Acearospec

Elsa in Frozen - not interested in romance & misunderstood. 😉

False. (But I'm particular about them and only eat pancakes made from one specific mix). TPBM loves to travel to new places.

galactic

I didn't know of the term aromantic until a few years ago, but I definitely related to the experienced & figured out by my 20s that others didn't feel the same way... I attended a colleagues' wedding in 2006 & wrote this in a journal entry later: "At one point during the wedding the DJ had all the married couples dancing & even other times watching ___ & ___ and ___ & ___ (coupled partners) - they just seem so in love with each other still. Its amazing and a bit unbelievable to me to think about - to see that. Part of me thinks that's what it's supposed to be all about - to find someone who you can experience all kinds of love with during our time on earth. But I wonder if I can ever do that. I just don't feel like it for me - even though it looks nice - I don't understand it." Six months after that, my entry/understanding following a dinner outing with two friends was a bit clearer even if I still didn't know the terms: "We [two friends and I] discussed relationships. In the course of the conversation I felt like so much of what I was saying myself was sounding clearer - how I'd meant it for so long but not been able to explain. [Friend 1] also had great insight with it that actually really helped a lot, too. One thing that I've been struggling to comprehend with relationships is people's apparent desire/need for a "relationship" - marriage, partnerships, or even just with dating. To me it's not even as if it's something I'm ambivalent about, and certainly not a desire/need to have it, but something I so do not want any part of. And it seems like whatever positives and gains come from that can also come from any other relationships - friends or family, but that the losses and negatives are greater. Thus the losses outweigh the benefits.* And this to me is something I very definitely do not want. [Friend 1] suggested that my friendships were so deep and complete that perhaps this was why I do not have that desire/need/pull towards another kind of relationship." *In retrospect I can see how the cost-benefit analysis (which is how I process pretty much everything), while still true for me, is not necessarily so for others since their costs/benefits would be different than mine.

I've gone down a few rabbit holes reading about different types of attraction. Sometimes I feel more confident in my understanding & other times super confused. I think I've experienced something similar to what you describe & agree it's not quite aesthetic attraction because it feels like more - stronger or something, but I do end up just thinking of it as a type of strong aesthetic attraction. The way I figure it - folks experience other types of attraction to different degrees anyway, so maybe it's similar. I've also come across alterous attraction & other tertiary attractions & maybe one of them fits what you're experiencing. Have you looked into pseudoromantic perhaps? I've experienced this minus the "crush" part & with the personality part - with both celebrities & people I've met. I think sometimes its just easier with folks in media rather than irl though since it's less odd to stare at screens than at actual people... 😉 No personal romantic feelings here, but, especially with tv, movie, book characters, (and even real people that aren't me) I definitely "ship" characters & thus identify as a(n)egoromantic. Sorry that was sort of rambling thoughts since I'm pretty exhausted, but I am definitely interested in learning more/understanding types of attraction better, too.

Same here.

Yes, I have, though not for quite a while now, thankfully (at least not that I've noticed). I also get super uncomfortable (when I'm even aware its happening, but I'm similar to @Nix in that they'd have to be VERY obvious), but my general response is just to say something like "That's not really my thing." or "I'm not really interested in that/dating." I try & throw in a "thanks anyway" or "but I'm good with being friends" or something along those lines. To be honest, those are my better responses, and I got better at using them with a fairly neutral response, but it's still awkward. I used to be even more awkward though & would respond with real disbelief & something like, "no way, you don't want to date me" or "you're kidding, right?" (thinking they really were, not realizing they were serious) which pretty much always ended poorly. I don't recommend going that route...

It's often pretty hard to get an "official" diagnosis for any number of reasons. Self-diagnosed & suspected are valid & sometimes even more accurate! Welcome. :)

👋 hello fellow nd folks. (autistic & mild dyslexia)

This. ☝️ Though some folks aren't partial to the word "queer" itself (due to it's history or other reasons), it's personal preference what word(s)/label(s) one uses.

Fascinated, curious, intrigued - though tbh, moreso in media than irl. Maybe because it's easier to "study" it there? (I'm a(n)egoromantic) I think in general relationships - in every sense of the word - are sort of intriguing to unpack. (I mean everything from various human relationships, numbers, things in the natural word. I'm fascinated by how and why things work (or don't work) together. But as far as romantic relationships go, I find myself more curious about them & sort of invested in them than in some other types of relationships out there even though I don't want one myself. I appreciate them (from afar 😉) 🤷‍♀️

I'll only eat it melted - otherwise it's too cold. My favorite is chocolate peanut butter, but nearly any kind of chocolate will do. 😋

Not yet, but I might check them out. Thanks for the recommendation. 🙂 I actually read Shadow & Bone because I liked the Netflix adaptation & wanted to compare. Usually I like books better than tv/movie representations, but in this case I actually preferred the show. I agree - I tend to automatically reject required reading & have to really work to required material a fair chance/open mind. Jane Eyre was also required somewhere in my high school years, and the multiple choice quizzes to see if we were actually reading were lackluster measures of something, but certainly not reading comprehension. Luckily for me, I'd already read Jane Eyre in middle school by choice so I got to thoroughly enjoy it before schooling tried to drain the fun out of it for me. (Disclaimer: I say all of this, but am an educator & do appreciate the importance of reading.)

yum Kimchi

I'm sorry. This sounds awful & uncomfortable. My mother used to question me, but I think she was genuinely coming from more of a place of concern and worry - either that I wasn't happy or was afraid to tell her who I really was rather than taking an accusatory tone. I know you didn't ask for advice, but this may be helpful to read if you haven't already (or even to share with your mom if you think it might help): https://www.aromanticism.org/en/news-feed/coming-out-advice