ChimaeraNinde

One of the beautiful things about this community is the variety of experiences, and none of those make any of us any less aro. I remember having "crushes" as a kid and a preteen, that I know recognise as just admiration mixed with my intense desire to take part in what everyone else deemed the basic human experience. They were mostly based on fantasy and they felt like a game I had to play. Later in my life I spent three years trying to categorise every single relationship and feeling I had ever felt for other people, and it only made me more confused about where I stood in the aromantic spectrum, which I was already pretty sure I was part of. Compulsory heteronormativity is super difficult to recognise, and sometimes our brain fabricates a fantasy in which we do play along to it. I obviously don't know much about what you felt for that crush when you were 11, but have in mind even most allos agree that their crushes at that age weren't "the real deal" (whatever that even means). It's really difficult to look back and categorise what you felt such a long time ago, because time warps memories and if you had that crush as your blueprint for what you were supposed to wait for it's very probable that your brain fabricated how real it was over time. I also believe whatever your experience and relationship to romantic attraction are right now, that's what should dictate where you stand in the spectrum. Past experiences are cool to understand yourself better, but if nothing similar has happened in ten years then... PS: When I was like 12 I convinced myself I had a crush on a guy I knew was interested in me, and as soon as this "crush" developed into a relationship I freaked out and realised I had made that up completely, I didn't feel that way at all. I think that has been my biggest lesson on how credible the fantasies your brain fabricates can be.

No conozco a nadie en Madrid que sea aro :( excepto mi hermana jajaja

Soy de Madrid 😊 de qué parte eres tú?

That's so cool! I also practiced taekwondo for a couple of years when I was a teenager and i absolutely loved it. More recently I've practiced Ninjutsu and it has become my absolute favourite, it has everything I love about martial arts and more. I wish I had the time and the money to pick it back up soon, I know I will in the future. Siempre hace ilusión encontrar hispanxs online 😊 I'd love to hear more about it! Feel free to message me if you're in the mood to share.

I do! I've been writing since I was 9, it's really fun -and embarrasing- to read the stuff I used to write. I mostly write either low or high fantasy, what about you? 😄

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I definitely get it. I think for me being in a QPR with an allo person made me put it all into perspective even more. After this relationship ended, even if I still feel like I might actually want a "romantic" relationship, it immediately goes away after I spend close, quality time with my friends. I have learnt to recognise this doubt as loneliness grabbing onto whatever it can. Growing up being told a romantic relationship will be the ultimate fulfilling experience means our brains will gravitate towards that as a response to most negative feelings, specially loneliness. This is really important to remember: what we think about in a "fantasy" level, outside of reality, might not be what will make us happy in real life. It might be hard to know when the yearning is real and when it's mere fantasy, tho.

Hi there! I'm Chimaera, or Ninde, or ChimaeraNinde (i won't mind which one you use, and will respond to all three!). I'm 22, I identify as female (she/her) and I'm neurodivergent. I usually talk about myself as just "aro" or "aromantic", but in case it helps i identify the most with the experiences of quoiromantics, idemromantics and noviromantics. I have so many interests I don't think I can fit them in a short post without it reading like the most boring shopping list, so i'll try to summarise without making it tedious! I love most forms of art, specially when combined with creating or experiencing stories (acting, playing videogames, writing, reading, painting...). Most sagas with either interesting lore or interesting characters are a big yes from me, and I could probably talk about them for hours. I love crocheting, martial arts, concerts and interior design! I'm an insanely eclectic person and I love forming new connections with new, exciting materials! I'd love for this to be a way to meet more aromantic people with whom to share my experiences, and I can't wait to read all about yours! Thanks so much for reading through this if you did 😊 PD: I'm Spanish! So any Spanish people reading this please interact! I'd love to get to know you!