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Jot-Aro Kujo

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About Jot-Aro Kujo

  • Birthday 01/20/1998

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  • Orientation
    Aromantic bisexual
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  • Occupation
    Costume design student

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  1. You can be whatever you want to be bro
  2. I'm bisexual, not a lesbian, but I absolutely feel the disconnect from the sapphic community. Honestly, femininity in general tends to be pretty heavily associated with romance. Plus, in order to push back against the "predatory lesbian" stereotype, this weird ideal of the Soft Pure Wholesome Fairytale Romance Sweet Pure Soft Wlw Couple Uwu thing has gotten really prevalent, which pushes away those of us who are sexual. Basically being a sapphic aro is just a bad time all around lol
  3. Lmao where are they hearing sexual attraction prioritized in aro advocacy? I mean, unless you count "allo aros begging to be accepted within their own community" as advocacy... I've been involved in aro advocacy for several years now and never encountered people trying to use allo aros as a bargaining chip with alloros. If anything, when it comes to discussions within the wider queer community, I see us used as an argument as to why aspecs shouldn't be allowed into the community- That "Chad the Fratboy" could easily pretend to be allo aro to get access to the queer community (as if straight guys want anything to do with it, lmao).
  4. There's actually a term called arogender specifically for people who feel inclined to put a word to this phenomenon. Doesn't apply to me, but I thought I'd mention it in case people aren't aware. Though I will say that even as someone who's very much a cis woman, being aro has often made me feel alienated from my gender. Womanhood is so closely associated with romance that there are very few women in media I can relate to- Most media aimed at women is about or heavily features romance, and most women in media aimed at men only exist to be love interests, or don't get much screen time/character development. For a long time I thought I must have had heavy internalized misogyny despite my attempts to avoid those kinds of thoughts. Eventually I realized it wasn't that I disliked women, it was just that I disliked romance, and... It's pretty much impossible to find women in media in a non-romantic context. :/
  5. Absolutely. As an aromantic bisexual, being aro honestly has more impact on my life than being bi does. There is nothing even remotely "straight" about aromanticism or asexuality
  6. What? Is winged eyeliner considered a gay girl thing now? That's news to me. If anything I associate it more with straight girls. Clothes are clothes, man, wear what ya wanna. If wearing flannels is """appropriation""" now there's gonna be a lot of disgruntled Canadian men...
  7. I don't think so, personally. Hikikomori usually has more to do with mental health struggles, with Japan being a country where it's highly frowned upon to acknowledge mental health issues. It also generally includes a refusal to leave the house at all as much as possible, including not working, not going to school, not seeing friends, not going to the store, etc., none of which has anything to do with romance.
  8. I have read enough Fullmetal Alchemist to know immortality is a curse. No thank you
  9. I think the more pertinent question is, does the distinction matter to you? Which label do you want to use? Labels exist to serve our communication needs. Instead of focusing on what you could potentially be, try turning it around and focusing on what you want to tell other people.
  10. Yeah, um... That's pretty much how my friends and I act around each other. That's not necessarily a romantic signal, especially when aros are involved. If your relationship with this girl is not fulfilling your desires, that's understandable, but it's also not her problem. There are an endless amount of alloromantic fish in the sea, so to speak. If you seek a romantic partnership- And ESPECIALLY if you respect this girl as much as you claim to- Then the thing to do is to get to know someone who also desires a romantic partnership. NOT to project one onto someone who has explicitly told you she has no interest in romance. You ask how aromantic people's partners cope- Without even having asked this girl whether she wants to be your partner- But if I can be frank? The question you need to be thinking about is, how do aromantic people cope with being treated the way we are? Do you know what it's like to be always seen as an expectation to be fulfilled? To give someone your all and be told it's not enough? To grow close to someone, to think you've finally found someone who understands you and doesn't see you as half a person, only to learn they lament the fact that you cannot feel something they want you to feel? Do you know what it's like to live your life suspicious of men who are nice to you, because most of the time they only do so in the hopes that you'll give them something you cannot give? Do you know what it's like to tell someone up front that you don't feel certain feelings, only to have them insist that you do and that they know you better than you do, because they cannot accept that you, as a person, are not the same as the person they have made up in their heads? Do you know what it's like to live in a world where other people's desire for something you cannot give comes before your autonomy as a person? To never have a relationship where you can truly feel comfortable, because you're always afraid of the day your friends say "Actually, this relationship isn't good enough for me. Make it one you're not comfortable with. Give me that which you cannot give. I'm not your friend anymore, I'm someone who wants you to change who you are for me." Do you know what that's like? Think about that, and then ask yourself, how does one cope?
  11. Who is to say you can't have an intimate sexual relationship without romance? Sure, they're harder to find, but it's not like it's illegal to bang a homie, ya know?
  12. Are you not affectionate with your friends? Do you not enjoy spending time around them?? I'm sorry to hear that... Romance is not a prerequisite to companionship or kindness. It might be worth examining your ideas about friendship and why you think x things have to be romantic. Also, speaking as an aromantic girl myself, there's so little information about aromanticism and it's such a highly stigmatized identity that like... It's not really something people identify with on a whim, you know? It takes a lot of research and a lot of self-reflection and a lot of courage for someone to say "Yes, I'm aromantic". So I highly doubt she's "mistaken" about her identity. Furthermore, is she asexual? If not, she may be expressing sexual interest in you. But it sounds to me more like she's just being an affectionate friend.
  13. I've never heard of it either. Is it a Tiktok thing?
  14. Um... I think you might be a little bit confused. This is a forum for people who primarily don't experience romantic attraction.
  15. Are you familiar with the concept of amatonormativity? It might be worth examining how that plays into your life. Though it is true that there are aros who have romantic relationships, it sounds like that’s not really what you want. The concept of romance as a “need” is something that’s so strongly pushed on us from such an early age that it’s not uncommon for aros to grow up really invested in it, only to do a complete 180 when they realize they don’t have to be. You might be going through that.
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