Gökotta

I'm much more certain about my romantic orientation than sexual. Just the idea of being in a romantic relationship makes my skin crawl. On the other hand, I enjoy certain sexual activities... but the concept of being bodily involved with another person kills any enthusiasm for me.

I've got a ring from OuterPeaceGear on Etsy that I wear on a cord, does that count? 😛

Welcome! It's a pleasure to have you aboard.

Rather than identify with "aromantic" and "asexual" the moment I heard them, the process for me was more like groping blindly in the dark until I found the light switch. I sensed that there was something different about the way I felt about people from a very early age, but had to consciously apply the framework of aromanticism and asexuality for those myriad experiences to finally make sense. Before I did, I simply assumed that those experiences existed independent of one another, and that there was "something wrong with me" for struggling to establish human connection. Perhaps something autism-related, or trauma-related — even though I knew, deep down, that that didn't really make sense. Many of my friends, themselves neurodivergent individuals with and without trauma, have had successful, established romantic relationships with others, after all. So... what, was I just uniquely defective? Then I guess I looked into it more, and things started falling into place. Oh, maybe I'm aspec after all. Maybe I'm aromantic after all. Like noticing how tense your shoulders have been the whole day and finally letting them relax. That's when I knew I'd struck gold.

Welcome. Is that the Cat from Coraline?

I remember this guy. Those videos were truly unique in the sense that I haven't seen anything like them before or since. And the name, Creamer... LOL I'm not seeing how the nature of love letters connects to human psychology or sociology, so I'm not quite sure how to answer. Language-wise, I'm not entirely a prescriptivist, either, so if someone wants to use "love letter" in a non-romantic sense, my answer is "why not?"

On Discord, you would make an account and I would add you as a friend. (You can do this from your desktop browser, too, if you don't like downloading programs.) Then I'd be able to add you to a group chat and stream episodes of the series at a mutually agreed-upon time. I could also potentially stream on Google Meet, if they have an audio sharing option and others are comfortable with attending. I'll have to look into it (and other alternatives), though.

If either of you (and anybody else) are still interested, I have the series and could stream it (on, say, Discord).

Oh, that's a good one. I'll take "taking someone out to see the stars" as an acceptable activity that fits the gesture template too, lol. I had thought so, too. But Shaun Usher's Letters of Note: Love, which I picked up at the public library out of curiosity a few months ago, contains not only romantic love letters, but love letters between family and friends as well. There aren't as many of them, as one would expect, but I remember it leaving an impression on me: "You can write love letters that aren't romantic?!" So I think it's possible haha. Story time: Some years ago, I considered making an account on a dating site for the sole purpose of dispensing compliments. I thought doing so had the potential to brighten other people's days, especially in an environment that my friends kept describing as miserable. Unfortunately, I ran up against the question of whether I would sign up as a man or a woman and it became too complicated (no romo in addition to no homo if I were truthful, potential harassment and the guilt of lying to others if I posed as a woman), so I didn't do it. I'm still not sure where the inspiration for this idea came from.

I'm a newbie, so I'm not sure if this is the right forum to be posting this on or if such a topic already exists, but: What are some of your favourite gestures that are traditionally labelled "romantic"? Personally, I enjoy love letters. I've grown up with classical literature and long to express the depths of my affection for others with the same musicality of language that Austen or Brontë or Nabokov do. Had I the money, I'd invest in all kinds of stationery and a calligraphy set, and wax seals, and maybe even perfume too, and send letters to all the people I know (and some I don't know, if they were amenable to it), telling them how grateful I am for the simple fact that they exist in my life and I can speak with them. Unfortunately, love letters have a strong romantic connotation to them and I dread even the possibility that someone might develop feelings for me, so I have not done that. Maybe some of you here would be interested in an aromantic love letter exchange? I can't guarantee all the bells and whistles, but I do have some charming thank-you cards depicting owls and beetles and the like. (Just kidding, of course.)

Thank you! I've dabbled in learning your language before — it's quite beautiful — but the pitch accent is very difficult for someone who hasn't grown up with it haha.

I lost interest in multiple children's book series (His Dark Materials, Harry Potter, etc.) when the characters began showing romantic interest in one another. I just wanted them to get back to the adventure already lol.

I'm Ira, in my 20s, from the United States. Pretty happy to be here since I've identified as aspec for a while, but only recently realised that I'm probably some kind of aromantic too and felt immediately relieved about a bunch of things in my personal life. Getting into the details, I'd call myself an oriented aroace. I have a strong sensual and aesthetic attraction to other guys, which usually manifests in a ferocious urge to commit their most appealing qualities to paper. I'd say my asexual attraction most closely aligns with autochorissexuality (or aegosexuality, although my former Latin student brain throws a fit when I try to call it that). I've had exactly one relationship that didn't turn out so well, but thankfully, my ex-partner and I have remained close friends after a lot of work. I think that's it. You may be wondering what my username means. "Gökotta" is a Swedish word meaning "the act of rising in the early morning to watch the birds or appreciate nature." I'm neither Swedish, nor have I been an early riser in quite some time, so I'm not sure why I picked that when I signed up, but there you go. Anyway, I look forward to getting to know all of you!