Blue Kafka

@running.tally yes, being patient is definitely the answer. thank you for your advise, dear. It's mean a lot to me.  

Thank you so much for your response guys @Zorcodtoa @Eklinaar @running.tally Much appreciated it! 

@Zorcodtoa you're so lucky. i wish people's around me won't bother about my relationship. Thank God my parents not too nosy about it, but they're still expecting me to get married one day even though i already gave them a hint that i don't want to do it. *sigh* 

@Eklinaar yes, i agree with you. It's hard to find someone who have the same prespective like us, not only in online dating but also irl. I wish we could find someone, who could at least, understand and accepted they way we are. I have this one friend and i think she is also aromantic (because we're quite similar) But she's not aware that she is one. In the end, she is marrying her boyfriend (they have been dating since college). She said she doesn't love him but the guy doesn't mind about it. she also said by marrying him feels like cohabitating with a bestfriend and she like it. Apparently the guy accepted all of her conditions, and it make her feels comfortable with their relationship, which is very nice. that got me thinking to find a companion instead of finding a husband. Lol. 

@running.tally hey, that's a great idea! Why i didn't think about it before. Haha Thank you so much! I'll try to be more open with people in local community. I don't mind talking with new people, but the only problem is i don't know if there is a LGBTQA+ Community in my country. *sobs* maybe there are many communities for LGBT, but QA+? i don't know, since Queer, Aromantics & Asexual is not common in my country. Even LGBT communities are still fighting about their rights in here. It's tough. Mostly people in my country are closed-minded & religious types of people.  

I'm aromantic but allosexual. This year i'll turn 30, and as usual, on this age we seemingly being push to be in a relationship. I'm okay with being single but i guess i'm also feel okay with being in relationship with someone, as long as he was open minded with labels, which is hard to come by especially in the city/country that i'm living in.

All of my best friends mostly married and have their own life to deal with. I guess I'm somewhat feels lonely since i lost my friends one by one.

I have tried dating apps to find someone but in the end it was futile because i lost interest in the middle of it. I have been close to this 1 guy, but when i thought by dating him and have relationship with him means i need to spends most of my free times with him have made me suffocate. In the end i back out and lost interest.

what should i do? I don't mind to get married as long as i can have a loyal companion and monogamous sex friend. Lol. But i don't like getting attach to someone, especially if i'm not comfortable with them. Uggh.. So complicated.  I don't have close friend who still single and only a few friend who understand and open about me being an aro (mostly girls). And it's also quite stressful when my coworkers keep pushing me to be in relationship with someone. 

Need help!

and i also been wondering, does any of you (especially for aro) have ever felt jealousy? 

I had a relationship with a guy for about 1 year relationship (middleschool to highschool). I feel like an ass since i'm the one who attracted to him first and pursued him. He responded to me by asking me out. We've dated and  at first i thought i felt really happy cause my "crush" like me back guinenely. But no, turns out i felt suffocating. I don't understand why he wanted to meet up with me every weekend, why i must be with him every single day at lunch time at school and so on. I lost interest with him and broke up with him after trying to maintain our relationship for a year.

The second one was my best friend in college. We're really close, people thought we were dating but we're not. At first it was amazing because he was always there for me, we hang out, watched movies, he understand me more than anyone that i've know. but i suddenly he change and i don't know how when it started, but suddenly i was aware that he had feeling for me and it made so scared and uncomfortable. so i back out from him. He was angry at me at that time and we stop talking for along time. Now we've keep in touch. He still my friend tho not as close as before. And i'm happy that he have married someone suitable for him. 

Maybe because i'm an aro, i always freak out whenever guys approaching me so i always find my way to back out from them. Lol. Even now, I feel more comfortable being a single even though i'm already 29. 

This is interesting topics. I love to ship characters in fiction stories/movies especially if they have chemistry but it's strictly to gay (male) couple, not interested if it's hetero couple. Bromance is awesome, but relationship more than that is also awesome. I don't like shipping real people or fanfic based on real people. Romantic movie/story is a big no. I never find it interesting and i also hate it when characters (hetero) supposed to be best friends suddenly became an OTP. Like why? I hate it, why can't they just be friends. Lol.