aihpen

On 7.9.2017 at 2:06 AM, James said:

WHO RUNS CAPSLOCKIA?

 

HOW DO POLITICS WORK AROUND HERE? 

 

CAN I BE THE CHIEF JUSTICE OF THE SUPREME COURT?

HELLO, I AM CAPSLOCKIAS OFFICIAL MAGICIAN, LET ME WELCOME YOU TO OUR WONDERFUL SOMEWHAT DEAD COUNTRY CAPSLOCKIA, BECAUSE NOBODY ELSE SEEMS TO DO THIS BECAUSE MAYBE EVERYONE DIED OR WHATEVER, I DON'T KNOW. WE ARE A CONSTITUTIONAL MONARCHY WITH OUR KING BEING XERCES BLUE AND OUR PRIME MINISTER BEING SPUD. THOSE TWO WOULD ALSO BE THE ONES WHO WOULD BE ABLE TO OFFICIALLY DECLARE YOU CHIEF JUSTICE OF THE SUPREME COURT, BUT I'M NOT SURE HOW ACTIVE THE TWO STILL ARE. OUR KING MIGHT BE HARD TO REACH, PROBABLY REALLY BUSY BEING A KING OR SOMETHING OR MAYBE DEAD TOO LIKE MOST OF THIS COUNTRY, BUT MAYBE OUR PRIME MINISTER CAN BE SUMMONED (@Spud)

YELLING DOESN'T HAVE TO BE STRESSING, YELLING CAN ALSO JUST BE SHOWING YOUR EXCITEMENT AND THAT IS AMAZING!!!

OH GOD, I HAVEN'T BEEN ON AROCALYPSE IN A WHILE AND CAPSLOCKIA HAS ALREADY TURNED INTO SUCH A DISAPPOINTMENT. WOW!

AND THEN THERE IS MY RANDOM (BUT NOT REALLY THAT RANDOM) USERNAME THAT SOME TIME AGO SOME PEOPLE ON AVEN SHORTENED TO PEN AND NOW THAT LOVELY NAME GETS COMPLETELY RUINED BY PEOPLE WITH NAMES LIKE "PENCE" OR "LE PEN" LIKE IT MAKES ME SERIOUSLY CONSIDER CHANGING MY USERNAME, BUT I'M SO USED TO THIS ONE, I LIKE THIS ONE AND ALSO I NEED TO KEEP POOR PENPAPO ALIVE

AND NO ONE NEEDS SPACES IN USERNAMES, SPACES BELONG INTO SPACE NOT IN USERNAMES, THERES A LOT MORE SPACE FOR SPACES IN SPACE THAN THERE IS IN USERNAMES WITH THOSE CHARACTER LIMITS.

On 22.1.2017 at 9:47 PM, Zae said:

Well, in german it's just Aromantik, so basically the same~

No, that's aromanticism. The adjective aromantic is aromantisch in German and I think the aromantic as in the person is called Aromantiker (which I can't get used to, for some reason I think Aromantiker sounds really weird )

WOW PEOPLE ARE ACTUALLY POSTING HERE AGAIN

THAT'S EXACTLY WHY I DON'T GO ON THE AVEN CAPSLOCKIA, IT'S SO CROWDED AND I DON'T LIKE CROWDS. THOUGH THIS HERE DEFINITELY NEEDS TO BE MORE ACTIVE... AVEN IN GENERAL STRESSES ME OUT SOMETIMES WITH HOW MUCH IS GOING ON THERE.

On christmas day we were visiting my grandparents and when we were leaving my grandma told me to bring my boyfriend next year... I practically ran away because I just couldn't stop myself from laughing at that. She says something like that every year, I wonder how many years it'll take her to realize that that's not going to happen.

On 6.12.2016 at 1:34 PM, Kojote said:

I took my words from this " Consequently, the distress is not limited to a desire to simply be of the other gender, but may include a desire to be of an al­ternative gender, provided that it differs from the individual’s assigned gender. ", and I paraphrased to much .__. what I wanted to say was, that you really want to be of your expressed gender, which differs from your bio-sex . The keyword for you is "identify", since you don't feel like your pender (get it? pen? gender? hahah I'm sry I'm gonna lshow myself out |D) should necessarily have a label, aka be identified. But you can feel strongly about your gender, even if you don't identify it via label. The key part for gender dysphoria is the strong psychological strain that comes with the discrepancy between your bio and your preferred/experienced gender, no matter which one either of them is.

That makes sense, I think I know how you mean it now.

On 6.12.2016 at 1:34 PM, Kojote said:

Plus, let's not forget: you can feel the distress of gender discrepancy without "qualifying for gender dysphoria". Gender Dysphoria is not a requirement to not be cis.

Yes this is important. It's something I knew before, I just never heard about how it is the other way around which is why I started this thread But I feel this kind of started to drift off topic to what even is gender dysphoria or dysphoria in general... oooops Anyway what you said is always worth mentioning.

15 hours ago, Ettina said:

There's also transabled people. They feel dysphoria around not having a certain disability, most often feeling like a certain limb isn't supposed to be there and they want it removed. So that would be another way that a cis person could feel body dysphoria.

I never heard about that, but we can agree that there are more forms of body dysphoria than gender dysphoria, I didn't really phrased my question clear enough. I think I should actually edit my first post, so it's clear that I'm not talking about body dysphoria in general...

On 4.12.2016 at 3:29 PM, Kojote said:

Can I ask why you feel like you wouldn't "qualify" in my paraphrased definition vs. the article? I'm curious and I'd like to know where you draw the blurred line =) Maybe I used bad phrasing and that's why you feel that there's a difference.

Well the diagnostic criteria for gender dysphoria in adolescents and adults from the article use "experienced gender" where I'd say mine is different than my gender assigned at birth, but you said:

On 30.11.2016 at 11:12 PM, Kojote said:

you actually have to strongly identify with a gender that's not your bio-sex

and I wouldn't say I "strongly identify" with that gender. I also don't strongly identify with my assigned gender and also not with any other gender or even with not having one. I think I do have a gender and that that is different from my assigned one, but I wouldn't use "strongly identify" for that... I do feel strongly about the things that I think are caused by that gender, but the gender itself... I don't even feel the need to find a label for it, I just really like not identifying as anything whether that's a woman, a man, something inbetween, no gender at all or anything else, I don't think I want to identify even though I think I have a gender and that's not my assigned one? Does this somehow make sense?

22 hours ago, Untamed Heart said:

I guess in my case, I'm more of a tomboy than a very feminine person and wouldn't care if I'd been flat chested? I can see why it wouldn't be classed as gender dysphoria though. I'm comfortable in my body, because I've learned to accept myself more since I left school - not because "I'm a woman with conveniently nice feminine features", but I dislike uninvited male attention, at least if those men seem the type who just see women walking round town as pieces of meat. That's what makes me want to hide my breasts, but I would agree probably not dysphoria in a broader sense.

I'm not going to tell you if that's dysphoria or not, because I firstly don't feel like I know enough about this to tell you and also I can't look into your mind so I wouldn't know anyway. But I'd say if you feel like that about your body because of male attention, it doesn't seem to be gender dysphoria because it's not really caused by gender. If it would be dysphoria, then probably another not gender related form of body dysphoria? I really don't know, I'm no expert.

17 hours ago, Cassiopeia said:

I did not say I have gender dysphoria, and I'm sorry if it sounded insensitive. What I was -perhaps a bit awkwardly- trying to say is that I can relate to what @Untamed Heart describes there. I think its more than a simple insecurity, but I'm not sure how much of it is The Gay^tm or perhaps a reaction to sexism and objectification. Who knows?

I didn't think you were insensitive at all. I totally see what you both were talking about, I was just saying that because untamed said she experienced it mildly before, so I was just questioning whether actual dysphoria can ever be called "mild". I asked it to understand dysphoria better, not because I thought you two were insensitive or something

17 hours ago, Cassiopeia said:

But we can agree, gender dysphoria would not be an appropriate term, at least not in my case, because as I said earlier, it is not a gender thing. 

 

Anyway, there is a thing called body dysmorphia, and it can fit the category of something similar to gender dysphoria but its not a gender issue or an ED.

(And no, this part is not really about me, just brain things in general)

I heard about body dysmorphia before and I think for some people it might be hard to tell which of the two applies to them, personally I'm sure though that it isn't something I have. And that is definitely a thing that cis people can get too

On 30.11.2016 at 11:12 PM, Kojote said:

You can definitely experience dysphoria if you are not trans. That being said, it's not possible to experience gender dysphoria, if you are cis. I get the feeling that a lot of people seem to forget that "dysphoria" is a strong psychological term to describe a symptom that accompanies anxiety, depression and other negative states of mind and significantly increases the risk for suicide in an individual. It's a strong word. Feeling uncomfortable with certain aspects of your body or your role in society is... well.... normal... Experiencing gender or body dysphoria is listed in the DSM-5. Remember, dysphoria is the opposite of euphoria, it's a negative feeling akin to a "bad high".

Thanks. This is what I was asking for

On 30.11.2016 at 11:12 PM, Kojote said:

Cis people can absolutely feel uncomfortable in their bodies, even towards typical gender markers also known as >>experiencing body dysphoria<< (for example you can feel dysphoria for your breast.), but gender dysphoria is a special kind of psychological stress that occurs if your gender identity doesn't match your assigned sex at birth. Soo, disliking your breasts can be a part of gender dysphoria, but it's not the whole thing. For gender dysphoria, you actually have to strongly identify with a gender that's not your bio-sex (the DSM says "the opposite sex", since it's a word used to describe trans experiences, but I'm including NBs).

I guess in that case I wouldn't feel gender dysphoria, but according to this:

On 30.11.2016 at 11:12 PM, Kojote said:

Here's a read on Gender Dysphoria and it's markers. 

I would.... I guess that's what my problem is with all of this. There is a different description everywhere and it's so confusing

On 30.11.2016 at 9:09 PM, Untamed Heart said:

I think I've experienced it very mildly in the past. I have fairly ample breasts and used to sometimes not be comfortable with having them at all, particularly when they were drawing unwanted male attention. I did used to fantasise about binding my chest up instead of wearing a bra, to minimise them (they're saggy when not contained, so it would have been uncomfortable for me to just not wear a bra, not to mention probably also obvious if I was only wearing a T shirt).

On 2.12.2016 at 5:39 PM, Cassiopeia said:

Same here. I have actually considered getting surgery. Its not just the unwanted attention but also its inpractical, being inbetween sizes, not being able to move etc.

I am prefectly happy with being a woman, I just want to have a slightly different bodytype, to look smarter in clothes and be more comfortable in the gym.

I don't know if that could be called dysphoria though? Isn't that something many cis women feel? I don't know, I don't feel like I can answer that, I don't know enough about the topic. At least I don't think it would be gender dysphoria, since the reason why you feel that way doesn't really have something to do with gender, but more because it's physically uncomfortable? I don't know, I still don't understand anything

What I get from all of your answers though is, that there is no clear line between what gender dysphoria is and what isn't. And depending on what you call gender dysphoria, the answer to my question differs too. I just hate to know that when someone says they experience gender dysphoria, it doesn't really tell me anything because people use that so differently... and honestly I don't think I ever will understand because there just isn't a 100% clear description and probably there will never be one because it's just not a simple enough topic to say that there is an exact point where gender dysphoria starts.

I don't mind it much when people are kissing, but you know, don't be in my way while doing that. I just really can't stand it when I sit in a theatre with a perfect view of the stage.... until the two people in front of me start kissing. And no not just a short one, they have to take ages and I can't see anything besides them kissing. Can't they do that somewhere else, where they won't bother me??? The theatre is only one example. Sometimes I walk on a narrow sideway at a busy street and then there is this couple standing on the middle of the sideway taking all the time in the world to kiss... and block my way...

13 minutes ago, Zae said:

YEAH, I THINK A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE QUITE UPSET ABOUT THAT :\

THEY ARE UPSET ALL AROUND THE WORLD. I'M LIVING PRETTY MUCH ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE EARTH AND EVERYONE I TALKED TALKED TO WAS UPSET ABOUT IT FIRST BREXIT NOW THIS... AND THEN NEXT YEAR ARE OUR ELECTIONS...

HERE, BECAUSE IT'S NEEDED:

RIGHT, THAT HAPPENED... I DON'T KNOW HOW, BUT IT DID. THOUGH I STILL HOPE FOR THE WORLD AND ALL THE AMERICANS, THAT THIS WAS JUST A HORRIBLE NIGHTMARE OF MINE

@Zemaddog LET'S HOPE YOUR NEW PHONE WONT END LIKE THAT BEFORE YOU PLAN TO GET A NEW ONE ANYWAY.

On 27.10.2016 at 11:03 PM, Miles said:

It sounds like you could just go with woman-aligned nonbinary.

I might look like a woman to other people, but that doesn't mean I present this way because I want to... and therefore it doesn't really have anything to do with my gender. It's simply because of other people that I look this way and I hope to change that in the (hopefully near) future.

On 27.10.2016 at 10:08 PM, Miles said:

Okay, I'm a mental health major and sociology nerd, there's a chapter on gender in my psych textbook, and I'm a dysphoric nonbinary person whose first binder should arrive within about three weeks. When people are uncomfortable with expectations to be feminine or masculine, that's called gender role strain. And if they want to do something like bind, take hormones, get surgery, use different pronouns, if they're uncomfortable with people seeing them as strictly male/female, if they want to use a gender ambiguous nickname...well, they might want to look into whether they're actually cis.

Okay I do get that gender role strain thing occasionally, but what made me wondering if I'm cis  were some of the other things you mentioned... I want to bind and surgery sounds tempting, but I'm scared of going to doctors because I've been to so many in my life and most of them were no help at all and some might have even made things worse than before, so I'm quite hesitant when it comes to something like a surgery... I've thought about hormones, but don't think it'd be worth it because while I'd like some aspects of it (like redistribution of fat in the body), I wouldn't like other parts (like facial hair) and I'm not quite sure how I'd feel about other aspects (like voice changes), so it would probably not make much sense. I don't care about pronouns to be honest and same with how people see me. Gender ambiguous nicknames are cool, but my name doesn't offer many nickname possibilities, but I think I'd really like that, at least I really like being called Pen here and on aven, which I'd say could be for any gender.

So if I'd want to follow what you said I should look into whether I'm actually cis... That's exactly what I'm trying to do, but none of that seems to get me any further with finding out.

On 28.10.2016 at 5:03 PM, cute kitty Meow! Mewo! said:

well, there is something that most people experience, that some days they feel more gendered and other days less gendered. or whatever. maybe saying feel more gendered isn't the universal way of describing feeling shame, or something, over a gender-related attribute or expectation.

 

if a cis woman one day, didn't feel woman enough, would that be gender dysphoria? it wouldn't be the extent to which gender dysphoria can be painful, sure. but is it not still dysphoria regarding gender? I wosuld say that any man who's question his manhood and any woman who hasn't felt pretty enough has felt a small level of gender dysphoria. what about a woman who feels like she's not noticed because of her gender? and wishes she were a dude just so that she could be successful. couldn't you even say that a man who wants to look pretty, but feels like he can't because he's a dude, has experienced gender dysphoria, even though he is a cis dude?

 

I find it hard to imagine a trans person who hasn't experienced gender dysphoria in their life, but when you take a step back and ask what gender dysphoria can be, no it  isn't something that is only experienced by trans people. 

I guess that totally depends on how you define gender dysphoria. If you think of it as discomfort/unhappiness/distress caused by your sex/gender assigned at birth, it might be seen as gender dysphoria, but I also read definitions of gender dysphoria that add words like intense or strong to the definition in which case the examples you used might not be gender dysphoria.

That's why I don't understand any of this gender stuff, there are always either different definitions floating around the internet or the definitions are extremely vague... I honestly don't even care that much about finding a label for myself, knowing how I feel and how I want to act on those feelings is enough for me, but I like to do my best to understand other peoples identities

17 hours ago, Zemaddog said:

There are different types of gender dysphoria. The ones I'm most familiar with are body and social dysphoria, although there's probably others. If you experience dysphoria about having an AFAB body I'd say that it's gender dysphoria, but more specifically body dysphoria. Most of my dysphoria is body related. I'm not out to anyone IRL so everyone sees me as male and I just accept that people will refer to me as such. The only circumstances where it hurts is when someone expects certain things from me because I'm male. At the moment people keep saying I need a haircut and I'm just sick of it.

 

Also, don't think I'm an expert on this subject. I'm really not.

This describes pretty well how I feel. I'm really not bothered by being called female, but when people try to tell me to do certain things or act in certain ways etc. just because I'm considered a female, then that is honestly very annoying. But having a female body sucks. Well as a child it was fine, but then puberty came...

Also, I don't expect anyone to be an expert on this subject, but sometimes talking to other people about something I don't understand on my own helps a lot (no matter how much they know about the subject, sometimes people don't know anything and then their stupid questions get me further )

4 hours ago, Jade said:

To refer to the original point (I'm cis so feel free to ignore my advice here, heh, but I did my best):

What's helped me and some of my friends the most is this: when you're confused, focus on what you want (for example, someone might want to bind and go on T but be referred to with she/her pronouns; or maybe they'll want to use they/them and get bottom surgery without going on hormones or getting top surgery; or any other combination. transition isn't all-or-nothing) whether than What You/Your Experiences Truly Are Deep Down (the people mentioned above might identify as gender-non-conforming cis women, non-binary people, trans men, none of the above... whatever feels right to them). Live the life that will make you most happy; labels describe what you want to do, they don't decide it for you. If you're dysphoric and confused, figure out how you want to deal with that (therapy, body positivity, changing your location/friends, makeup, surgery, medication, hormones, exercise, etc etc, whatever you think will help you) first; if you're unsure what the right labels for you are, that's okay, you have your whole life to question them, but wouldn't it be nice to do that in a body that feels like it's yours?

That's exactly what I was planning to do. I don't really care about labeling myself. I don't care whether I'm cis or whatever. Because I know what I want and probably wouldn't tell people anyway. The questions I asked were out of pure curiosity and because my mind keeps wandering there

I used to play the violin, but I don't anymore because I've got too many hobbies to handle at once and had to cut something out and that happened to be playing the violin. I was never too good anyway, but I enjoyed it, especially playing together with others, that was fun (well, once I got used to my teacher... )

EW OCTOBER JUST REMINDS ME OF ASTHMA BECAUSE THAT IS WHEN MY ASTHMA USUALLY GET'S WORSE. TOO MUCH COLD AND FOGGY AIR FOR ME TO BREATHE PROPERLY BUT ON THE OTHER SIDE THIS IS THE TIME OF THE YEAR WHEN STORES START TO SELL CHRISTMAS FOODS AND WHILE SOME OF THOSE THINGS ARE TOO EARLY TO BE SOLD IN MY OPINION, THEY ALSO START SELLING MY FAVOURITE COOKIES BECAUSE APPARENTLY THEY ARE CHRISTMAS COOKIES

@Zemaddog That makes sense, but that leads me to the question where the (maybe blurry) line between gender and body dysphoria is. If you feel dysphoria about having for example an afab body, but don't really care if others see you as a female or anything else, is that body dysphoria? Or gender dysphoria? Does gender dysphoria always include a social aspect like what pronouns people use and being perceived as a certain gender?

All the time I read about how not all trans people feel dysphoria, but I never see anything about the other way around. Are all people who feel dysphoria trans? Are there cis people who feel dysphoria? I've been wondering about this for a while now and I'm actually surprised that it somehow never gets mentioned. Maybe the answer to this is very obvious, but as almost anything that has to do with gender, I am completely clueless.

Anyone has answers for me? It would be highly appreciated

I'm aro ace and afab and my index fingers are longer than my ring fingers.

I don't believe the length of my fingers could have anything to do with my orientation... How do people even come up with the idea to make a study about that?

I'M BACK! AND I AGREE JOB APPLICATIONS ARE NO FUN. AS FAR AS I REMEMBER ALL THE JOBS I HAD IN THE PAST WERE JOBS THAT I GOT WITHOUT PROPER APPLICATIONS. SOMETIMES I JUST KNEW PEOPLE WHO OFFERED ME A JOB AND ONCE I CALLED THIS INSTITUTION BECAUSE I WAS INTERESTED IN WORKING THERE AND THEN I HAD AN "JOB INTERVIEW" WHICH WAS MORE A CONVERSATION ABOUT SOME DETAILS OF THE JOB AND ME VERY(!!!) SHORTLY SHOWING MY SKILLS, I PRACTICALLY ALREADY HAD THE JOB THE MOMENT I SHOWED INTEREST IN IT  I FEEL LIKE IT'S NOT GOING TO BE THAT EASY LATER THOUGH, WHEN I ACTUALLY TRY TO EARN A LIVING

I'M ALRIGHT. I'M ON HOLIDAYS AND I'M GOING CRAZY FROM BEING AROUND MY FAMILY ALL DAY AND BERELY GET SOME TIME ALONE, BUT I'M HERE FOR THE MUSIC AND THAT HAS BEEN GREAT SO FAR, SO IT'S DEFINITELY WORTH IT