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5amlight

can anyone relate?

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as i've recently discovered, i am aro ace, and the thing about that is is that i don't mind it at all. to an extent. what does annoy me, however, is when someone likes me. a few months ago, my best friend told me someone liked me (and actually it was quite obvious but i refused to believe it) and i was so mad, and asked myself "why me?" 

 

like, i blamed someone for liking me. i'm still kinda mad at him and have the urge to roll my eyes a lot. does anyone feel the same way when someone else has a crush on you?

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When I meet people I'm talking about mildly interesting stuff the whole time so nothing really develops (I don't think) but yeah, I completely understand why you'd think that. I guess it means someone is trying to go from "interesting person to talk to" to "now it's just us". I think 2 is also a lonely number because it could so easily end up feeling like 1.

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Yeah I hate it when people like me romantically. My male friend liked me and because I spent time around him because I wanted to be a closer friend he thought I liked him back and asked me out and painkied and said yes. Worst decision ever. Being with him was terrible not because he was a bad guy I love him just not in that way. The fact I was aro and he thought I liked him tore me to pieces and that mixed with that fact that he was straight and transphobic and I was closeted non binary led so so much bad stuff happening to me mental and in the end pyshically. It was the worst time in my life.

 

I was never mad at him though even though he made me feel terrible and kick start the depression I still have. I still wonder why he liked me of all people. I feel sorry for him. He's a great guy and I hope his current girlfriend is a loving one like I wished I could be to him.

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yeees, this so much. i tend to have many guy friends and i think one of the reasons is that i'm scared they'll like me romantically and things will get awkward. at least with girls the chances are smaller. i would also hate telling them that i don't like them that way, cause that always sucks.

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21 hours ago, hippiecat said:

i tend to have many guy friends and i think one of the reasons is that i'm scared they'll like me romantically and things will get awkward. at least with girls the chances are smaller. i would also hate telling them that i don't like them that way, cause that always sucks.

This is my life. It honestly always ruins friendships when you have to friendzone someone. I hate it, I just want people to like be ok with being ~just~ friends! I know the "why me" feeling exactly :facepalm:

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22 hours ago, meesemouse said:

This is my life. It honestly always ruins friendships when you have to friendzone someone. I hate it, I just want people to like be ok with being ~just~ friends! I know the "why me" feeling exactly :facepalm:

 

and of course when you're at the age where boys start developing hormones and stuff like that you're fucked.

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Just now, 5amlight said:

and of course when you're at the age where boys start developing hormones and stuff like that you're fucked.

I believe it gets better when you get older, but I'm an aro AMAB so I probably know nothing on this subject.

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I usually feel pretty flattered (though like you, suprised), and as long as they're cool not coming on to me (once I politely explain my disinterest) I'll insist on becoming friends :) 

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On 8/7/2017 at 8:03 AM, 5amlight said:

 

and of course when you're at the age where boys start developing hormones and stuff like that you're fucked.

Too true, it seems like the concept of "a girl that is only a friend" no longer exists to them. 

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I can relate to your 'why me' and raise it to a 'how dare you'. It always makes things worse, usually breaking what friendship you had. Or it can hurt your friends if you get caught in a weird triangle situation > worst thing ever. especially when you are not out as aro. and still in high school hell. 

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