myweirdaroself

False TPBM has >2 instagram accounts

SO many things: 1) I remember this very specific incident in fourth grade where there was this specific friend group I really wanted to join at school. When I asked them if I could join them, they said, "only if you tell us who your crush is", and then I said that I didn't have one, so they assumed that I was just too shy or didn't trust them enough to tell them so they offered to start first and each one of them (3 or 4, I can't exactly remeber), and then when it was my turn again, and after they made it very clear that they won't believe me if I continue to say no one, and won't be friends with me, I picked someone random. They were all very surprised by that becasue apparently all of them found him very unattractive and couldn't wrap their heads around how I could possible be attracted to him. Nevertheless, I joined that friend group for a while, and literally everything they talked about were their crushes and how they feel when they pass by and so on, and I just couldn't relate whatsoever. And they also were surprised that I didn't feel nervous or didn't even recognise when my "crush" was around. I ended up leaving them and hanging out with teachers instead xD 2) Whenever someone would ask me about my dream meeting with my husband (both heteronormative & amatonormative), I would say that I don't want anything dramatic, I don't want there to be a moment where we ask each other what each others' names are or so on, we would just already know each other from uni/work or something and then decide that we want to get married (basically friendship lol). And to answer the question, "what's your dream wedding?", I would say that I wouldn't want to be the star of my wedding, neither would the person I'm getting married to, but it would rather be a casual hangout with the people invited, and that I wouldn't wear a white dress or anything because "it's not like it's something special or anything". 3) After finding out about asexuality, I immediately resonated with the label, and it wasn't even an "aha moment" or anything for me because it felt like I really just always knew that I was asexual but it was just about stumbling across the term. Even then, I was just like, "ah, me" and didn't put much thought into it. Then, I felt that there's something deeper about me that's making me very different from others, it's not just sexual attraction I'm not feeling, there's also something else. Asexuality was no longer an adequate explanation for why I felt that romatnic relationships shouldn't be regarded as superior to all other forms and why I felt friendship on a deeper level than most people seem to. 4) I think it really started when I felt my first alterous attraction (I obviously didn't know that's what it's called at that time) and I was just like what is this thing I'm feeling? Like I don't think this is your average friendship or platonic feelings, but it's also like not romantic either. It seemed to me that I loved that person romantically but without wanting to engange in romantic activities with them (that's just because amatonotmativity made it seem that there's a correlation between the intensity of love and the romantic nature of it, when in fact, it wasn't romantic at all). I started to look more into aromanticism (which I had already heard of but didn't feel like described me neccesarily), especially after experiencing my second alterous attraction 4 years later.