird and creepy.

 

You might be aro if you look away when there are people kissing in movies and TV shows.

 

You might be aro if you get irritated when people who have literally just met suddenly act as if they are the only people in the universe who exist and nothing else matters.

 

You might be aro if you wanted to punch things while being subjected to Romeo and Juliet at school.

 

You might be aro if you've had arguments with people over the meaning of the word 'love' and couldn't understand why other people don't see it the same way.

 

You might be aro if you think "RIP, it was nice knowing you" when one of your friends gets married or finds a new partner.

(I'm starting to think it's better to meet people after they already have one that they're sticking with - at least that way I have a better idea of what to expect in the future).

 

You might be aro if you tried Googling for advice about friends who are being distant, and only found advice relating to romantic partners being distant, and all of their suggestions seem like things that would probably just make it worse.

 

You might be aro if you never liked the words 'boyfriend' or 'girlfriend'. (I cringed just typing that)

 

You might be aro if you could never understand why these things don't seem to bother other people.

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  • Cassiopeia pinned this topic
  • 2 weeks later...

Not sure if this has already been posted here, but:

http://anagnori.tumblr.com/post/69145328274/you-might-be-aromantic-if

 

These are the ones I can relate to most :

 

Quote

 

When you discovered the word “aromantic,” it felt like something finally clicked into place for you.

 

You’re not sure if you’ve ever had a crush on someone or fallen in love.

 

If you’re not asexual, a “friends with benefits” relationship sounds ideal to you.

 

You don’t understand why people do ridiculous, irrational or over-the-top things in the name of love.

 

Getting a romantic partner feels more like fulfilling an obligation, or something you’re supposed to do, than something you’re really enthusiastic about 

 

You’d rather spend Friday night having a sleepover party with your buddies than going out on a date.

 

When you say or do romantic things, it feels like you’re following a script or copying romantic things you’ve seen elsewhere, rather than something spontaneous and natural to you

 

You have trouble imagining romantic activities that you would enjoy, unless those activities are also fun or interesting for you on a platonic or intellectual level.

 

You don’t feel as if you’re missing anything in your life right now; having a romantic partner might be nice, but you don’t need it or seek it out.

 

 

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I actually pasted that list into Word yesterday and highlighted the stuff that definitely applied to me in some way. Red for no, green for yes and pink for sort of. I got 4 reds, 31 greens, and 7 pinks lmao. Here are some of my greens: 

 

When you discovered the word “aromantic,” it felt like something finally clicked into place for you.

Identifying as aromantic makes you feel relieved, free, happy, or more like yourself.

You don’t understand why other people make such a big deal out of having crushes or falling in love.

When a romantic relationship gets serious, it makes you feel cold, distant or uncomfortable.

Your romantic partners always seem to be way more into the lovey-dovey stuff than you are

You have felt suffocated, repressed or tense in a romantic relationship, even though you really liked your partner and they hadn’t done anything wrong.

You want a best friend much more than you want a romantic relationship.

The idea of being single forever sounds awesome to you.

You avoid going places where people are likely to flirt with you, such as bars, parties, nightclubs, and concerts.

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