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breaddd

Arospec!

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So, last year I had my first crush ever.

Yup. Didn't think it would ever happen. It's actually the main reason I was away from arocalypse for so long lmao

It lasted for about a year actually, which I think is very long for a crush. Now though, I don't identify as aromantic. I identify as arospec, which a-okay my duders. I guess this is just a reminder that it's okay to be arospec. The aro community includes so much more than aromanticism (lithromantic, grayromantic, demiromantic, etc.) and everyone deserves to feel accepted here. 

So anyway, the crush is over now and I feel that I would be prefectly fine having no romantic partner whatsoever. Having romantic relationships isn't super important to me I guess.

 

So to all the arospec people, I have a few questions. Did you ever identify as purely aromantic? What made you realize you're arospec? Do you identify with a specific label within the broader term of arospec? I'm curious.

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Honestly the only one I'm really sure about is being wtfromantic, because I don't understand any of it well enough to know if I experience it or not. :rofl: 

 

I think it's probably safe to assume I'm probably at least mostly aro, but I can't really be entirely sure. I'm OK with not being sure though. I'm not sure how it feels to actually be entirely sure. What's it even like to be sure?

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I was identifying as lithromantic, as I usually swing between liking someone then suddenly having almost zero interest in them for no reason. I have had a few crushes where my interest hasn't waned, and even a couple of relationships, but I have to admit I don't trust my own feelings any more when it comes to romance. I think I was a cat in a former life - I only want something when I can't have it!

I'd say I also only want to be with whoever I'm crushing on 3/4 of the time. My nicest crushes were the ones where the other person didn't know, and I was just enjoying the feeling without acting on it at all, with no stress over whether anything would happen.

I still identify as grey, because compared with just about everyone else I know, my romantic feelings, in general, don't seem normal. I was beyond relieved to find out I wasn't the only person who felt so hot/cold!

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On 29/08/2017 at 2:31 AM, breaddd said:

So, last year I had my first crush ever.

Yup. Didn't think it would ever happen. It's actually the main reason I was away from arocalypse for so long lmao

TRAITOR!

(just kidding :D)

 

On 29/08/2017 at 2:31 AM, breaddd said:

So to all the arospec people, I have a few questions. Did you ever identify as purely aromantic? What made you realize you're arospec? Do you identify with a specific label within the broader term of arospec? I'm curious.

 

I didn't even come across the terminology until fairly recently, so I didn't really 'identify' as anything. My motivation to ever pursue anything romantic was pretty much non-existent, but I figured the motivation would surface at some point, once I met 'the right person'. But, as I got older and 'it' never happened, I guess I started to think there could be more to it than that and ended up finding my way here.

 

So, nowadays I mostly identify as aro, but like @SoulWolf I find the entire concept of romance pretty damn confusing! 

 

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15 hours ago, NullVector said:

So, nowadays I mostly identify as aro, but like @SoulWolf I find the entire concept of romance pretty damn confusing! 

For somebody who has achromatopsia (total color blindness) probably something as basic as “color” is damn confusing. Even though we can say much more about it scientifically…

 

For example the fact that we can't perceive “light harmonies” (like in the case of sound) and instead monochromatic red + green with additive mixing looks yellow as does light with a wavelength of 580 nm? => “Well, color vision seems to suck, I guess I'm not missing out much.” :D

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*shrug* Feelings are strange and confusing.

 

I've never had a crush (or for that matter, a squish) and I'm still not entirely sure what romance even means. I love and care very deeply for my friends and my partner, and I don't get what separates that from romance. I don't know what the heck my feelings for my partner are; I don't mind people assuming we're a romantic couple instead of a QPR, though I wish that more people outside of the aro community knew it was a thing. I don't have butterflies in my stomach or get nervous around them, but they make me very happy and I want to make them happy too.

 

I mostly identify as just aromantic, but recently I'm wondering if something like either quoiromantic or demiromantic would fit me. I know either way I'm somewhere on the aro spectrum, I just don't know exactly where or if my feelings "count" as romantic or not. I'm honestly unable to tell the difference between the feelings I have for my partner and for my friends, other than varying intensities, and I'm still not very clear on what even separates romantic relationships from friendships. 

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Recently I've been questioning the extent of my aro-ness, and wondering if I am the rare example of someone who has actually been suppressing their feelings. I find myself wondering if my (former) romance repulsion has contributed to this, and if without it, squishes may have been crushes instead. I suspect that demibiromantic may be a more accurate descriptor but this is hard to explain to allo friends who don't know the lingo, but who I previously told that I was aro.

 

 

thankyou for your post :) 

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