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What would you say to your younger self?

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"Do not befriend X" (he's a guy who pretended to be my friend, but all along, he secretly wanted to bang me, to use me like i'm a piece of meat and nothing more, that b*stard) 

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"Stop pretending to be like other teenagers and pretending you're their friends."

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On 21/08/2017 at 5:34 PM, Apathetic Echidna said:

@James answer booklets were non-returnable :( (I assume because they must get drenched in wine as the markers slowly get drunk while marking)

In which case the most important question would be "Red, white or rosé?" followed by "Sparkling?" in some cases.

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I would tell my ten-year-old self "Kid, you have it all figured out. You know exactly what you want - a best friend, a pet snake, and to be a writer. Hang onto that because people are going to spend the next 20 years trying to convince you to want different things."

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Stop trying to get excited by people in swimsuit on movies or pictures,  you are wasting you're time.

This master of philosophy that seems so interesting is not. Run away from it. Run. In fact, run away from university, research is not made for you.

Don't be afraid to be who you are. You May think your humour is strange and that people will find you ridiculous, but you'll find some people that will like it.

Don't be too hard on X when he will ask you out. You may hate him now, but in fact he's nice. He doesn't deserve a "No, sorry", and you getting away like a badass. 

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Elementary school me: 

1. Pardon my French but everyone who keeps telling you that you should have crush can Fuck off! 

2. That’s not a crush it’s a squish you just want to be friends 

3. Romance is cute when others do it but honestly how do you really feel if it was you in that situation? 

 

 

Middle school me: 

1. The reason why you don’t know how you feel about that guy is cause You just want to make out with him not actually be his girlfriend 

2. I know society is making you feel bad for not being in a relationship but I promise you aren’t missing much! 

3. You’re adorable don’t let yourself think otherwise, the tomboy thing is actually quite badass! Own it! 

 

 

 

High school me: 

1. You may be straight in terms of sex, but there’s a reason you have no desire to date anybody 

2. you like attention, not him  

3. No you’re not falling for him either, once again, Sexual attraction 

4. you don’t owe anyone romantic feelings no matter how good they are to you! 

 

 

 

 

College me: 

1. You’re not Bi and you’re not a lesbian you just have a strong squish on her! Go ahead and make friends! 

2. Your anxiety is telling you’re romantically attracted her when you’re not 

3. You don’t love him, you love the sex 

4. You don’t have to stay with him in order to feel ‘normal’ 

5. I think you know deep down that that relationship isn’t going to last and it’s not just cause he’s going nowhere in life! 

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  • No, you're not "more educated than most adults" just because you watch Time Warp Trio, Tutenstein, History's Mysteries, Ancient Almanac, Naked Archaeologist, Mythbusters, etc. You know a lot about history, and you like learning, and that's great! But you don't know how the world works. You don't know how the government works, or how to do algebra,  or anything about many foreign cultures. You'll learn more by not being an asshole than you will by watching the same 30-minute TV shows 20 times. (Oh, and do you know what the Holy Roman Empire is? The bakumatsu? The Cuban missile crisis? Yeah, I didn't think so. Please study something other than the ancient Middle East and Mediterranean sometimes.)
  • Refusing to use slang, emoticons, etc. also doesn't make you smart, and putting other people down especially doesn't make you smart. It just makes you a dick.
  • It's ok to like girly things. It's ok to wear clothes other than sweatpants and t-shirts. You don't have to prove anything to anyone. I know you think you have to assert your dominance over boys by knowing more about Star Wars than they do, but honestly, the idea that "other girls" are stupid, that girly interests make you stupid, etc. is more sexist than any doubts your average 10-year-old homeschooler is going to have about whether or not you know how Chewbacca dies.
  • On that note, I have good news and bad news! The good news is Star Wars 7/8/9 is not just an unattainable fantasy, and will happen much sooner than you think it will. The bad news is it's nothing like what you expect. Don't get too attached to the EU, especially not the Skywalker/Solo family, because they're going bye-bye. Oh, and Avatar and Teen Titans will also get sequels of some manner or another. Don't bother with those either. The future is full of disappointing franchise revivals, kid. But the good news is that the live action Fullmetal Alchemist is great! (Bad news is that Rie Kugimiya isn't in it and it doesn't feature any music by l'Arc~en~Ciel, but you know, it's equivalent exchange.)
  • Yugioh isn't just edgy rich boy Pokemon, it's actually pretty cool. It's about friendship and ancient Egyptian ghosts. Stop refusing to watch it. Wyd
  • Grades on assignment are not the same as your overall grade in a course. "Straight As" does not refer to assignment scores, nor do you need straight As to get into college. Getting a B on a math test does not mean you're doomed to be homeless.
  • Everyone who does something starts out as a beginner at some point. Nobody is born with amazing innate knowledge of anything, so don't hold yourself back from trying new things just because you feel like you need to already know how to do something in order to do it. You don't need to be an Author™ as a career in order to write, you don't need to have an in-depth knowledge of anatomy to draw, you don't need to be Marie Antoinette's tailor in order to sew. (By the way, sewing machines aren't that scary, you just need to not make it go 500 MPH and then you'll be able to actually sew straight lines.)
  • Yes, there is such a thing as Thursday in Japan. Please don't blindly accept everything you read in the comments section of YouTube.
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Yo. Don't use 16personalities.com to read about mbti. Also you're not INFP you're ISFP. Cognitive functions. Look it up. Also stop buying humble bundles all the time it'll make you broke.

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I like this! I have a few things:

 

"Much like @Jot-Aro Kujo, you shouldn't be afraid to be girly."

"Surprise surprise, I actually bloomed (somewhat)! I may not have had the huge transformation I was expecting but I managed to burst out of that bubble. I can even ask for help in a store alone, how about that! So yeah, don't be afraid to get out into the world, it's not as scary as you think."

"Conversely watch yourself around boys, they don't always want to be 'just friends'. I recommend you clear that up early on in your friendships."

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You're allowed to do things just for yourself, even if no one else likes them or will ever see you do them.

 

Not everything is about other people. Don't bend over backwards just to meet small demands of other people.

 

Conversely, not everything is about you. Even if you have trouble with empathy sometimes, you can learn the rules of sympathy and employ that instead. On that note, note that all social interactions can be navigated with scripts! Go out there and listen, and practice until the anxiety goes away.

 

You are allowed to be yourself, and to express your feelings to others. Also, you are allowed to be flawed. Just make sure you are receptive to change when it does come around.

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Dear elementary school me,

You don't have to be a doormat to have friends. It's okay to have opinions and be weird! If you're friends ditch you for that then they aren't good friends. 

Dear middle school me,

You aren't like everyone else. Not just in a ~quirky unique~ way, and that's okay! Also, some people aren't worth arguing with so leave it be.

Dear younger me,

don't worry so much about fitting in and looking normal, you'll get on fine when you find your group.

Be yourself, think for yourself, don't feel like you have to be "normal."

-Signed, present me

(PS you have a mohawk now it's sick af)

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I know it's a pain in the arse because they keep changing the timeslot, and it airs really late besides, but get out the TV guide and make an effort to watch The West Wing. You're better off watching it now than buying and binge-watching the entire seven seasons on DVD when you're supposed to be studying for your final undergraduate exams. 

 

Also, buy stock in Google. 

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To elementary school me, you don't have to make up crushes on people just to fit in, just go ahead and enjoy yourself.

 

To middle school me, the reason you're so confused about this girl is because you have a Giant Squish on her oh my god.

 

To (now) high school me, trust yourself and your feelings, don't try and be something you're not.

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Probably something like "you're not different from everyone else, there's nothing wrong with you". Also, don't be friends with people you don't actually like.

 

This reminds of a few years ago when I had such a bad squish on this girl that I'd fantasize about going back in time and telling my seventh grade self to become friends with her before it was too late  😂

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"You are totally capable of getting a PhD. But don't bother, it's not worth it..." 

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Don't be so perfectionist with relationships. Amatonormativity is not for you anyways.

You don't have to buy the full package 'love, romance, sex, marriage, children' to be valid. Just take what you can: if it is ok for your significant other then it's already worth it.

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14 hours ago, LBMango said:

"You are totally capable of getting a PhD. But don't bother, it's not worth it..." 

Doctor LBMango, if aros don't get PhDs who will? They have more time!

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Set boundaries and speak your truth. Who cares what others think?!! Your opinion matters! Also, there's a guy on YouTube named Phil Good (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4P-B-CFmY1zAJTXBE8aoHA). Look him up. His videos can help you set firm boundaries.

 

You're going to love how you feel after that 24-hour dry fast (no food, no liquids)!

 

Dear Elementary School Me:

You liked the feeling of jumping from the highest heights on the playground, because it gave you the feeling of exhilaration and freedom. You'll be using that feeling (and the many truths that come with it) when you're in college.

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You won't find a real friend, that guy in college will leave you when he will find a girlfriend. Everyone around you will want to find a partner and no one will think about friendship. Do not masturbate, you won't like it.. You'll be lonely and you won't be understood by anyone... Stay with Jesus Christ and try to survive that life as long as you can and after that everything will be alright...

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I think I already said it. My entire childhood up until age 11, there was an "voice" in my head(he 'sounded' distinctly older than me and spoke like an inner monologue but I knew it wasn't mine cause I 'sounded' different)who told me grown-up things like "That's a sexual reference." and "That's wildly inappropriate to say with a child in the room.". Like, the one of the only instances that I remember exactly what he said was when I was in the shampoo aisle, smelling shampoo. I smelt one an was like "Oh, that smells like InsertMaleClassmate'sName!" and he said that that was gay to know that(he was referring to the fact that I actively sniffed Classmate enough to memorize his scent). I felt ashamed cause heteronormative society and all. The last time we spoke, I was in a self-defense class and this boy my age I(kinda) had a crush on was straddling me are part of a technique. Ths Voice said "Yeah, this is pretty gay. Cause you are." and I was all in denial so I kept arguing saying I wasn't gay and he got pissed and said "Fine. You're not." and left and I haven't heard him since. Anyways like last year I was analyzing my inner monologue when I realized it sounded EXACTLY like the Voice. So I guess he technically was always me?  Or maybe he was my subconscious(me and my subconscious talk regularly).

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To my younger self:

Make friends sooner. They are amazing and can help in those times when you chose to suffer alone. I know it's hard but it's worth the effort. Kudos to you for actually deciding strangely that there's a chance you're not straight and question it though it took far too long to accept you are aroace or actually Google other gender identities to finally find a non-binary identity. Be happy with yourself because that's the best thing to do when you have one life.

Now I must go and keep learning how to live because annoyingly, there's no manual to life.

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Posted (edited)

Stop pretending to have a crush on people. You don't need that in your life. Go read some books, and start to write your own stories. Don't be mean to Oliver, he's in the same community you are, even if neither of you know that yet. 

Edited by Flurkin
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1. "It's ok, you are depressed af now, but you don't need to fix someone before you. So get your arse to fix yourself first"

2. "Yes, that boy in summer camp was the first sign that you where aro"

3. "You don't need to fix someone. I repeat, you. do. not. need. to. fix. someone. Mate, you are a mess and that is ok. No need to shame yourself for giving up, you did your max"

4. "That time you cried your heart out of the shower was what you needed at the moment. Trust me, you needed to let it out before it made you kill yourself. So yeah, it is always ok to cry."

5. "No great city was built in one day, it takes work and dedication. So take care of your body, one day at a time"

6. "Look up for aromanticism and pansexual, it will save you years of your time. Also, let go of that squish of middle school. She literally doesn't deserve your time, you know it's not gonna work ever. She is alloromantic and you know that she wants romance, so let go and save yourself the grief."

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listen to yourself.  if it's who you are or it's right for you, be honest with yourself and don't apologize.  that's the kind of freedom and peace you can't even explain.  if you want it, go get it, no time like the present.  if it's not making you happy, let it go.  sometimes you'll be unhappy for no reason.  get help.  it's ok to not be ok, and it won't always be like this.  god loves you and is with you always.  you're perfect.  i love you.  oh, and love allison the best way you know how, forever.  i hope you know how lucky you are.

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